I had a student tell me she didn't smile in her school photos because she "left all her smiles behind in her mother's vagina"

LMAO

Any funny kid stories you have to share?

I like that kid xD

My coworker's wife and child (I think he's like ... 3 or 4?) came to eat lunch with him one day.

Kid: "You are my mommy ... and YOU are my daddy!"
Mom: "That's right, kiddo!"
Kid: "Why did you make me?"
Mom: "...We're not having this discussion right now ... eat your taco."

I usually get kids asking me why I am black.
It makes me wonder because when I was little, i never asked kids why they were white. :o

OMG what! Where would she get a phrase like that from. How do you leave something in a vagina. XD

When I used to manage a "party shop" my daughter saw this dragon bong and was like. "Mommy this vase is beautiful, but why did they put holes in them."

well...

My son once got upset because Mario and Luigi didn't wear the same colours. He was 4 at the time.

More recently, he told my daughter that "Rei is old and she needs a cane so she doesn't fall" when my daughter asked why I was using a cane after my bad hip was having issues. He's 8 and she's 6.

Right after my son said that my daughter freaked out because she didn't' want me to die because I am old. She thinks old equates to dying. I had to explain to her that it's fine and mommy isn't going to die soon.

My daughter also told me one time that she's gay and I asked her why and she said "because I like rainbows" Well okay then. We have a pretty open house hold and I have a lot of gay friends so I just laughed.

When my granddaughter was 2 years old and had just learned the "Ring Around the Rosies" song, we took her to the grocery store and she broke out into song..."Ring around the rosies, Pocket full of posies, Asses Asses, we all fall down!"
I about died from laughter...and embarrassment!

Haaahaha… that sounds like a kid who got the talk and was left traumatized.

According to the family, I am the kid saying the darnedest things.

My 3 year old 2nd cousin is apparently going to be big when he grows up. Can't fault that logic.

And not said but one of the year and 11 month (23 months old for those who just do the months until they're 2) old twins decided to eat chocolate cake with a toy digger.... I know how I'm eating cake from now on.