you know what the only time ive changed was when i met her and i didnt even notice that until one of my old friends actually came up to me and said i am changing into a clone of her and you know what that opened my eyes and i said i dont want to be her i want to be me and i dont ever want to change to that person.She says she doesnt care but i know she cares and if she was a true friend she would acctually come up to me and talk to me not just send me pms and ims even tho i would still ignore her i would know that she cares to at least save this friendship.and the only reason that i said you can choose between us over your other friends is that so she can at least hang with her at least once and a while i never said that you shouldnt hang out with them i just said that just give us sometime together just the 3 of us but you know what its over i dont want to deal with this bull shit.....and who ever is reading this i want them to know how i feel.......and dont try to fix this i am better off without you!

I'm going shooopping, I'm going shooopping, I hope I have enough moooney DX lol
I need new boots because the heel of my old one broke, it moved forward when I fell out of a snowbank XD and doesn't that sound wierd. Yes, I went tobaganning the day before and everything's ALL fine, but then, walking home from school, I FALL OUT OF A SNOWBANK. like at a 45 degree angle. approximately. uurgh. and my boot breaks T_T i love those boots. And now I have to spend a million dollars (forgive the hyperbole) to buy new ones. uurgh. AND I need a new black skirt for church because mine disappeared! DX AND there was something else that I forgot, or maybe there wasn't... XD

I really had fun with my first Prom.
Its just that its kinda disappointed that I didn't win any awards xP
Anyhow that not why I'm really disappointed..... I'm disappointed about my friend, close friend actually. She is the one who asked me early in the morning if she could have a dance with me in case no guy ever ask me. I was really touch and happy.
And as expected no guy [b]asked me[/b]. I'm cool with it, but the really most sad, hurtful and disappointing part is where I asked my friend who asked me earlier to dance with her, coldly rejected me =[
She even made a face ._. like she really didn't want to be asked by a girl, a [i]close[/i] friend girl.
I though she was just tired from dancing....well that's what I though, until 10secs have past, a guy asked her and she is suddenly willing to dance like she is not tired at all ;_;

I felt like I was betrayed by her =[

Is it really that bad to be asked by a close friend to dance? A girl to girl (who are almost like sister) dance?
Is it really that humiliating?
I asked my other girl friends to dance with me and they didn't reject me. Some girls are even concern about me if I'm cool not dancing with guys. Those girls are not even my close friends but they really are kind. How come my close friend rejected me to have a dance with a guy she doesn't even like?

Did she rejected me so that she could have a dance with the other guys???:cry:

As people said you just can truly know your real friends when they help you in trouble.
And clearly I was in big trouble for being a wallflower. And those girls who are not even close to me are the most concern to help me at that time.

That's what I have learned that night.

School is going ok for me right now. Its almost been a year since my family moved up here to New York and I still have no friends outside of the web.

Currently I spent my 15th birthday with out my dad. He was deployed a week to the day before my birthday. So he is now in the middle east fighting for the United States Army.

ITs really really cold during the winter here. I have at the very least another winter here after this before we move again. Gosh moving so much I'm not surprised I have no friends. Well that and I never leave the house thanks to my homeschool education and a mom who never has the want to leave. Plus homework I can hardly keep up on. x-x

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="2"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Ugh, so my 17th birthday is on its way.
Time really goes by fast. My birthday lands the day before valentines.

I honestly don't feel any different. I guess since I've been claiming to be 17 for months now, it just doesn't matter much to me.

Im just hoping this year will go better then the last. Last year my birthday was a disaster. All I did was argue with family/loved ones.

Apparently, my boyfriend says it's going to be good this year. So I've decided to take his word for it.
(I have to be a bit more positive!)

I think he may take me out to a dinner & movie or something. Though, I want to do something new this year. I just have to find out what.

My mom insists on taking me shopping downtown for my birthday. I'm actually excited to get some new clothes. My wardrobe needs a new touch up.

Anyway, Ill be sure to post a blog on how the day actually does turn out. :P[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]