If you're a cranky old broad like me, there's nothin you like more than sittin back, soaking your feet and enjoying the view. Well now all you hooligans can channel your inner emperors with our brand spankin new CI. Classical columns. Fancy Floors. Beautiful basins. And a sky so serene, you'll spit! It's like havin your very own Roman bath.

I used to own a roamin' bath. One time I left the door open and the damned thing wandered off. But that's what I get for having a bathtub with feet! *cackles*