Stress

Lately I have been reacting with stress to everything. I have been off the chain, a loose cannon, a complete utter retard when I have been drinking. Stress has been taking over me and I just do not know how to deal with it all.

Currently I am stationed in Honduras. I am more stressed out here then I was when I was deployed to Iraq for 15 months. How does that shit work out? Well, Iraq was simple. It was a routine. Yeah, I was getting shot at and shit, but it was a routine. Here in honduras there is less of a routine.

I am studying for a promotion board. I am studying for a course I may go to soon, which from what I hear is one of the most mentally challenging courses. That will last about 30 days. I am under stress because I am trying to do my job lately but finding myself distracted. Also been under stress cause some, birth control failed, so I went into the doctor to get a test done. That was lovely.. let me tell you. Worst pain I have felt in awhile.

Been having recurring nightmares of my father dying. So, that has been a very large stress factor for me. I know I can't call every hour and see how he is doing so I am trying to call every so often and not let it show to my parents something is bothering me. They don't need to worry about me while I am out here.

Also have a bunch of out of school kids who came to us about five to six months ago. Still trying to teach them how to do the job while I am trying to learn more about the job. That and trying to push my own career forward it has just been stressful.

Then the workload I put on myself on here wasn't helping either. I noticed I was falling back in my work on here. I couldn't keep up with what was required for me. I was spending more and more time doing almost nothing, then doing something cause I was so burnt out from work. When I was doing something I was spending hours upon hours online trying to catch up. Which is why I had to step down and take a break. I cannot supply for the users in which is demanded.

--Tony--