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Demondog5
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#1
Old 03-02-2012, 10:34 PM

[RIGHT]I dunno if this only apply to Guys but...
when you meet a Girl/Guy for the first time and you think "there quite pretty" but then you ask or find out that they have a boy/girl friend... Does that put you off talking to them or do you ask about their boyfriend/girlfriend.
/RIGHT]

Pa-chinko
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#2
Old 03-03-2012, 12:13 AM

No matter the question, it really depends on the tone and situation it's asked. You can come off as creepy, a pushover, friendly or just curious. I react differently to each.

I generally avoid people like that though. I don't like being around people who are attracted to me and I'm married.

Draciolus
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#3
Old 03-03-2012, 12:15 AM

I'll still typically talk to them, can always use more friends in this world. So it makes sense to do so.

The Real Nikki
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#4
Old 03-03-2012, 12:21 AM

Back in high school, I ran into this problem a few times. And I just did my best to avoid the guy and his girlfriend.

Now when I meet a new person, the first few minutes into the conversation I need to drop the "boyfriend" bomb on them and hope they either continue our small talk or walk off. I'd find it a little creepy if they wanted to talk about him..

Keyori
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#5
Old 03-03-2012, 12:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pa-chinko View Post
I generally avoid people like that though. I don't like being around people who are attracted to me and I'm married.
Ugh, I know what you mean. I was friends with someone who was pretty attracted to me, but for the most part he kept it under control. Until one desperate and drunk night, he groped me in a bar. My husband had a very very serious conversation with that guy :lol:

Luckily he was a mutual friend of hubby's and we were able to repair our friendship after he sobered up and could prove he would lay off.

ElysiumFate
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#6
Old 03-03-2012, 01:13 AM

When it comes to girls, I don't really care if they have a boyfriend so long as their lives don't revolve around them--those people are severely annoying to me.

When it comes to the opposite sex, I tend to be really careful with them. I don't do jealous girlfriends, and if they're single and they start professing love to me simply because I've got the right equipment, I get put off pretty easily. It might just be me, but I find it extremely difficult to be friends with the opposite sex because it feels like you always have to go through that awkward: "I like you" conversation and rejection to ever really be platonic friends. My guy friends are few and far between because of this.

Pkero
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#7
Old 03-03-2012, 08:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysiumFate View Post
When it comes to girls, I don't really care if they have a boyfriend so long as their lives don't revolve around them--those people are severely annoying to me.
This, this, and a thousand times this. And it applies to guys that live for their girlfriends, too. I love hanging out with happy couples as long as they're not clinging to each other by the face.

Liquid Diamond
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#8
Old 03-04-2012, 12:36 AM

Well it USE to be if a cute guy had a girlfriend or a wife, I would see it as a fun challenge and I'd ruin their relationship for funsies. I know when a guy is weak and even the hardest of the commited could be tempted and seduced after the right amount of time. 8 times out of 10, it worked (props to the 2 that were really in love).

Then I grew up and realized being a succubus isn't all that fun, and admitting that I have no moral compass has landed me in a lot of trouble. Now if a guy has a girlfriend, (and having been in a commited relationship of my own for a long time), its easy just to be platonic and mature. I'm only 21, but my maneating days are over. It was time to grow up and I did-- now I have NO problems having a mature friendship with any guy, cute or not, and its nice not to have to manipulate any emotions. Its just nice to kick back and chill with a different gender, girlfriend or not.

Hell, even have a double date if you want! Get to know the girlfriend, too!


[OH!! But I must say... as Elysium so very well put it... I don't like the clingers. If ALL they talk about is their significant other, I want to barf.]

ElysiumFate
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#9
Old 03-04-2012, 04:45 AM

To me it's almost like they're rubbing it in that they have a significant other, and I hate that. >.>

I'm single right now, and I'm kinda stuck that way because of how hard I have to work for school--I don't need to be hearing about your perfect boy/girlfriend. It's not so much jealousy as it is: stfu and let me study. XD But it also makes me feel as though those people don't have a life, and since I'm trying to get one through all my schooling, I don't want to listen to how you were skipping classes to get ready for a date.

Even if I am in a relationship when said irritating person comes along, them blathering on about their SO just makes me feel like they're saying theirs is better. Seriously--there are better topics.

