Good thread.
My story... I stayed home with Carzeebear til she was about two, then she went to part time day care while I did some part time teaching. Then Babybear came along and he went to part time day care much earlier because, 1. We really needed the money and 2. I knew and trusted the staff at the daycare by then. That's actually an important point people miss. The staff at day care are not unqualified "strangers" They are professional people who the child and parents build a strong relationship with. They are very well trained with a massive amount of accountability and they are in the job because they genuinely want to be there. (In NZ anyway)
I heard from a child psychologist on the radio that 20 hours a week of quality daycare is good for children. So I set that as my limit. Happily, as a teacher I could do that. Many mums don't have that luxury! It is usually the Mums who don't have a "career" but rather a job, (because living on one wage is all but impossible these days for most people) who get stuck in the guilt trap of being a working mum. Let's not make life even harder for others by heaping judgement on them.
I completely agree. Some times after I come home from a full day at work and have to face the demands of teenagers, I feel like a double time Mum. Certainly not part time.