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Divine Tempest
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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05-14-2007, 01:42 AM
- Aw~
I adore the ending Chipu!!
> o<
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 01:43 AM
omg chippu is soo good with story *Q* -wants to read more-
but then i am not good with writing love stories rofl -shot- usually one end up dying or heart broken -coughspoilerfortwosided--shot--buttwosidedisnotlovestory- x'D;;
anyways... -runs-
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 01:46 AM
Hahh~ T_T /flail Thankyouthankyousomuchguys
._.~
Ilutoo mommy > o<
/snugs divine ;_;<333
Ooh I usually do that jiejie~ XD But I don't write stories. Just imagine them in my head >_>
/clings ;_;
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Divine Tempest
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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05-14-2007, 01:48 AM
- Nipoo, I changed a couple things:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Original
It only took Shane a moment to see Avice and his friends starting to gather. She took a few steps and suddenly felt a bit nervous. What would she talk to them about? Such a thought made her worry about their soon to be interaction as her feet slowed to a stop for a moment.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Edited
It only took Shane a moment to see Avice and his friends starting to gather. Their table had the most eclectic group. There was Avice of course, the school's sweetheart, a couple athletes, as well as a few childhood friends that seemed to have nothing in common with the rest.
She took a few steps and suddenly felt a bit nervous. What would she talk to them about? Such a thought made her worry about their soon to be interaction as her feet slowed to a stop for a moment.
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And
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Original
The biggest change however was the fact that Avice was no longer at their school. His father had received a large promotion which required his family to move a few cities away. She'd never been anything more than friends with him but he would never be forgotten. She realized that if he'd never run into her she might still be the same, unhappy girl she always was.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Edited
The biggest change however was the fact that Avice was no longer at their school. His father had received a large promotion which required his family to move a few cities away. They were never anything more than friends, but she cherished the time she got to spend with him. If he'd never run into her she might still be the same, unhappy girl she always was.
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Does that sound better?
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 01:50 AM
Is it okay to read your story? ^ x^;;
Are you still editing on gaia? x:
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 01:51 AM
rofl i see...... usually in my head... you dont want to know rofl -shot- ;~;
/clings
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Divine Tempest
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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05-14-2007, 01:53 AM
- I think I'm about done editing.
Though I haven't put those changes onto gaia yet.
Doing that now actually.
xD
Edit: Done. xD
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 01:55 AM
D8 I wanna knowww~ /cling
XD!! Okay<3 /runs to read
x; for mine though, is there anything I should change or it's fine as it is?
/cant see own mistakes >_>
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Divine Tempest
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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05-14-2007, 01:57 AM
- How old are the characters in Chipu's story when she got the ring?
And how old are they when they find each other again?
*curious*
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swanniee
Dead Account Holder
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05-14-2007, 01:58 AM
divvypoo: yeahyeah much better <333333*huggles
chips: i think yours is fine as it is :3 theres nothing really big that stands out to me. some parts seem a little unreal but it works out real nice because it fits your writing style and it actually enhances the story XD
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 01:59 AM
i'll just... tell you that... i like battle >>>>> love story ='D;; yes...
@divine omg i am on your love list *Q*
and i think when they got the ring, it's previous life? =shot= yes i'm too weird...
/flees
so happy friend gave me some hwk answer ;w;
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swanniee
Dead Account Holder
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05-14-2007, 02:00 AM
omg it'll be so cool if it was previous life XD!
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 02:01 AM
x: !! Um~ 13 when she got the ring~ o 3o and senior HS so... around 17-18 when they meet again. XD;;
Ooh ok~ Thank you mommy > ///<
So violent things in jiejie's head? Scary XD;;
omg yes that would work too~ D8 /fantasylove
XDDD Yay~!!
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Divine Tempest
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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05-14-2007, 02:03 AM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by swanniee
divvypoo: yeahyeah much better <333333*huggles
chips: i think yours is fine as it is :3 theres nothing really big that stands out to me. some parts seem a little unreal but it works out real nice because it fits your writing style and it actually enhances the story XD
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Okay good good *huggles*
I agree with Nipoo about Chipu's story. I do like it a lot. I don't think my entry will win the hairpin but I enjoyed writing it~ <33
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 02:05 AM
yes violent things ;w;'' -shot- ha.. -runs-
is so fantasy lover @@
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 02:12 AM
Haaah ;_; /just finished reading divvy's story
It's so cuuute * O* I really like it<3
Thank you > ///<
Ahh~ don't say that ;_; Everyone has a chance to win na~ Don't be negative ne~ > o<
XD Jiejie's so scary~<333
I like fantasy a lot too * O*
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 02:46 AM
me not scary ;w; -you havent seen scary yet- wuhahahah ... dont read two sided ch 5+ if you dont wanna see scary x'D;;
ya and magical *Q*
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 02:49 AM
I want to read! /cling * u* I love horror<3 /wiggle
8D I like it ALL<3
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 02:58 AM
x'D;;; maybe like in few years... ;w; -shot- unless you dont mind i change everything to pencil and no screen tone? owo;;;
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 03:01 AM
few years... ;_;
I dont mind I dont mind ~ !! D8 /flail
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 03:05 AM
;w;
okies that's goood =3 cuz kind getting tired of inking and screentone @@;; -shot- and too long @@
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 03:07 AM
Hahhh * AA* I want to read what happens next so bad~
/flail 8DDD
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 03:08 AM
haha i see x'D;; i am thinking of remake again @@;; but we'll see =3;;; /flaillll
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chipyun
(^._.^)ノ
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05-14-2007, 03:15 AM
Oooh * O* Yay?<3333 Only if you want to though x:
/flail with jiejie
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lilis
owo
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05-14-2007, 03:18 AM
yes i wanna x'D cuz.. some not dont like.. again -third time remake two sided- @@
anyways... sleep time now <33 /rabu night night <3
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