A total loser blog.

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God. First and foremost, I want to send a big sorry out to ignoring you all. My friends have been stealing me away lately away from my computer. I haven't been able to talk to Seiki in forever and I miss talking to him, and haven't updated PM in a while.
Right now, I'm totally out of it.
Today [err...yesterday] was fun up until the end when I started trippin over one of my good friends and I came home and broke down. I don't want to seem totally desperate and it's not the first time I've liked him but I felt like it was the wrong time. He and my other friends could kind of tell something was up with me...I don't hide my emotions too well. But I was so glad I kept from crying because when I got home and went to the bathroom, after crying [and during] I saw my face which looked like the SHITTIEST I've ever seen in my entire life, no joke.
I slept through the fireworks of the day in the comfort of my own bed and depression.
The sad thing is, I can't tell anyone about how I'm feeling now, least of all my one friend. I mean, I wanted there to be something, and there were so many times I thought of doing something but pulled back because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and I guess it's better this way.
And I find it almost HILARIOUS that in our 2 girl, 2 guy group that the other girl is falling for the other guy! XD;;
Well, she likes other guys more but said she kinda liked him too so I'm like hmm... I dunno.

Whatever.
I think I'm just being moody and pmsing or whatever. xP
Why the hell am I writing all this.
I hope nobody bothers reading all this crap.


Oh yeah.
Hope you all had a good 4th of July.
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