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I actualy thought it was pretty confusing. XD The story didn't really make much sence to me, and they kept on saying a lot of things over again, which got boring...
And, I hate to say this, but, I think the art quality could have been better. On some panels it looked really good, while on others, they were really lacking. I also think the charcter Tesel could have looked a bit more feminine. I thought she was a guy before Magus called her "M'Lady". Victoria also could have looked a bit more feminine. She just looked like some rich poker player to me! D= (Unless she really is and I'm not aware of it. >_> <_< ) But, just keep it up. Just work on the quality a bit more. =) Over all, I'd give it a 7/10. It wa ok, but not great, thuss far. |
I really liked the manga, but I have a question. Would it be possible to put the page count on the bottom of the manga so we don't have to scroll back up to change the pages, and maybe bold the page number we're currently on?
Other than that, I thought it was really good for a first manga. It makes me want to actually sit down and read the plot from the Halloween event. ^^ |
WOOOOW. That was very nice. :3 The artists did a FABULOUS job~!
But I do believe Vicktoria could have been a little more...pink. :3 But for Mene's first manga, its pretty awesome! It also seemed to kind of explain a bit about where Mene is kinda. :D *hugs Mene* |
Nice enough, story was a bit long winded and it could have done with some flashback images to previous events to get people on track of what was going on.
Three problems: 1) "JOIN MENEWSHA!" Being bombarded with this message on every panel wasn't too aesthetically pleasing, especially when the text and situation of the text isn't too complimentary. A little resized Menewshan logo with reduced opacity in the corner of each panel might have sufficed need be. 2) The graphics/sfx, sometimes stroking the text or doing little photoshop effects is rather tacky; or at least from my graphical view point. Perhaps rework the way the text appears and try to make it cleaner and more flowing in the way the text and other graphics/effects integrate? I found this point really let it down and made it quite bland and unappealing to look at (aside the use of virtually *no* bright colors whatsoever; what happened to Vicktoria's pink hair? It went a dull peach! ><) 3)Anyway, I did enjoy the read, but the "hay I'm going to a fashion parade/oh wait, I'm going to the festival nao" dichotomy seemed rather unnecessary, and not really important or progressive in relation to the plot. Basically, unnecessary or unrelated dialogue is in it's plentiful here; I could point out something that could be scrapped on every single page probably. And some of the dialogue is just plain cheesy -- what I can only describe it as I guess, it reminded me of watching DBZ and getting the "STAY TUNED, NEXT WEEK AN EVIL FORCE COMES AND KILLS US ALL, OHOHOHO, STAY TUNED!" voice-over at the end of each episode. It needs to be more subtle and elaborate, but concise, suitable and realistic at the same time. It seems a lot of people have had their paws on the script though. Fantastic work though yan! |
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That annoyed me too. Completely unnecessary. :( If I want that crap, I'll go pick up Shonen Jump. :roll: |
Thank you for the feedback everyone :D
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I thought that it was interesting, although I, too, was disappointed by Vicktoria's light hair. :( The Join Menewsha now thing was also really annoying. Personally, I didn't think that the plot was too long-winded. Anyways, that's all I can think of for now. Good job guys. ^^ |
that is my only negative comment is vicktoria's hair as well. the NPC's hair is pink on Mene...
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So is Li Mei's hair. :) Li Mei's hair is more vividly pink than is Vicktoria's. But I'm assuming YanYan wanted to go for a 'softer' look.
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So I'm assuming that some of the NPCs hairs weren't supposed to be exactly the same color? I admit that I don't know many of the NPCs because I haven't seen them in the forums.
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I'm guessing, Shrimp_Man! I haven't actually asked YanYan. :) I'm sure if he thinks about it, he'll reply here himself. It might help to bribe him with panty shots. XD
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Not panty shots CK, boobeh shots! Yan loves him some boobehs : )
I have no idea why the hair colors were so muted when they're much more in your face on the avatars, but I'm sure Yan had his reasons. And the text at the bottom was kind of pointless as most of it was "Join Menewsha" or something similar, and it's only being hosted on Menewsha so.. yeah. I didn't like that part, but I just ignored it ^^> |
I didn't even notice the "Join Menewsha" text line... My browser window was just long enough to show the line of page numbers and 99.8% of the comic pages, so I didn't scroll down except for that one particular reason. ;)
Hmm... He does prefer teh boobz, but seems to appreciate stealing panties and wanting to wear them on his head! XD So I think he'd like panty shots too. XD |
I loved the story and the presentation. Very very lovely. i look forward to seeing more.
