I had a long disturbing journey since the beginning of 2012 up until now.

I just want to say that I'm having trouble trusting men. Once you deal with the narcissistic predation, the lies and cheating, the manipulation and humiliation... you'll never want to try to love or trust again.

The pain was so bad that I can barely feel any sexual/romantic attraction toward men. Granted I'm bisexual (leaning toward women), but I still felt an attraction to men. Now I don't feel much of anything for them.

Its not as if I don't try to feel... there is a guy in my life who is a "fur brother" and "fox kin" to me. Before that he was a brother, father, teacher... and I feel a little bit for him, but the past reminds me that I have to be careful. It tells me not give up so much of my heart that end up where I was last time. I don't want to get tangled up with another guy just to get hurt again. So I keep my distance.

I know that is selfish, but I don't want to be in that hell filled with negative thoughts, heart pain and self-harm. It took me so long to crawl out of it... I don't want to fell back in again.

[COLOR="Blue"][FONT="Georgia"]Yeah, been away too long. Hopefully I can remember to log on once in a while and see how things go.[/FONT][/COLOR]

Artists I wish to buy from in the future:
[list][*][B]OnYourGoat:[/B]

[url]http://www.menewsha.com/forum/art/art-shops/191337-thousand-suger-stars.html[/url][/list]

So Ive been on Menewsha for about a week now. Still learning my way around but am getting used to it. The hardest part seems to be trying to find when people are online.

[CENTER][COLOR="hotPink"][SIZE="1"]It's so weird reading my old blog entries here~
The last time I posted, I mentioned a bunch of things including how I was still in high school and almost done school.

Now I am in my third year of university to become a registered nurse! o___o Isn't that crazy? I feel old~ lol xD I've worked in multiple hospitals throughout the years and I still get scared giving people their injections, IV medications, or medications in general. I'm such a scaredy-cat! The scary thing is that after I graduated after 4th year, I will get my degree (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) but I still need to write an exam in order to even get my license to be a RN ): hope I pass! Otherwise my degree will have been for nothing...

Anyway, there's not much else that has happened in the past few years!
I'll just lurk the forums again and see what has changed around here. :3 <3[/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER]