[COLOR="DarkRed"][FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][CENTER]*sigh*

The prom is coming up... Next month. Tickets cost a damn 30 bucks. I only bought one.

I don't have a date... Steph is going to ask Chris (guy she's be crushing on for a while), Rae will probably get a date--somehow--and Veena can't go. Over protective dad.

And me... I am going alone. Luke is probably going with Meli or something, Zach is going with Kristen, I'm not going to bother to ask Zane and I think Kyle might be freaked out if I asked him (I went through the scenario in my head, though--it's more that I'll just blab on and on...)

I don't want to go alone Dx.

Maybe I'll ask Vic. We'll go as friends. Or if Rae doesn't find a date... Which she probably will.

*sigh*

I didn't want to go... but my mom's like "Go, you need to get out more!" so... yeah.

I'm stuck. i'm not good with asking questions.

So... might as well go alone. Dx[/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR]

[SIZE="1"]This is my all-time favorite scene in all of television. I have underlined my all-time favorite portion of this all-time favorite scene.

I would have posted some links so that you could watch it all, but unfortunately there is none . . . Sorry folks. You'll have to be satisfied with just the script unless you rent from the library or buy it yourself. [/SIZE]

[QUOTE][SIZE="1"][I][Sheridan is being held in mid-air by two tentacles of light. The tentacles are wrapped around his body.][/I]

[B]Voice:[/B] Who are you? What do you want? Who are you? What do you want? Who are you? Who are you?

[I]INT: THE SAME NETWORK OF CAVES AS BEFORE, LOCATED UNDER ZA'HA'DUM.[/I]

[I][Sheridan wakes with a start, as from a dream, we see the same figure from before sitting on a rock, watching him.][/I]

[B]Figure:[/B] You were dreaming?

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Yes

[B]Figure:[/B] About what? You're thinking about escape again, aren't you? Don't. There's no way off Za'Ha'Dum. Might as well give up, reconcile yourself as I did.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] The first obligation of a prisoner is to escape.

[B]Figure:[/B] Ah. So, if one is a prisoner of love, one must escape to solitude?; If one is a prisoner to joy, must one escape to sadness?

[I][Sheridan rises and walks across the cave][/I]

[B]Figure:[/B] I see you are still upset that I won't tell you my name, but what does it matter? If I tell you my name is Lorien, what good is that? It tells you nothing, but leaves me at a disadvantage. Words have meaning and names have power. The Universe began with a word you know. But which came first? The word, or the thought behind the word? You can't create language without thought, and you can't conceive a thought without language. So, which created the other, and thus created the Universe?

[I][Lorien sighs][/I]

No. I see you're far to wrapped up in your question

[I][Lorien rises and walks over to face Sheridan][/I]

to consider the larger issues.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] What question?

[B]Lorien: [/B]Who are you?

[B]Sheridan:[/B] How did you know about..?

[B]Lorien:[/B] It's a dangerous question, isn't it? There's never a good answer to it. I suppose that's the point. Now, what you are. That's a question I can answer, at least in your case, you're dead.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Now that's enough.

[B]Lorien:[/B] How long have you been here?

[B]Sheridan:[/B] I… don't know… a day, maybe two.

[B]Lorien:[/B] The sun has risen and set nine times. You haven't eaten, you ought to be starving. Are you hungry? Thirsty? Does blood still flow through your veins? Does it?

[I][Sheridan check his pulse, a look of horror crosses his face, and he rubs his neck][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] There's no pulse.

[B]Lorien:[/B] Because, my reluctant friend, you are quite, quite dead.

[I][Sheridan walks through the tunnels, as though searching for an exit][/I]

[B]Lorien:[/B] Nothing to say about being dead?

[B]Sheridan:[/B] It's a trick

[B]Lorien: [/B]Is it? What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?

[I][Flashback to Sheridan jumping off the ledge into the pit][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] I was falling. I fell, a long way. It seemed to go on forever.

