Struggling with life lately, for the past 6 months to be exact, maybe longer, but October is when the headaches started...

I have no idea what my outlook on life is anymore, one minute I'm on top of the world, the next I'm comptemplating suicide. I know why this is happening...I'm bipolar. I want help, believe me when I say that. But where can I turn, who can I turn to? My dad doesn't believe in ADD, OCD, ADHD, or Bipolar, just my luck. My mom, well let's just say she doesn't have the money to help me out. I know how this will end for me, sleeping pills and a whole lot of them. I'm done hoping for the better, keeping faith, and taking the crap life throws at me.

I pray that I'm slowing dieing from something. I have headaches all the time and I don't why, I'm tired all day and then restless at night. I read about drugs that are easy to OD on, and think "Where do I get this?" I walked on the thawing ice bare footed after having Gastroenteritis, with hopes of getting pneomonia.

The one wish I've always made was "I wanna die" same wish for so long, even when I little.

I DO want help here, I DO wanna take control of my life, I do wanna live to see tomorrow, I DO wanna give the world a genuine smile, I DO wanna give this life my all...

...I just need some help, I can't do it all by myself