Please Stop

Please stop telling me I'm strong. I don't feel it, in fact this has to be one of the worst experiences of my life. I just want to constantly cry and I wonder how my life has gotten this way.

Please stop telling me to just hold on, I know that is what i need to do, telling me this again just reminds me again of the situation at hand. I need I need to tough through it, I know that if I can make it, I can do my dream. But right now it just seems hopeless and your reminder of it just kicks me again.

Please stop telling me it will be over soon. While in grand scheme of things it may not be, but having to live every day like this is something different. Not knowing where I am going to sleep, not knowing where i am going once buses stop running is a giant stresser and depresser, it makes me want to walk into on coming traffic on a freeway. It won't be over soon enough.

I rather hate being homeless, but i can deal. But the thing I hate the most right now is being lied to by a friend. Someone who I helped when he was down, someone I helped take care of with nothing expected in return, someone whose cat I took in for almost a year and with no monetary help from them, someone who I let crash at my house for almost 2 weeks with all the apartment stuff, someone who told me they were repaying that favor by letting me crash with them for sometime, instead you pull the rug from under me and redact what you said very last minute. And now, I am pulling an all nighter, just to get a few hours sleep on a couch at school. I hope you never ask me for a favor again, you can rot.