[COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"][COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"]I'd just like to die now, kthx.
I can't tell anyone, so I wrote it where no one will read it. After all, we wouldn't want to get sent back to the psych ward. That would be taking being a member of 'The Asylum' a little seriously.

But really...
[i]Why can we never go back to bed?![/i][/size][/color][/size][/color]

[COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"][COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"]#1: Alarm clock goes off. Hit the snooze button forty times before finally waking up and getting in the shower. Adjust depression level depending on how much the day's classes suck.

#2: Feel like shit. Contemplate throwing self in front of the bus instead of getting on. Go to school, sleep through first period.

#3: Deal grudgingly with second and third period. Feel slightly better than previously. Make awkward conversation with girl who used to be a friend but really have nothing in common with now at lunch.

#4: Go to fourth. Go to the light rail station, meet boyfriend (who gets brought up too often in blog; noted), possibly go fetch food before returning home.

#5: Spend time with boyfriend, possibly in the form of a nice nap. Spend an hour having an anxiety attack about homework before actually doing said homework. See boyfriend off.

#6: Use the remainder of night to do homework that didn't get done, feel depressed and hopeless about life, feel anxious about something insignificant that happened three weeks ago.

#7: For steps 1-6, add in 'have anxiety attack' before each action. If anxiety attack is already present, make it double.

#8: Repeat until thoroughly ready to step into a Jigsaw trap. Wish psychiatrist didn't suck. Write notes like Rorschach. Etc.[/size][/color][/size][/color]

[COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"]At what point are you officially considered pathetic when you check your grades, note that you have straight As, and still consider your grades unsatisfactory?
...A 91% isn't a bad grade, right? o_o

Yeah, anyway, it's 2:30 AM so I should probably get to bed now so I'll stop sleeping through Zoology.[/size][/color]

[COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"][COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"]This whole phenomenon of posting your 'first blog' is irking me. There aren't any actual blogs going up, just people saying "Hi I'm new to Mene and this is my first blog! Wow!"
I know your blog is your personal place to say whatever you want and blah blah, but isn't that a fairly pointless thing to post? Your time could be better spent writing out something I might actually like to read. Really, why would you write a blog if you don't want someone else to read it?

Moving on. I have two days of my "Landmark Education" down and one to go. I'm sure the advanced course will be shoved down my throat, because this place is a cult, and they'll try to make my mother sign up too. Sigh.

I think my major problem with it is that they're not actually offering any solutions on how to change life, just using a lot of ridiculous and fancy terms to point out the obvious. Do we really need a special term to define the problems you have with the people in your life, and if I hear the word breakthrough one more time I'm going to explode.

Today wasn't as bad as yesterday, and I can't say it was completely worthless. I've decided to attempt not to be a bitch to my sister unless she deserves it (aka stop being mean to her for no good reason at all, because it gets us nowhere) and I feel an odd urge to reassure my mother that I appreciate her. In all truthfulness, it's really not a bad thing to let her know I love her anyway. Of course, I wouldn't give the forum too much credit for these things, for those of you who may or may not think that IT RLY IS WORKING OMG.

Now, has this changed my life? Uh, no. I still have one day (and according to the idiot who talks, it's the IMPORTANT DAY) but I doubt I'll be seeing any life-changing revelations. I mean, today they tried to brainwash me and I'm feeling more skeptical than ever.

The kid who has decided to attach herself to me is getting annoying, too. She's thirteen, and a nice enough girl, but... she's thirteen. Thirteen year olds are annoying by nature. It's just... how they are. At least I'll never have to deal with her again?[/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"][COLOR=#0F8A7D][SIZE="1"]Man, today has just been a bad day.

I had to wake up this morning after one whole hour of sleep to go to this terrible Landmark Forum thing. It was ten long, long hours of sitting in an uncomfortable chair listening to someone tell me what I think. I spent most of the time there lost in my own internal monologue, because the guy we were supposed to be listening to was intensely boring, narcissistic douchebag and kept on going off on unrelated tangents about the navy. This is possibly the most boring thing I've ever had to do.

These people sit down ~90 teenagers for four hours, only allowing for a 30 second stretch break (literally, we weren't even allowed to walk around), and then have the balls get upset when they start talking to each other? What the hell were you expecting?! This isn't even remotely interesting! And why do we only get two breaks throughout the whole ten hour segment anyway? That's just ridiculous. Better yet, why is a "stretch break" only five seconds long and doesn't allow for any actual stretching?

It is expressly banned for me to do anything but sit and listen to this guy. I'm actually really tempted to bring a sketchbook because I'm sure I could concentrate better on what the hell he was saying if I were doodling. Otherwise I... space out, for lack of better terms.

And I have two more days of this. My grandmother actually paid $400 so I would have to do this. This is... ugh, this is terrible! I even have homework. :\


There is also a fly in my room, and I can't get it out. Oh, and my little bed cover thing needs to be washed but I won't get around to it because I'm already washing my sheet-comforter and my actual comforter. I don't feel like staying awake for this thing to go through the washer too.

Fuck this, I want to go to bed.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR]