So the semester is almost over. Yesterday was the last day of regular classes. Next week I have finals and the end of this semester. I’m so relieved about that. I’ve been burning myself out so much this semester. Yesterday I wanted to take a two hour nap and I ended up sleeping FIVE HOURS! I feel so much better though as far completing this semester.
Well it was a blow yesterday. I had made plans to hang out with my friend Sam and I ended up not going because my mom was asleep the whole afternoon. Oh well it’s not a major loss. I’ll be here an extra week instead of leaving the Saturday of finals, I might be leaving the Friday after finals week.

I decided that I want to ship out some of my stuff that MIGHT give me problems on the plane which is basically just my jewelry stuff, pliers and sculpy clay. So I’ll be shipping that out maybe next week or so because I really don’t want them to NOT let me on the plane because of strict rules of what I can and can’t bring. The rest of it would just be clothes, both my net book, big laptop and my external hard drive, then a few books, digital camera, tape recorder and I think that would be it. So its not that much. Though I will have trouble with picking which shirts of mine I want to take. I’ll be taking the only pair of wearable jeans with me and a couple pairs of shorts and capris and my swim trunks and swim top for when I want to go swimming this year lol. I wasn’t able to last year since I didn’t have a top to go swimming with.
So that’s all planned for. I also have to get my lazy butt in gear. I promised a friend that I’d write her a flash fic. Though I might see about emailing her and getting basic ideas so that it’s not so much trouble on me. Mostly because I’m feeling lazy and I need some ideas to get the creative juices flowing.
I’m also going to start looking for a female RolePlaying buddy that I can text. Ever since I blocked an ex friend for sending me clips of unwanted videos, I haven’t had any one to RP. And now it’s driving me crazy not being able to text RP anymore. So I’ll be lurking around RP sites until I can find people who’d want to text RP with me. I’m open to anything except romance unless its yaoi as per Master’s rules. Also the RPer would have to be female. But the wanting the RPer to be female is more of my choice as it’s a bit more comfortable with me.
Anyways not much else is happening. LOL. My mom got me a rubber bracelet that says TEXTAHOLIC and has a little cell phone on the other side. I told this to Master and he was like that’s adorable but its true. I can’t help it. I love texting. Psh! If it was really up to me I would only have a data and messaging plan. I hardly ever call any one anyways. It’s to the point that when I butt dial my friend Steph she thinks something horrible happened because I NEVER EVER call her. With the exception of talking with Master the rest of my calls last usually 5 minutes or less. The only thing is that the phone I have now I’ve been having so many problems with it. And I really dislike that. It bothers me that I’ve been taking pretty good care of my phone.
Well anyways I guess that’s it for now. I’ll be sure to ask my friend for permission to post her flash fic to FP, dA, MB, FF, SA, and maybe a few other writing sites. But it’s gonna be a while before that anyways since I have to write it out first lol.

I’m sure a lot of you know how much I dislike my home life. Most who haven’t read any of my blogs yet wouldn’t see why. But it’s ok. I’m sure that some of you who do know don’t really care. That’s ok too. I know that I’m not the only one who has a bad home life, but what really can you do?
I hate having to be so stressed out all the time. Worrying about if my sister is gonna do anything to the kids because she’s PMSing or just in a bad mood. Wondering if my brother is gonna scream and yell at the boys because he doesn’t want to pick up their Legos. If both my brother and sister are going to make my mom cry because they are selfish good for nothing brats that beg for money and things.
I also hate being called fat, fatso, tubby, and wide load. I hate being badgered about eating food that don’t belong to me. I hate having my brother and sister rub in how big I am. I know I am. But they don’t need to rub it in my face. I’ve even been trying to lose some of the weight but its hard. Especially when everyone complains that we eat like pigs eating only junk food yet that’s all we buy. I try to exercise but all I hear is how nasty, sweaty and smelly I am when I’m done.
School isn’t much of an improvement either as far as stress levels and the like. All I’ve been doing this semester is stressing myself to sickness. I’ve been burning myself out mentally and physically to get all the work done on time and turned in on time.

I’ve barely had any real time to have fun. There have been a few times when Steph was able to kidnap me from my homework and house life. But that only helped for so long. It really sucks living in conditions like this.
But on the bright side I’ll be done with the semester in about two more weeks. I’m so far passing my classes. Not too sure about the math class but I’m pretty sure that I’m doing at least passing.
I’m most likely going to have a lot of free time when I’m out with Master for the summer, so I’m going to try and start drawing again with the Wacom tablet Master got me a few months ago. Then I’ll be working on making things out of polymer clay and start beading as well. Hopefully I’ll also be able to blog a lot more too. Which I’ll TRY my very hardest to do daily since I’ll have so much time on my hands. Especially if I stay up past Master when he’s got work during the week.
I’m also going to try my hand at writing flash fiction of horror, supernatural , ero, and maybe a bit of fantasy (a la King Arthur/Highlander). Hopefully that will go well too.
Master and I have plans to ghost hunt on weekends so that means I’ll have to look for my battery charger for my new camera. It should be fairly easy to find since I’m pretty sure its still in the box or somewhere near. So that should be a lot of fun. I also have a tape recorder, and I’ll try and get a digital voice recorder as well. I can’t wait for that since it’s a really big thing for me. Being all sensitive to this kinda thing. But the thing is to keep an open mind and look for rational ideas first then once logic is out then I can consider things not natural to this world.