[B]Lorien:[/B] [U]Nothing goes on forever. Not falls, not you, not I, not love, not life. Entropy consumes everything. We all hit bottom, sooner or later. Did you hit bottom?[/U]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] I[U] don't remember.[/U]

[B]Lorien:[/B] [U]There are only two possibilities. If you hit bottom, then you are dead. If you did not hit bottom, you are still falling and all this is a dream. Unless,…you're in between.[/U]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] [U]Between what?[/U]

[B]Lorien:[/B] [U]Between,… moments. When we are born we are allocated a finite number of seconds. Each tick of the clock slices off a piece of us. Tick a possibility for joy is gone. Tock, a careless word ends one path, opens another. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Always running out of time. Yours is almost used up. You are between seconds. Lost in the infinite possibilities between tick and tock. Tick, your life. Tock,… well it was a good life, but a short one. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick,…[/U]

[I][Sheridan grabs Lorien and pushes him against the wall of the cave][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] [U]How do I know you're not behind all this, huh? Just what are you up to? Who are you?[/U]

[I][Jump to Sheridan held by the two tentacles of light again][/I]

[B]Voice:[/B] [U]Who are you? What do you want?[/U]

[I][Jump back to the cave, Sheridan looks at Lorien in amazement][/I]

[B]Lorien:[/B] [U]You're closer now aren't you? Yes,… I see you are. But closer to tick or closer to tock? I don't know, only time will tell. And here,… between the moments, we have all the time in the world.[/U]

[I][Sheridan continues to explore the caves, Lorien follows him][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] This is the fire I set when I woke up down here. I've come full circle.

[B]Lorien:[/B] Don't we all?

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Look, you've been down here longer than I have.

[B]Lorien:[/B] Oh much, much longer.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Well,… there must be some way out of here.

[B]Lorien: [/B]Tick you're alive. Tock you're dead. The only way out is to surrender, to tock.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] No. No,… I can't do that. Don't you understand? There's a war on out there, if we don't do something billions of people are going to die. Now, don't you care about that?

[B]Lorien:[/B] Yes. Of course I care. It's a terrible thing when your children fight. I warned the others but they didn't listen. They never listen.

[B]Sheridan: [/B]Your… children?

[I][Sheridan approaches Lorien][/I]

[B]Lorien[/B]: Metaphorically speaking. Those who came after me. Children, younger siblings.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] How long have you been down here?

[B]Lorien:[/B] A long time. So long. I was old when the molecules of your world joined and called themselves land, and sea, and fish,… and man.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] You're one of the first ones?

[B]Lorien:[/B] No. Not one of the first ones. I am,… the first one.

[I][Sheridan looks even more shocked than before][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] You know a way out of here, don't you?

[B]Lorien:[/B] Perhaps.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Why are you still here?

[B]Lorien:[/B] I'm waiting.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] For what?

[B]Lorien:[/B] Someone to talk to. You're the first to make it this far.

[I][Sheridan nods upward][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Do they know?

[B]Lorien:[/B] Of course. That's why they come back to Za'Ha'Dum every time they are driven off. Because I'm here. They think their showing respect. They don't understand. They used to, but that was a long time ago,… a million years.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] You don't look a,…

[B]Lorien:[/B] No, I don't. Well, not at the moment.

[I][Jump to the two tentacles of light holding Sheridan][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] That was you?

[B]Lorien:[/B] Perhaps. We all have secrets, surprises. Did you know you have a vorlon inside of you? Well, a piece of one.

[I][Jump to Kosh's reflection in the mirror][/I]

[B]Kosh:[/B] If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die.

[I][Jump to Sheridan on the ledge][/I]

[B]Kosh:[/B] Jump. Jump Now!

[I][Jump back to the caves][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] Kosh.

[B]Lorien:[/B] Is that it's name? I think I met it once, long ago.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] He told me to jump. Did he know…?

