I hate going to sleep.

[COLOR="YellowGreen"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Before I get into my rant about sleep...

So, we've found a place that is renting [even before our move out date]. It's [or let's say, the model] apartment is really really really nice, the office staff seems nice, the area is quiet, and in an 'ideal' part of town. The rent is $544 a month [no utilities include, but fully furnished -appliance wise- and has a full size washer and dryer in unit] [We'll also have a wood burning fireplace], and it's 730 square feet, that's 200 + more square feet than the apartment we are in now, and less than $100 more than we are paying now.

Sounds perfect, right?

;| Reading the online reviews, makes the place sound like complete hell. 23 reviews, majority bad, and all [mostly] consistent.

I mean, the bad parking we can deal with, noise.. we can deal, but leaky fridges, running toilets, [and maintenance taking forever and a day to fix anything], the nightly 'patrol' never seen, cars broken into [can happen anywhere, but um, the patrol actually being existent would be nice, ya know?], and the shitty shitty pot hole ridden parking lot? Um, I have reservations about that, oh and not too mention the horror stories we've heard about the leasing company, oy don't get me started about that.

I think we'll end up doing a six month lease, if it's as bad as everyone says, we'll use the six months to find a better place [even if that means paying more].

So, I am happy that I no longer have to worry about finding somewhere to live [for now], I'm still worried about the actual place.

Okay, on to my sleep rant.

For the life of me, I could not get to sleep last [this] night. I would lay down, and toss and turn, wide awake.

so I'd come into the living room, and get online. 10-15 minutes later, I'd be pass out tired. I'd go lay down, and immediately, I'd be wide awake again. I would lay down for 30 minutes or so, to see if I'd fall asleep, and I ended up doing what I always do when I don't fall asleep quickly...

I think about irrational [yet plausible] fears.

My death, Valik's death, nothing but worry, 'what would happen if this happened, or this?' 'I don't want to die.' 'I don't want to live forever, I just don't want to end up rotting, the actual act of dieing I don't mind.. it's what happens after, I can romanticize it all I want [my body returning to the earth, feeding the soil, growing the grass, that feeds animals, etc], but yeah.. my skin will fall from my bones as bugs eat away at me, doesn't sound like a picnic.' and my head conversation would go on and on.

No more Bailey's and Coffee for me when in the middle of the night.[/FONT][/COLOR]