Okay, so I have this friend. I'll name him P and he is sending me mixed messages. He once said "I don't consider you a friend" then went on to call me names like "annoying, self centered, boring and annoying".

I still hang out with him because my best friend still hangs out with him as well. So it's a group thing. Once we were hanging and P says "Do you hate me?" I replied with "No, not exactly. it just annoys me when you show off in front of my bestie" then he went quiet.

If he doesnt consider me a friend, why did he ask if I hated him? why should he care?

Also he send me a message on msn telling his problems as well. If I ain't a friend,why would he want my help.

Thanks in advance.

How old is he? That's typical crush behavior. Boys act like idiots when they like a girl, and end up making the girl think they boy hates their guts when really they are pining for her.

He's 20 and he used to like me but he makes out with my best friend in front of me and he says he does to make me jealous.

This is pretty usual crush-behavior, just like what Aldrea said...

... But he's making out with your best friend to make you jealous? Whaaat? Let's just say that this guy is a jerk, doesn't know how to treat a girl he likes, and really just ditch him for a new group of friends as soon as possible.

Did you reject him then? Because if you did, then maybe he's just pretending to hate you in order to feel less vulnerable around you. Maybe he's trying to get some of his pride back or something. When people feel weak, that's when their defenses are most likely to go up and a natural human defense is anger.

Also, maybe he's just changing his mind a lot about you. Maybe he was pissed at you then, but changed his mind now.

Well I didnt reject him at all. I went into hospital for bipolar for awhile then he stopped talking to me for six months, then we started talking again. He wouldnt see me by himself for awhile then he recently he has started to want to see him on his own.

He definitely seems to like you, but he also sounds like an immature tool. When I read the OP, I literally had in mind a 14 year old boy. I wouldn't waste my time on him until he grows up and acts his age instead of like a brain-damaged middle schooler.

He is pretty immature, he always has been. So, I shouldn't talk to him anymore?

Well, what I have learned is that life is too short to allow people to cause you stress. If that's all they ever do, they don't deserve to be in your life. I had to do some spring cleaning of my friends last year, and since I stopped talking to the drama queens and the scene-makers, I'm a much happier, more relaxed person.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, though. I try to stay away from that. I give advice and inform, but never purposefully dictate another's path.

I appreciate your advice. I really do and it does makes sense as well. I've kinda gotten attached to him so it will be hard not talking to him.

Well, you could always take the direct route and tell him he's being a douche. If he doesn't shape up or at least treat you with more respect, you gave him the chance to improve, to kick him to the curb. If he does, then you'll know he may actually care for you and it'll at least be easier to be friends.

Yeah, true. I'm really curious to know where I stand with him. He must consider me a friend atleast because he wouldnt ask if I hated him if he didn't. True? I could always ask, guess I'm just scared.

Don't be scared, I'm a really direct and blunt person and it works perfectly fine for me.

I'll see what I can do.

I once said to him don't be so mean and he said if you dont like how I treat you, dont talk to me. So I don't think he's willing to change for anyone.

What it sounds like to me is that he was scared of the fact that you were bipolar and that you went to the hospital because that's around the time when he wasn't speaking to you and/or calling you names.

He sounds like a piece of shit. Walk away and don't look back, unless you're one of those girls that likes having a welcome mat on your butt that is.

*Sighs* As much as Gary is blunt....I have to agree with him.

It sounds like he is using you, to whatever ends I'm not sure...but you are better off without a "friend" like this.

Seriously, fuck that noise. Whoever said women were complicated didn't even bother to take a look at how stupid men can be. Honestly, I wouldn't bother worrying about a guy like him. It's just time wasted.

Thanks everyone for your advice. It's really helpful.
He said to me today "How did you fit into that jumper?" I'm overweight but that was just downright nasty. And recording me and my friend on the computer.

Question: How do I break the attachment that I have to him?

You can either simply stop contacting him, refuse to talk or email him; or you can gently detach, see him less and less.

I'd recommend the abrupt way, as it sounds like he's not a very nice person. Make room for a better person in your life.

Kids will be kids, he sounds pretty immature. Tell him that when he says things like that it hurts you and you don't want to be around him if he's going to treat you like that.
And if you actually matter, he might deny it, but he'll shape up, and if he doesn't he's not worth your time at all.

And yeah, I know you're hanging out with him when you're hanging out with your other friend, but, you don't have to. you could politely talk to your friend and say that you don't really like this fellow and how he treats you.

She doesnt like how he treats her either but she still wants to see him. He acts like an ass but the first person he goes to talk about his problems in life is me and that's pissed off my friend because secretely i think she has a crush on him even though she denies it.