Letter to You

I got this idea from a thread in Life Issues, and I've always found that writing out my thoughts to someone is much easier than actually saying them out loud. I tend to be less emotional when I write things down. If I tried to say some of these things out loud in real life, I'd be bawling while trying to be convincing and/or honest.

I wanted to write about the subject of this blog in some fashion, but I think a letter might be best.
_______________________________________

Hey Mister!

I know you don't want to hear it, and you probably already know what I'm going to say. I've learned this in the time we've been together. You have to make your own decisions and come to things when you're ready. I know I can't push you, and so that's why I'm writing to you here instead of PMing this to you on Gaia, or even writing you an actual letter.

I'm worried about you. I wish you'd take care of yourself and go to the doctor. You need to have tests done. I know how much you value your intelligence and your mind, so I can't understand why you refuse to go.

Watching you go through what you did was one of the scariest things I've experienced in my life. I was afraid of losing you. So afraid. I don't think I really realized how important you were to me until we were sitting on the bathroom floor, embracing. You told me not to be afraid, but I couldn't (and can't) help it. Your health is as important to me as my own. I want you to live a long and happy life -- and though I'm still a tiny bit unsure, I think I want you to live it with me.

But before that can happen, things need to change. I know you're capable of it, because I've seen such great changes in you. You're not the person I met that day in the dorms, and I'm so proud of the growth I've seen in you.

Now you need to do things for your own well-being. Self-defeatism isn't a positive trait in anyone, and I want you to believe in yourself. Take care of yourself. Others can't do it for you, as much as they may want to (me included). You need to take your life and health in your own hands.

I'm always there for you if you need me. Always.

I love you. <3
Me