Everything in my life seems so fake. From the fact that my friends won't notice me except when they have no one to talk to, to the fact that my parent don't seem to care about me at all. Most of the time I question my existence in this world. Am I just a mistake? Am I not suppise to be here? Why can't I be normal and have normal friends and family who cares about you? All of those questions have been a mystery since the day I have born. Maybe I shouldn't be here at all. If I could just leave for

Well, my stalker was there tonight. Even though there's too many people there, and I didn't see him in the crowd, I saw him afterward when I walked towards my locker. He dressed up nicely, even though he's not part of the group that was being honnor. I have to say that he looks better like that. He walked up to me and congradulated me, and told me good job. I smiled and appreciate him alot. My friends and teachers are the only ones who shows that they cares and actually said nice stuff about me

I had a very very werid dream yesterday. I dream that I was in a living room and my dad need to cut my stomache open to save someone. He used a pair of scissors to cut open my stomache. It feels werid, no pain just uncomfortable. He left one side untouch so he can open the stomache like a door. When he finished cutting, he opened my stomache and for some reason I fear something. Though I don't know what it is. Then he cut from the side of my face and that's when it started to hurt. It's werid, since

Yay I survived the first two weeks of school after a very long break. Even thought school started 2 weeks ago again, I still never get use to it yet. Teachers are still boring, friends are hyper as always, and my stalker is talking to me again. Sigh. Everything seems so normal yet I don't feel like I am part of it. I always feel left out for some reason. Oh well. At least nothing bad happen so far.

Today is the last day of the holiday break. Even though two weeks already went by, it still feel like only one day has gone by. I guess doing the same thing over and over again everyday just makes you feels like time pass very fast. After two weeks of no school, I am now panicking in my room. Unfortunately for me, I forgot almost everything over the break. Where my locker is, the promise that I made to my friend (I will bring her candies) and how early I have to wake up the next day. I feel bad