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chipyun
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#1476
Old 05-13-2007, 05:59 PM

Good afternoon~ X'D<3
/loves on family > w<

swanniee
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#1477
Old 05-13-2007, 06:00 PM

chipyyy *glomps :< <333

chipyun
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#1478
Old 05-13-2007, 06:05 PM

/pets mommy * u*<3

Chroma
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#1479
Old 05-13-2007, 06:11 PM

Yaay, Happy family! X,D
-=luffluffs=- <3

chipyun
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#1480
Old 05-13-2007, 06:20 PM

= 3=!!
/loves on teatea

lilis
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#1481
Old 05-13-2007, 06:43 PM

/ninjas

i am gonna... die ;w; ;~;'''

chipyun
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#1482
Old 05-13-2007, 06:51 PM

/heals jiejie TT 3T

Chroma
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#1483
Old 05-13-2007, 06:54 PM

Lilis, WHYYY? D8!!?


Meeeeh =3=;

Can any of you give an example of when honesty is an disadvantage besides maintaining a relationship with friends/people/white lies/getting killed by giving out personal info? o.o;

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#1484
Old 05-13-2007, 07:01 PM

can you guys do me a favor? .__.;

and chroma> nope, sorry ._. i think you got them all...?

chipyun
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#1485
Old 05-13-2007, 07:02 PM

;_; I don't know what else~ Gomen > o<

What does mommy need help with? o 3o

Chroma
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#1486
Old 05-13-2007, 07:02 PM

Oh I just remembered
Saving yourself from divorce by keeping your spouses' faults to yourself LOL

Kay, I think that's enough then. :3

And sure!
What favour do you need sissy? 8DD <3

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#1487
Old 05-13-2007, 07:06 PM

Yay page 1OO~ > o<
XDDD lmao

swanniee
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#1488
Old 05-13-2007, 07:06 PM

isnt that not being honest tho? o_o

willyouguysproofreadmystorythingy? ;__;

edit: i didnt even notice ! XDD
CONGRATS CHROMA POOO <33333333333

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#1489
Old 05-13-2007, 07:07 PM

Mememe~ XD I love to proofread!

swanniee
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#1490
Old 05-13-2007, 07:09 PM

k, here goes XDDD sorry its so long ;__;



O N E * S I D E D * L O V E

Was it all just a dream? A lie? My imagination? I don't even remember exactly what happened on that day. All I knew was -- I have the pendant and it was the only proof that it happened. The day I fell in love.

12 years ago...I remember because it was the last day of kindergarten. 12 years ago, he gave me this necklace. I dont know why but I'd like to think it was because we were in love. The necklace was not of very good quality. It had no jewels and it looked handmade but it was unique. There were soft strings of beautiful, brilliant red hearts attached together by a small humble clasp at the back. And on the hearts he had carved in his 6 year old handwriting "R ♥ K". Raymond loves Kimberly.

I went home that day, and treasured it. But summer came and I forgot about the pendant. It was left alone in the bottom of my dresser drawer for years. In 6th grade, we moved from California to New York and it might just be destiny that I had found the same pendant as I was packing up my belongings. I remembered what had happened and ever since then, I dreamt about him. In my imagination. he was the perfect guy, the perfect boyfriend. I became obsessed with this fake image of him. It was the one thing that kept me from commiting suicide for the past 6 years.

Life was horrible for me. I wasn't the prettiest girl...nor was I the skinniest. I was short for my age and definately considered chubby...or more like fat. I wasn't very smart either, but my family was rich. We had move to New York because my father had gotten a job at some famous company and it was easier for him to be here. I attended a private school and it was awful...the uniform was tight on me, and because it was required for all girls to wear a skirt, people laughed at my fat thighs. On the subway, people stared... At school it was the same. No one dared to make fun of me in my face because of my family's status but there were whispers. And giggles. It hurt even more. Sometimes, I really thought about commiting suicide. But my imaginary Raymond kept me from doing it. I had really thought I'd meet my imaginary Ray. I had really thought he would come and save me and we would live happily ever after.

I don't believe in coincidences. Everything has a meaning behind it, a reason, everything is planned by God. Or so I thought. I didn't know what to think after I met /him/ again -- the real Raymond from 12 years ago. It just so happened that Ray's father was the boss of my father. He had invited my family for dinner and dragged his son, Raymond along as well. We were introduced and I recognized his name. I was shocked. He was...very good looking, more than I expected. He was smart, I could tell from the way he spoke. He was almost a mirror image of my imaginary Ray. I was happy. He was going to make my life so much better...

Throughout dinner, I couldn't think straight. My whole body was shaking. I wanted to tell him, ask him if he remembers. I wanted to ask him about the pendant. I wanted to know if he remembered ME, if he loves me. I was waiting for the perfect moment. And then it came. We were done eating, and my parents were chatting with his. He looked bored and then glanced at me. I opened my mouth to speak.