A pleasant suprise and something nice to see when logging on. |
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No offence intended to any of those who worked on it.
Its cool you guys worked probably rather hard but my feebdack would be to make it more clearer and zoom out on the pictures so its clearer to see who's where. All i saw was Magnus' head XD |
I admit that there are some flaws in the manga, but as you all have said, its a good start :D
For the colors and the quality of the manga, we're still going to do our best to improve it, I almost got killed working on this project, and you guys don't even know the other stuff I went through just so I can deliver this to the community ^_^ As for the text at the bottom, I intended to upload some pages of the manga on another site, but I'm not sure if the admins would agree of it yet. So it's not really that pointless after all, eh? :D Keep posting feedback, everyone :D |
yanyan - i think you did a really good job with the comic.
the storyline was easy to understand and there were more images than text, so i'm sure that kept a lot of people interested. i think this is a 1000% improvement from the halloween event's storyline, this was a big improvement for menewsha. the only criticisms i have are that i wish the comics were smaller so we wouldn't have to scroll to see them in their entirety and i also think that next time the pages should be coded so that when you click on them it changes to the next comic page. that or there should be an option available for a timer [like 40 secs per page then it moves on to the next]. arrows on the left and right side of the image would also work, but only if the pages were made small enough to fit on the window without having to scroll. just something to make the navigation a little cleaner/easier. |
The hair color isn't that much of a problem, if you think about it... Phe thinks it makes them seem more like real people with a more natural haircolor than npc's...
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I agree, it was really interesting...but some parts were confusing. xD It was kind of sudden with all the new characters popping out... I know they're going to be shopkeepers, but yeah.. hehe.
I think yanyan did a great job with the drawings. x33 Good job~ 8D |
I love the art syle <3 It is unique and refreshing. I was excited to see the manga ^^ I have to wonder one thing though, why 'manga'? Is it because it sounds nice with the word 'menewsha' or is the creator japanese? Isn't 'manga' just the japanese word for comic? I might be mistaken, but it seems like it should be called a comic instead of a manga. It looks more like a new-age comic to me. Not the cartoon-strip kind, but the professional books you can get at bookstores. Like "Runaways". |
I thought when I left the Tokyopop forums I would get away from the whole, "is it manga if it didn't come from Japan" thing...
If the creator calls it a comic, it's a comic. If the creator calls it a manga, let them call it a manga. :P |
I would call it a manga because of the style. If you look at some of the pages, and angles of faces, they're definitely manga. There are quite a few different styles that Yan used that would definitely be referred to as manga.
The little Join Menewsha at the bottom was a little excessive, especially if only Menewshans are going to read it, but it was also easy to avoid and when I was into the story, I hardly noticed it at all. n__n |
Yes, The manga was very interesting indeed.
The art style was VERY recognisabel. ^^ |
One thing that bugged me was the dialog.
It seemed a little choppy and unnatural. The way things were worded. Like one of the first actual spoken things. "Trying to sneak behind me, huh?" That just doesn't... sound like something someone would say. I think it could have been better illustrated with just Tessel seeming more alarmed in the shot where you can see Magnus behind her (Maybe an exclamation mark over her head, or just generally looking more alarmed), and then her whipping around with her weapon out. Also, I think a few of the panels were a bit too small to properly illustrate what was going on. (The little shot showing magnus sneaking up behind Tessel looked like Tessel tripping, to me) And as other people have said, sometimes it's hard to tell who's talking, and I wish that the pink hair had been apparent. But those are all minor things. The way things were worded was the only thing that bugged me that much. It was enjoyable, and I await the next installment. ^^ |
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