scambled mess of college essay thoughts

My name is Abigail ***, I am 17 years young. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and age into an adult, but I hope to be [I]something[/I]. I aspire to something greater, though I do not even know what that is yet. Maybe it is my life, and my story that has made me feel the need to do that, or maybe it's just something that is me, predetermined. I do not know. My life, itself, has been a confusing, painful, horrible, yet...inspiring? experience so far. Honestly, I could do without a lot of things that have happened, but I doubt I would still be the 'me' that I am today, without it all.

While I don’t want my tragedies to define me, I feel that they have greatly influenced the person that I am. I am not perfect, and will never claim to be, but each and every day, I still get up, go to school, and do what I have to do to get through each and every day.


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update!

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My name is Abigail *, I am 17 years young. I don't know what I want to be

when I grow up, and age into an adult, but I hope to be something. I aspire to something

greater, though I do not even know what that means yet. Maybe it is my life, and my story

that has made me feel the need to do that, or maybe it's just something that is me,

predetermined. I do not know. My life, itself, has been a confusing, painful, horrible,

yet...inspiring, experience so far. Honestly, I could do without a lot of things that have

happened, but I doubt I would still be the 'me' that I am today, without it all happening.

During the course of my life so far, I have experienced the deaths of people close

to me, including both my mother, and my father. My father passed away, from cancer, when I

was only twelve, which completely devasted me. I was very close to my father, he meant a lot

to me. He was strict, sometimes too much, he was also proud, and sometimes that got in the

way of things. But he was my father, and I loved him, because he wasn't always a mean dad,

he could also be really funny, and really great. When I was little, he would carry me around

on his shoulders, and throw me up into the air and catch me, and at night he would tuck me

into bed nice and tight. To be honest, my mother's death was less devastating to me, maybe

because she and I didn't get along, or maybe I was numbed to it because of the previous loss

of my father. My mother passed away, also from cancer when I was 14, at the end of my

freshman year. It had already been a tough year for me, I struggled in school, with friends,

and with my mother, too. Our relationship was strained, we fought all the time, it hurt, it

really did. She was my mother, and I felt she just didn't understand, or maybe she did, but

she didn't want to accept it? Maybe it's just that way with every teenage girl and her

mother (I'm told it is). But things were agonizing at home. It was a challenge. And then, in

the end, my mother and I never resolved our problems, and I regret that.


*** conclusion? (below)

I consider myself a unique individual, with a very unique life, and a very unique situation.

While I don’t want my tragedies to define me, I feel that they have greatly influenced the

person that I am. I am not perfect, and will never claim to be, but each and every day, I

still get up, go to school, and do what I have to do to get through each and every day. Yes,

there are times I want to give up, but I always pull through in the end.