Why do i wear black? its actually quite a common question.
i give a common answer
but its not the truth
im mourning for society
and what it has become
im mourning for whats happening
and what else is to come
i can not help but to be sad
when i see what kind of world i live in
its like a funeral everyday
a funeral of individuality, fun, love, and carelessness
i cant control you nor can you control me.
i wish i could control you for just one minute
so you could see what i see.
a world full of disrespect
hate and greed
a world where nothing matters
but your slyness and rank.
a world where people dont want to know about things
unless those things will make them rich
a world full of drug abuse
lies and disease.
a world where people are starving
while others own four private jets
a world that isnt fair
not ever, or at lest not yet.
if people could see what i see
theyd wear all black, too
because im in mourning
its all i can really do.
i see the despair
and disinigrating hope.
i see the libel and slander
i see young people croak.
i know the world is bright and cheerful
but what message does that send?
that hate, loathe, and destruction
is what we love in the end?
i mourn today for all of those who ever lost themselves
and i mourn forever just because
i know things will never change.

So, basically it scares me to death that god might actually be speaking through me when i do my bible lessons. I wont know anything hardly about something then ill open my bible randomly pick a verse that speaks to me and teach it to my family (they chose me because i understand it better) but i will go into the lesson unprepared not knowing anything then ill read the verses out loud and all of a sudden i know all this stuff about it and i give this amazing lesson and i really think its god speaking through me... its kind of scary but amazing. However, i am a woman so i cant really do anything about it at my church unless i wish to be a sunday school teacher for little kids but i feel i should do so much more with my gift. and even then they will make me be rebaptized because my church is particular about stuff and i dunno, i don't want to be rebaptized because i feel that is making me non-valid in my faith up until now.