I feel like I'm loosing everyone

[COLOR="Indigo"]ranting
'cos I've posted on the advice board on the website I trust most. and I post too much on the life issues board here, and I don't really want advice, I just want to rant, and my blog tends to get over run by spam from this girl who I annoyed by breaking up with her friend =\

Starts off
My best friend Amy, no longer my best friend, but still friends, we're just drifting apart.
She's going off to Uni next year, whilst I'm staying here to do an art foundation course.
She's got a boyfriend with a motorbike, now she wants one and she's in with all his biker mates now, so she's really just fizzled off...

Next, my friend Steph moved to Canada 'cos she can't stand to live with her mum anymore, which is fair enough, her mum is rather insane.
but she stopped coming to lessons for about 2 months and then just jetted off to Canada without a goodbye, so I really miss her, she was the only person I felt actually understood me.

The day after Steph left, my friend Rhianydd's annoyed with me 'cos I snapped after she was giving Dan sweets through-out the lessons right infront of me. I know I shouldn't have snapped, but I was really upset about Steph and my mum had gone to hospital the day before aswell.

Today, I didn't get any icecream out for anyone, not even myself, Dad has a go at me, then has a go at mum which now means that mum isn't talking to me because I made dad yell at her.

I don't have many friends, I'm so shy It's stupid.
People have a go at me, saying I should be more outgoing, but I just can't be, and they don't seem to get that.

Now I have no one I can talk to, let alone anyone to hang out with me or talk to.

I'm the Freak of school so I can't make new friends that well.

Just... I feel so alone now, and I hate it

on the plus side, I don't have to buy any christmas presents this year... but that's not a plus... I like getting people gifts...[/COLOR]