[SIZE="2"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][CENTER][QUOTE=Clair Voyant]There once was a young girl named Heather, who loved to write and give to others. She as a pleasent, smart young girl, and had very great friends. One day, Heather was brutialy betrayed and lost a very good best friend. She was devasted, and it didn't take long for her grief to turn to depression. She tried to stay confident, but when none of her other friends stepped up to help her through her grieving, she only hurt more. The only thing that kept Heather going, was her dear friend, Russell and his shop. Every afternoon, Heather would run to the shop so that she could speak with Russell. Russell understood that Heather was sad, and told her that she might be able to move on if she found herself someone who loved her. Heather didn't know who that could be, though.
One day, Heather went to the shop to find Russell with someone new. A young man with dark hair and green-blue eyes. His name was Keith. As time went on, Heather continued to live her life as she had been; full of grief and suffering, until one day, Keith gave her a story.
"I know you like to write," he said. "So, I wrote this for you... maybe you could tell me what you think?" Heather read the story. It was about a girl who was very depressed and a young man who had fallen in love with her. Heather knew that Keith was talking about her. Soon after that, the two became very close friends, and not too long after, started dating. Heather had found someone who loved her, and her grief wasn't nearly as strong.
The end.[/QUOTE]

I give all credit to Clair Voyant, for sharing this short story that has brought a new light to my eyes. It meant so much to me that she would write me a story, it means even more to me now that she shared something that touched me so deeply.[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE]

I came to the conclusion a few nights back that husband, during a big fight (we rarely fight, so when we do, it's a good one), was correct.

I fear pain. I stop doing things as soon as they become painful.

I guess the question becomes how to stop doing that.

[B][COLOR="Red"]I didn't know this site had blogs. This is pretty nice.... Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to write here... I've been addicted to the Space Invaders game on here, it's pretty sad... Snake is pretty fun.

Wow, I'm posting way to many "..."'s. I need to stop that, but thats what I do when I don't know what I'm saying.

Anyways I think I'm going to go after a top from hell, a bustier of the betrayed love, and starlit roman sandals.... It's taking me a long while though. Oh well...

:heart: Ra
[RIGHT]:sleep: I'mma go sleep now[/RIGHT][/COLOR][/B]

[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/xsnwp.png[/IMG]
[SIZE="5"]これは実際には何のインスピレーションされています。[/size]
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVRn5lYk0_U[/YOUTUBE]


アート：メイン
Art by: Me.

[SIZE="1"]I feel like I've missed two years of my life.
Why? Because I spent two years in and out of the hospital. I'm doing better now, I had brain surgery in Oct '08.

During those two years my "friends" were out getting their drivers license, having their first kiss, going through boyfriends like tissues, going to prom-- basically having a normal teenage experience while I was stuck in a hospital bed. Alone. With wires going into my brain and IVs stuck all over my arms.

I say "friends" because they basically ditched me. Besides one get well card, a few text messages, and even fewer phone calls, they have stopped all contact with me.

I only talk to one friend now. Just one, and she lives down the street from me.

After much thought I have decided I am not mad at them. They were never good friends in the first place, and teenagers are very self absorbed. I should not expect them to care for me.

When ever I go on my myspace or facebook page and I see their pictures... I can't help but feel as if I've missed out on the main experiences most of my peers have had.

I feel selfish that I feel this way. After all, I'm alive, I'm not going blind anymore, I'm getting better slowly... shouldn't that be enough for me? Or do I have a right to feel a little bit sad?

Just once I wish I could care about myself and be a little selfish.


I'm blessed, I have a wonderful life. I have clothes, food, electricity, a home, good parents... but I still feel alone.

It's this aching feeling in my arms, this hole in my stomach. Sometimes I feel so empty I think I'm hungry. So I eat and gain 10 lbs! DX

Sometimes I hate myself so much. I feel like I need to go back to rehab for my depression. But the real reason I want to go back is because I met really cool people there who understood what I was going through.

See, I'm so messed up that I WANT to go to rehab just to meet new friends. -__-

But it'd be better than feeling so alone and empty[/SIZE].