When "Work" Inches Into Life

Over the past year I've noticed a lot of changes within myself. Perhaps one of the bigger changes has been how I've been reevaluating some of my relationships.

When I reached the end of my undergraduate studies (which included a fair amount of field experience, or actual "real life work" in the final two semesters) I realized something. I would spend the entire day essentially being in a counseling role, then I would come home and a handful of my friends would be having issues and want an open ear to listen. Incessantly. And often over the same issues, over and over again. Cue the passage of time, and I found myself severely burned down. Not burned out, just down. The negativity had begun to eat me alive.

My "work" had inched into my life to the point I couldn't escape being in a counseling role. I don't dislike the role, but I do dislike not being able to properly unwind and relax when I'm on "my" time. It's taken me a very long time not to feel selfish over this, too. Work is work and personal time should remain as such.

I've slowly been letting go of some relationships, even those I've had for nearly ten years now. When I was a teenager I found that I got a lot of positive reinforcement out of my relationships by being "the empathetic listener". I always felt useful.

However, I no longer need that reinforcement, but rather now I expect my relationships to be mutual. If I support you, I expect you to support me. And for the love of everything, don't have a freakin' crisis every other minute. We are all human and we all face difficulties. That's life. But being the constant downer isn't okay, and it's rare for a personality like that not to unintentionally push everyone else away.

I am feeling pretty secure where I am in life overall. This type of cleanse has been very healthy for me. The friends I keep closest are those I can both laugh and fall apart with when I need it. It's a great thing.