[B]Lorien:[/B] That I was here? Almost certainly.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] How?

[B]Lorien: [/B]They can break off pieces of their consciousness and put it into other organisms. It allows them to travel hidden throughout the galaxy using others as their eyes and ears. Kosh is in you. And it's part of the problem. You're the other part. You're both still clinging to life, both afraid to let go. You must,… lay down the burden of life. Both of you, and surrender yourself to tock.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] I can't, the others need me.

[B]Lorien:[/B] You can't turn away from death simply because you're afraid of what might happen without you. That is not enough. You're not embracing life, you're fleeing death. And so you're caught in between, unable to go forward or backward. Your friends need what you can be when you're no longer afraid. When you know who you are and why you are and what you want. When you are no longer looking for reasons to live but can simply be.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] I can't. I don't know how to do that.

[B]Lorien:[/B] Then I can't help you. And you will be caught forever in between. You must let go. Surrender yourself to death. The death of flesh. The death of fear. Step into the abyss,… and let go.

[I][The lights in the cave dim][/I]

[B]Sheridan:[/B] It's,… getting darker.

[B]Lorien:[/B] I know. You're close friend, very close. It is easy to find something worth dying for. Do you have anything worth living for?

[B]Sheridan:[/B] I can't see you anymore.

[B]Lorien:[/B] As it should be.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] What if I fall? How… how will I know you'll catch me?

[B]Lorien:[/B] I caught you before.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] What if I die?

[B]Lorien:[/B] I cannot create life, but I can breathe on the remaining embers. It may not work.

[B]Sheridan:[/B] But I can hope.

[B]Lorien:[/B] Hope is all we have.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

This world is full of people
And you can categorize them quiet easy.

Caring/Giving
Selfish/Greedy

Sadly the number of caring, giving people, is much, much [I]smaller[/I] then that of selfish, greedy people.

Now tell me what happens when someone who all their life has been kind and giving gets ticked off with people who's vocabulary skips over these words?

Well, I say something like... A fuck-load of hate. Self justifying hate.
And yeah, it's normal for someone to hate another person, but when stuff like this happens, you begin to hate the entire [I]world[/I].

And you find selfishness and greed behind all acts of [I]kindness[/I]. Random, or not. You don't even have to think. You just [I]know [/I]the other party is being [U]selfish[/U] in some way.
Maybe not greedy. But selfish.

So you [I]hate[/I].
You just hate. You don't think, you [I]hate[/I].
Your[B] bestfriend[/B] doesn't even seem to understand. "You've had a bad day."
And then you think. A bad day. A bad week. A bad month. Year. [I][B]Life[/B][/I].
It's all bad, and you've been in [B]denial[/B]. Finally you feel your eyes are open. You see everything for what it truly is. And you continue to [I]hate[/I]. Because [I]nothing[/I] is worth [U]caring[/U] for, and no one can prove otherwise.

Husband? What's the use in caring for[I] him[/I]? So he can rub in your face that you aren't [I]perfect[/I] by bringing in other [U]women[/U].

Children? So they can suck the life out of you, the money from your bank account, then [I]abandon [/I]you, [U]leaving[/U] you in an old-folks home to [I]rot[/I] away, not coming to see you until finally you are [B][U]dead[/U][/B] and[I] rotting[/I] in your [I]grave[/I]. And only then they visit [U]once[/U], on the day anyone who knows you will be there. Lest they be [I]judged[/I] by the unjust eyes of others. Right on the head, for who they are.

Friends? What are friends if they aren't just strangers you know. Strangers after [I]everything you have[/I]. Family. Money. Job.

But maybe you care for your mother, finally. Maybe you've realized how much she's done for you all these years. But that's unlikely. Perhaps you realized, again, it was all with [I]herself[/I] in mind.

Raise the child strong, have her marry well. She [I]might[/I] not put you into an old-folks home. She might [I]actually[/I] visit your grave [I]after[/I] the funeral. She might [I]not [/I]spend her money on everything [I]but[/I] you.

