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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yup...it sounds emo...but I'm not...okay I kinda am the definition of emo cause I'm not bipolar nor do I cut myself, but my emotions get WAY outta control sometimes. I hate me for it, but that's what I get for being a water sign. CURSES! lol

Anywho...this will be where I share my thoughts cause I know no one will read them. XD <3[/FONT]

This Time I...

Posted 06-15-2008 at 11:16 AM by Teive

Song: "Gone Forever" by Three Days Grace
Color: Grey

I'm not sad, but I'm not happy either. I mean...I'm happy online. But that's about it. I put up my mask and I chat online cause I don't have a real life or real friends.
I remember what real friends are, but I haven't seen nor talked to mine in like...forever. I miss them and that makes me even more sad then normal.
I start going to school on Monday and I'm scared. Like really scared. I haven't gone to school in like three years and even then I was a loser. I just don't feel up to it anymore. I don't wanna just leave though cause I'll let myself down.
And even though my mother wont admit it, she's happy that I'm going to be going to school.
Yeah it's too far away, it's an hour and a half away, but it's free and I got in. So that's all that really matters.
But again, no friends. The only friends I do have left are too busy for me. It also doesn't help that I live far away from them. I live half an hour away. I miss them terrible, but at the moment there is nothing that I can do.
Nik is getting her own life together and I just don't think she needs me there to mess things up.
Kiwi has got somethings going on in her own life, and she doesn't want to see me or anyone, so I'll just leave her to herself.
Mango and I don't really talk much. The last time she called me I was actually really surprised to hear from her.
Missy and I don't really hang out. I've known her since we were kids, but that doesn't mean that we have to hang out....
Rach and Holly have their own lives and it's WAY different then my own...so we just don't hang, or talk, anymore.

I feel kinda left out. Everyone is moving on in life and I'm stuck at "Go". Sure they all have ups and downs but I don't have any of that. Maybe it would be better if I just left them all. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. <3 I think I'll do that. I'll just butt out. They don't need me being a bump on a log, ya know. So I'll be a ninja and watch them grow.

All the good times we all had together are gone forever...