Then his cellphone rang.

He picked up and said "Hey Kelly"

...I was speechless. Kelly? Who's Kelly? His girlfriend? No...it can't be. He's the kind of guy every girl would want to date but he's MINE. He's MY Raymond. I loved him for so long and I still love him...so much...

"...yeah I'm with family. Sorry I couldn't make it tonight."

Make it tonight? Make it to what? A date?

"Haha, don't be silly. I really am with family. Yeah, there is this other girl here but shes ugly. Fat too."

This other girl? Does he mean me? He called me ugly...and fat... He wasn't my imaginary Ray. He... He didn't even care I was sitting right across from him. He didn't even care I could hear him. He just said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it was...and maybe it was.

That night, I went home and got out the necklace. "R ♥ K" huh... Could it be? K was for Kelly and not for Kimberly? Could it be that he never loved me? Could it be that I wasted 12 years of my life chasing after a guy who doesn't even know who I am? Could it be...

I grasped on to the pendant and started to pluck out the hearts, the beautiful, brilliant red hearts, one by one.

He loves me.
He loves me not.
He loves me.
He loves me not.
He loves me
He loves me not.
He loves me...

He loves me not.

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#1491
Old 05-13-2007, 07:09 PM

Yup in this case, dishonesty serves as a shield for your marriage falling apart
Cause if you're honest about them..Boom? So honesty=disadvantage. :3

YESYES
I'll proofread!
And it'll be like a preview to your story as well. *_______*

Whoah, pg.100. o.o;

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#1492
Old 05-13-2007, 07:12 PM

oh, i get it then XD but some couples prefers honesty? ._.

Chroma
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#1493
Old 05-13-2007, 07:27 PM

Yupyup~
Like if husband or wife cheats a lot. D:


FOMG!! <3
Your story is brilliant. *______*
Kept me reading all the way through!
Her emotions were expressed very well throughout the whole story and the organization is perfect. :3
You're also very good at setting up an atmosphere! OwO
FOMG Swanieee should become a writer. *o*
From what I can see, you're a pro at writing romance. >w<

As for proofreading stuff, some commas should be added, and some replaced with semi-colons. Maybe add in some words to make some sentences smoother. :3 And a couple of tense shifts. If you need more help, I can edit what I think on Microsoft word with a different colour or something. But yeah, after report. X,D;

And I predict that she'll suicide after this. o.o;

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#1494
Old 05-13-2007, 07:28 PM

ooh swannie story *Q* -will read later-

yes finally figured out how to make that stupid friend list @@;; now need to figure out how to do that average crap =w=;; -shot- ((plus.. ihavenoideawhatiamdoing)) T.T\

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#1495
Old 05-13-2007, 07:31 PM

;___; haahhh~
Mommy's story's so awesome andand sad ;_; omg~
/love T_T

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#1496
Old 05-13-2007, 07:34 PM

writing happy things is harder than writing sad stuff XDD

chroma>> i suck at writing XD and my grammar sucks ass. i ALWAYS tense shift lol ;_; everytime i write essays i get points off cause my sentences dont make sense gramatically, or i always switch from past to present to past |D

and thank you ;__; <3333333333333333333

it'll be awesome if you could do that *w* but you dont have to XD
and your report comes first <33333333 good luck with it XDDD

ari>> are you entering that contest? XD

chips>> writing happy things is harder than writing sad stuff XDD
and thanks ;__; <333333333

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#1497
Old 05-13-2007, 07:35 PM

Yeah~ XD True true~
I'm trying to write happy ~ DX

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#1498
Old 05-13-2007, 07:43 PM

DON'T SAY THAT
Grammar is the hardest thing in the world!
Especially on SATs

If you need help with how to separate things with a comma, feel free to ask me! I'm pretty good with that. :,D

But I have no explanation for tense shift except parallelism and consistancy. o.o;

Best of luck with your story, I'm sure you'll get like 100 or something. *___*
Seriously, It's as if it came out of a book. OwO

LOLOL
I might need proofreaders for my research paper HOWEVER It's 4 pages long (6 including annotated bibliography) So I'll just deal with the teacher's harsh critics. o.o;

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#1499
Old 05-13-2007, 07:45 PM

@swannie what contest? =3;;

swanniee
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#1500
Old 05-13-2007, 07:49 PM

gooo chips <3 post yours too after your done? XDD

chroma>> SATs..i dont even wanna think about that right now ;__;
okayy <333 thanks a bunch * u* <33333
whats parrallelism? XDD
oh and this story is for yume's vday charity contest thingy XD
and LOL its too cliched to be that good

ooh is your research paper about the honesty thing? XDD

ari>> here XD http://www.menewsha.com/viewtopic.php?t=11097

 


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