Thursday was the most horrible car ride I’ve ever had. To make a long story short and because I don’t want to go through details, basically I rode to school in a car with unbolted seats. Since the seat kept moving around the seat belt locked, when the car was accelerated the seat belt dug into my neck. When the car turned sharply the seat belt dug into my neck. When the brakes were pressed the seat belt dug into my neck. I was so worried that the seat belt was going to either cut my neck or worse. I didn’t even care if I was late for class.

Saturday was awesome. I went to the U.S.S Midway. I had a really great time except for going up and down ALL THOSE FREAKING STAIRS! That I did not like lol. I took a few pictures of parts of the ship. Didn’t really get as many as I wanted because I was trying to keep up with my mom and the boys. That also was not very fun either. But all in all it was a good time.
Then I came home and ate some bat nuggets with a moose shake that proved to be not a good idea to mix. I went with my friend Steph and went to the mall and just chilled. Then later we left the mall and went to the park for a bit. Then after having a little fun on the swings my bat nuggets and moose shake started to haunt me. It made my tummy hurt which was not fun at all.
Anyways I have just this week and then its finals week and that Saturday I’ll be leaving to Williamsport, Pa. I can’t wait. It’s been about 5 months since I’ve seen Master. Plus it’s a well deserved break for me.

So that’s about it for now. I’ll prolly update either next week and again before I leave. Or I might just leave it til before I leave too. I dunno. It depends on how I feel.

[CENTER]The souls of long ago have broken free from there eternal resting place. They seek revenge on those who have damned them. Their souls grow restless with each passing. They demand the revenge they think they so rightly deserve. They will stop at nothing to kill those responsible for their deaths. What has happened to cause such a riot among the souls? The ones they seek are long gone punished for their unforgivable crimes. Yet, these souls remain at large killing the innocent people of this world. We cannot control these souls any longer. We ask for forgiveness for we are about to commit sins. We will cast these souls out into the pit of hell where they now belong for their new found sins. We cannot allow this to continue for the safety of the world we are to watch over. Goddess, forgive me and my people. We must save the people before we are too late.
The human world was something most of us thought of only of as a dream. It was something that we were told never to touch, never to go near. It was the jewel that we were here to protect and nothing more. Those of us who had been given the privilege to go to the human world were not fooled. It was no jewel it was a corrupt world full of foolish creators. Then again, who were we to judge them? We were in fact the same only a few factors separated us from them. They were given more freedom than us and most of us envy them for that.
The Goddess had given them lives that they could live freely and we were given jobs and duties from birth. Everything we were to do was to protect that creation that is what is engraved into our minds. That was our purpose, to protect the Goddesses creations. We are the tools that are used to protect. Nothing more and nothing less, this is our job or right.
Did I hate those humans for this? No, I could not hate them for that fact. They did not choose this for us. They didn’t even know we really existed. They had tales of us, but they had no real evidence that we really existed. I cannot hate them for something they had no control over. I will protect them because they can live the life that I can only wish to live. They have the right to enjoy the life the Goddess has given them. I will do the job I was given and I will protect them until I am unable to do so.[/CENTER]

[CENTER]Can you hear them? They are screaming your name. Calling out to you; reaching out to you. They want you back, they need you back. They protest to you endlessly through the night, you cover your ears trying to hide from their cries. You scream in frustration, but their voices still carry.
You try to avoid them; you try to ignore. They always know your desires, your inner self. They prey off your sanity with no mercy. You beg, you cry no one listens to your pleas. Why must they listen to the sound of one voice? You are but one and they are many.
Enough is enough and you will not cower. You must quiet these voices that you cannot bear. They may be many, but your voice will be heard. Tame them to your liking or cage them back. But whatever you do remember one thing. These voices that you hear are thoughts in your brain. Do not worry. Do not cry. These voices cannot harm you, but they can drive you insane.
[/CENTER]

A house full of everything I could ever wish for. Rooms full of items your mind has only dreamt of. Everything was made for my pleasure, yet all it brings now is sorrow. The house is full, but the emptiness is so complete.
He is gone. I repeat to myself. I know he is gone in my mind, but my heart refuses to listen it wishes for his return. I know he is gone, yet my heart refuses to listen to the logic of my mind. I know he will never return, yet there still is hope for his return.
The empty halls echo with my past. Webs of memories waiting to be reawakened, a walk down the halls will only bring me a tear stained cheek and a head full of unwanted visions of my past. My head fills with unwanted visions of my past without a walk down the empty halls. Your always the one on my mind, but nothing good ever comes from those thoughts.
Five years have passed and you still have not returned. I still wait for you. I watch the sun slowly rise to start a new day. I want you to come home, but you will never be back. I am leaving you like you left me if you return it is your turn to wait for me. I know now that all you gave me was false happiness and a broken heart beyond repair. Your name is now unspoken. You are forgotten by everyone, but me. When your name is spoken it brings back the emptiness and the unwanted visions of my past.