Posted 07-13-2008 at 10:49 PM by Donna (Mumble Bumble ::)
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I'm sick of pretty much everything going on in my life right now. You could say I'm at the end of an abyss.
Yesterday [technically early this morning] I wrote a poem about how I was so sorry to be doing the things I was...but right now, I feel like everyone else should be sorry. I'm fucking upset. ><
What I need most right now, is to punch out some lights. But I could do so much damage when I lose control. I don't want anyone in the hospital...well...no, I don't. But I do want to teach some asses a lesson.
How people take advantage of stoicism. It's so much easier than a flow of emotions.
God probably hates my indecisiveness right now. I told him long ago I wanted him to harden my heart and provide me with some sense of an emotionless life. He did...and then I noticed how pathetic my life was being so I begged for him to open my heart once more and now that it has, I kind of wish he hadn't since it got torn again. I never really get the time to heal so I'm drowning in a pit of torture.
[I]Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not.
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught.
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it's time to go
Curtains finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow.
And the award for the best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be
Faithful to me, let's hear your speech.
How about a round of applause?
Standing ovation.[/I]
It's been in my subconscious for a few days...and I finally realize why.
As if my real life isn't pathetic enough, I've got to come online to Project Mene and have only half of the entries turned in by the deadline. I really wanted to just kick the others out, but they should thank Seiki for convincing me to be nice. After this cycle, I'm going to take a long break from it for at least a few months, and I may or may not continue the fourth cycle, but I definitely won't for the fifth. I'll be passing it on to someone I know I can trust with it. Seeing as how I've barely the time to even update it much, I feel like I'm doing more damage than good.
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