[CENTER][B][SIZE="2"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I have a Myspace but I don't use it. I have a gaia though I do use it. So I'm more use to "journal" not a "blog".

Anyway, no one I know will read this. I'm just venting so don't be like "oh, what a horrible person! Talking crap about that person just because they won't see it..." or anything like that. It's just that its happened for a long time. People (including myself) have confronted this person about the way they act but they don't seem to do anything about it. It's just a really unnecessary attitude. I mean, it's gotta be unhealthy, it's so bad.

I'm not saying names! Well, this person is someone I call my 'sister' because we really act like sisters. We have our disagreements, we fight viciously (not physically but verbally) and it seems like we'll surely end our friendship there but then later on its like, a magnet and we become friends again until the next time. We both come to each other when we need help. And things such as that.

I know that nobody is a perfect little angel but this is really bad. Probably like, a year ago, she was going out with this guy. Things were going great between the two but at some point they ran into problems. I heard they fight sometimes, took breaks from the relationships. But by the time I heard that, they were back together. Things went down-hill from there. They started fighting almost every other day. I didn't find out until much much MUCH later that most of the fights were over me. The guy wanted to hang out with me because we were practically siblings! But she didn't like it, she got jealous when we hung out. So she forced him to NOT hang out with me. What ever other fights there were, I dunno and to hell if I even want to know!

It went too far when they fought in front of my face over that stupid reason. When they both started to cast me out of their lives, when I took the time to write a letter to the guy telling him that he's changed and I don't like it. That I still would like to talk to him because I was having guy problems. Then the next day, I find out that the girl went on his account and checked his mail and read my letter. >.> Then shortly after that, they both ganged up on me when me and the girl had a fight over the phone. I knew I was going to say something really bad so I hung up on her. Later on I get a message on gaia from the guy asking why I hung up. I explained that the next things to come out of my mouth were out of anger and were to be hurtful so I backed off before I screwed something up.

Of course he was talking to the girl on the phone at the time and most likely she twisted the story to make me look like the mad person and probably misinterpreted what I said to make me look bad because after that, he still was pissed off and kept saying that I shouldn't do that and that it wasn't a good thing and dah dah dah dah dah dah! I'm like what the hell, you've changed so much, before all this... I bet he would look at it through my eyes and see that it was good after all. He has changed a lot and not in a good way either. I started crying and told him that because of this, I was crying and then he went off calling me "emo" and laughed at me.

That was it. That was as far as I was going to go in trying for them. I was so hurt and retorted to suicidal thoughts. I wrote a suicide note and called up the guy I "loved" at the time and told him that I was so sad that I wanted to slit my throat. An hour later, I get a call from the guy I "loved" scared half way to death. I told him what happened and he basically told me to give up, give the two some space and take time to heal from such a blow.

I told my other friend, Enaj. I guess he took time to talk to the guy "brother". Because Enaj called me and said that "brother" wanted to talk to me. I refused to talk to him, I told Enaj that I didn't want to have anything to do with him. He hurt me and in a sense, I was afraid to talk to him again, afraid to get hurt again. But Enaj convinced me that he wanted to apologize that'll take a couple seconds out of my time and then I can never talk to him for as long as I live so I was like whatever then. In the mean time, brother was arguing with my friend on the phone possible over me again. Enaj gave the phone and distracted my friend on the phone while brother apologized.

He started crying because he knew he hurt me. He really was sorry. I expected a crappy apology like "oh, sorry for being mean to you and saying all that stuff to you..." then done, but no he started crying and saying that he has sinned so much and did such a horrible thing that costed him his sister (me) nearly her life. I forgave him and comforted him. I was satisfied and willing to begin a new relationship with him. It didn't begin until now. He never glanced at me nor did he say anything to me until just a little less than a month ago. Slowly I'll try to rebuild that sibling-like relationship we had a year ago.

As for my "sister", I lost trust permanently. I don't tell her any secrets, I try to avoid conversations because if I even bring up brother, she gets pissed off. I don't even know why she has such a deep hate for him. And I tend to talk about the day, and the events that took place in our group of friends when she is away at the game room or class. I don't take her word about things. Especially if its about her getting "abused" at home by her mother. I told her she should make a meeting with the teen health center but she said "no I can kinda deal with it now". Right. I'd say the closest thing to a best friend that I have right now would probably be my friend Loseli and Kasey. Thats about it.

As of that event, I've created a barrier that EVERYONE must pass before I can actually trust them. Meaning I would only talk to them or joke with them. I wouldn't tell anything else.

Well that's my ventME of the day. Even though it was a year ago. I'm not going to complain about this one person all day. Thanks for reading!! I highly doubt anyone did actually read but yeah. See ya![/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER][FONT="Lucida Console"][/FONT]

[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Aah! Pushing it with the limited battery I have left on my computer. I just wanted to say that I've had a very tiring day today and good night because I'm going to bed.

Graduation tomorrow! AAAHHH! So nervous!

<3
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Since when do we not have to pay for blogs.
Do you SEE how long it's been since I've been [email protected]@;;
Baaad SEG,
Bad, bad.

The one nice thing about logging on after an excitingly insane && lengthy A7X sabbatical,
Is coming home to Mene,
And finding all the beautiful changes that have taken place.

There is not a single thing I can complain about,
At least, not yet.
I'm still figuring things out,
BUT, seeing as how I've enjoyed everything I've run across thus far,
It's pretty safe to say that all this new stuff kicks monkeys in the pants.

Haha,
I just censored myself.
Anyway,
My props to the peeps who get stuff done around here,
This event is BY FAR my favorite,
Because now I can get clothes && not 'spend' my measly gold.
LOVE the concept...
IT'D BETTER COME BACK.<3

And, the shop keepers.
HAWT.

That's all.
I'm going to be a tad more diligent about getting my last 4 orchids before bed.

PEACE OUT
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Woot, I have 116 buds. I only need 4 more and I'll have my wings.


EDIT: Only one left:squee:


EDIT:EDIT: I got it :squee::boogie::squee::boogie::squee::boogie:
:squee::boogie::squee:

[COLOR="deepPink"][SIZE="1"]just for my own use~

Day 5
Item: Engraved Oak Orchid Shield
Orchids needed: 20

Day 6
Item: [B]Grenache Blade[/B]
Orchids needed: 20

and [B]may 2008 ci set[/B] .. x___x[/SIZE][/COLOR]