[Quote][Color="Red"]I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see? It saved me and these tears are deadly. You feel that? I rip back, every time you tried to steal that. You feel bad? You feel sad? I'm sorry, hell no, fuck that![/Color][/Quote]

[Color="Blue"]You were everything to me, and I ruined it all, because I couldn't change. People can't change. You change on the outside, but when you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror, you know you are the same. You're twisted, fucked up, unwanted, unloved. And I had it all. Despite everything, I was doing okay, on the outside. I thought I could be normal, for you.[/Color]

[Quote][Color="Red"]It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you![/Color][/Quote]

[Color="Blue"]I honestly thought I could stop hurting myself, make myself good enough. All for you. And it was never enough. So I started again. Started making myself feel the pain, knowing because of your screams, that I could never be what you wanted. And I cried, the girl who stood there while her father beat her and raped her for six years, and never cried. The girl who got nine chipped teeth and multiple scars cried because she wanted to be what you wanted, and I couldn't.[/Color]

[Quote][Color="Red"]I've, Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same. I'm sorry oh. I'm sorry no. I've, been abused, I feel so used, because of you. I'm sorry oh. I'm sorry no[/Color][/Quote]

[Color="Blue"]And the pain used to help, before you. I could go to the bathroom, lock the door, and take myself from the pain inside, make it real, something to focus on. If I got upset, I'd rub my leg, make them break open, and take myself away. Why did it stop working? Why is it getting worse?[/Color]

[Quote][Color="Red"]I wish I could I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you, And told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew![/Color][/Quote]

[Color="Blue"]Don't get me wrong, I know people have had a worse life than me. But still, this is my life, it's what I have to face, everyday. How can I focus on someone else, when my life stares me in the face everyday? It's like knowing polar bears are dying because of us, but it's not us, so it's just in the back of our minds. Am I a bad person, for thinking that way? I want so badly for someone to wrap there arms around me and tell me I'm not. That I am everything to them, that I made a difference, that I'm not worthless, or disgusting. That they love me, despite my faults. And now, because of both of you [I]fucks[/I] I can't even let people in, to help me. I feel lost, shattered, and I want to let people in, let them get close and help me, want to let myself get close to them. But I can't...Can't risk the hurt. The next time I need to go to the hospital, I doubt I'll be so 'lucky'. They same the same sweet words, and seem so comforting, just like you. And the little voice in my head screams at me 'Stupid girl, you wanna fall for the tricks again? You deserve what's coming'.[/Color]

[Quote][Color="Red"]How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up. Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts![/Color][/Quote]

[Color="Blue"]Sometimes, I get to the point where I can't move, can't breath. And I just lay there, crying. and when I can move and breath, I try to run away from the pain...it just won't go away... I feel so weak. And I hate it. Hate myself. Wanna go away, but the fucking doctors just stitch me up again. It's bogus, like you were my drug, and I'm still suffering withdrawl. And then the baby. She was that important? That you couldn't be there for that? At least I know, as fucked as I am, you're right there with me.[/Color]

[Quote][Color="Red"]Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest. And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound. Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest. And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.[/Color][/Quote]

[Color="Blue"]Even if I am too afraid to stop the pot, or drinking, or even cutting, at least I know I got that over you. We are both fucked up people, who've led fucked up lives.[/Color]

[Color="DarkRed"]But at least I admit it.[/Color]

So I'm addicted to [url=www.soliaonline.com] Solia [/url] (have been for a while) and the worst thing is that when I'm in computer class and the Barricuda filter blocks it...

Grrrr... I don't even get on to play games...

So all I have is [url=www.ernya.com]Ernya [/url]and Menewsha...

*sigh*

I need to set up more private roleplays here or something. Just to keep me on this site. That and I most definitely need more gold. And I'm not playing Tetris 24/7...

*sigh*