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Donna
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Flutter.

Flutter.

Posted 07-08-2008 at 08:48 PM by Donna
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Oh. My. God.
Last night was one of the most awkward and yet fulfilling nights of my entire life. It started off just so horribly when I got home at 5 in the morning and not only was my father upset I stayed out late but when he got home from work at three in the afternoon, accused me of sleeping around and warned me not to get pregnant. ...dude...I'm not fucking around...right now. He has the most horrible timing in the entire world. And later when I talked to my mother, it seems like he told her the same story because she was talking about me and Stephen "dating" and that it's not good because he's only 17 and I'm nearly 19. -.- We aren't dating or doing anything except hanging out. I don't even stand much of a chance because my bi-curious friend is looking to try out a gay relationship. I feel like I'm in a Hoho position right now when he's talking about all these hot guys and I'm just wishing he'd shut up because I only want him to be talking about me. >[
Hahah but none the less, even though he's not interested in me [so I think...but he's been a bit suspicious not telling me some things], I still get what I want. :] Hahah, I'm so manipulative.
Which gets me back to last night when I was on the phone with him. It was getting late, around one in the morning and I decided because the last time we talked seven hours that I needed to make the most of my time. Besides, I like the sound of his voice. Somehow it got on the conversation of what I was doing and he found out. Lmao, he made fun of me because I didn't make a bunch of noise but I was like what? You WANT to hear me? It got to a point where I felt really awkward by myself so I asked him if he'd do it too. And even though I knew he didn't have to, he did anyways for me. God, I felt like such a horrible selfish friend after that. It was going really well for a while until a light turned on outside my door and my little 12 year old brother opened my door to come inside and I yelled at him to go away. That ruined the moment and we paused. We tried to start again but it we couldn't so we hung up and left each other to go finish. Dammit. Why can't I have a fucking lock on my door? Stephen said I should do it when my parents are just gone. Not like I KNEW what I was going to be doing that night. xD
I feel like we're going to be in such an awkward situation when we meet up tomorrow to hang out at the beach. I can't believe I made him do something stupid like that. >< I'm really loathing myself right now about how selfish and manipulative I am...and yet the darker side of me can't help but be pleased that he obliged. He asked after we stopped but before we hung up if we had just had phone sex. I told him no, but I didn't say why. The problem is, when you're having phone sex, you're thinking of the other person on the phone...and I doubt he was thinking of me..even if I was concentrating on him. :/

Hahah right now I'm wishing we had more options for blogs, as in who can read them. I'm not sure if I feel comfortable having the entire world read what happened to me. But then again, no one really reads my blogs, except for Seiki sometimes. XD That's good.

Okay, off to have lunch. Bye byes. Then work.
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