Liquid Diamond
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#10
Old 03-04-2012, 05:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysiumFate View Post
To me it's almost like they're rubbing it in that they have a significant other, and I hate that. >.>

I'm single right now, and I'm kinda stuck that way because of how hard I have to work for school--I don't need to be hearing about your perfect boy/girlfriend. It's not so much jealousy as it is: stfu and let me study. XD But it also makes me feel as though those people don't have a life, and since I'm trying to get one through all my schooling, I don't want to listen to how you were skipping classes to get ready for a date.

Even if I am in a relationship when said irritating person comes along, them blathering on about their SO just makes me feel like they're saying theirs is better. Seriously--there are better topics.
THIS THIS THIS THIS!!! Everything about this!!!
Minus the fact that I'm not currently in school and I have a boyfriend, I find it SO obnoxious!! There is more to Diamond then her boyfriend. When I'm around my friends, its about either them or me. When my friends are around me and bf, we will do everything to make it 3 friends and NOT a couple + a third wheel.

I hate that even when I'm online, I can't escape it. Those friends that have their profiles PLASTERED in gushy crap and make out photos... I'm ashamed to say even people who graduated high school STILL DO THIS!! *ugh*

I'm so sorry for going off topic... I literally just do not enjoy the company of these people.

ElysiumFate
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#11
Old 03-04-2012, 05:27 AM

Haha, uh huh. I agree with most everything you've said. Your identity should totally include more aspects than just: "I am going out with so and so, and s/he did the most amazing/wretched thing two seconds ago."

I haven't had any trouble with people never shutting up about SOs on facebook, luckily. I'd probably block them if they did. One kissing picture every few months, sure, but ten a day? *cough*

That and being a rude ass will get you blocked from my fb.

Mystic
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#12
Old 03-05-2012, 05:21 AM

I never ask about partners when I first meet someone. It's hard to flirt with women unless I'm in a gay friendly environment so I tend to flirt a little then if they flirt back I flirt a bit more. After I get to know someone a bit then I ask about partners.

StrangeMwarn
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#13
Old 03-07-2012, 07:07 AM

I've never been in this kind of situation honestly, but i would definitely be friends with them. Then after we know each other
ask them about any of their ongoing relationships, and also that way you can comfort then if things don't end well with the other person, it's a win-win that way, right?

Dystopia
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#14
Old 03-07-2012, 08:26 AM

/shrugs

Honestly, I would go for someone with a significant other. As long as everything is in the open. And I would make the person choose between their current significant other and myself before I allowed anything to happen.

If they were meant to be, then the person will choose his current significant other. If they weren't meant to be, the person choose me. That's my reasoning. And if they weren't meant to be, then maybe we were.

I believe in pursing one's honest emotions, so as long as its done honestly and in the open. There is no "stealing" of a lover. "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

Last edited by Dystopia; 03-07-2012 at 08:28 AM..

Sun
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#15
Old 03-07-2012, 12:39 PM

The closest that i've come to this is being in love with somebody far before they got their girlfriend. After that, the 'friendship'/relationship that we had went downhill rapidly, and it was just too painful for me to be around them. Thus eventually i cut off all contact.

I only know of one person who is attracted to me, and it was massively uncomfortable being in the same place as both them and my boyfriend. Even without him i think it would have been awkward. It's something i avoid, which is a shame if you've been friends.

Mystic
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#16
Old 03-08-2012, 02:33 AM

Sun: That's what happened with me pretty much. I was dating this girl she created on me and started dating this guy, which I was fine with until he started verbally abusing her. It got worse and he started hitting her. Him and I got into a big fight and she took his side. After that I cut all contact with her because I got sick of defending someone who took the side of someone who mistreated them. Ever since then I pretty much said forget it if they have someone.

RoadToGallifrey
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#17
Old 03-10-2012, 09:51 PM

I'd still speak to them. I'd hate potentially lovely people not to speak to me just because I was in a relationship (not that it ever happens) so I typically treat others the same as I'd like to be treated. I still oggle them from afar though, trying not to be a creep.

arcticfoxxy64
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#18
Old 03-12-2012, 08:26 PM

That's happened to me a few times...

I still talk to them, but it's just harder. =/

 


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