Spazz is out of it and really wants to get off work T_T
Spazz needs to run to walmart and may end up walking or biking there even though it's horribly dark outside...cause I can't seem to find any one with a car that can take me off base.

My SO and I are about to go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Yes, they do have food other than cheesecake, and it is rather good.

I ate there once....their plates are huge!!!!
but oh so freakin good, and their cheesecake is really good too
What's an SO? I'm confused, never heard that term before

Significant Other is what SO stands for, Spazz.

SO is short for Significant Other. It means "your other half", or whom you are dating/engaged to/married to. It's the easiest gender-neutral way to put it.

Oh
*bows head in stupidity*
I just never heard someone use that term
and awww!!!! Crow Sama's Taken *pouts*
Oh well I hope your happy with your SO Crow-Sama, I cna't hold onto a person for the life of me
nor do they wnat to stay with me long enough to call them such things, the last person I was with blammed me for playing with his emotions when all I did was be me, and it hurt to tell them that I thought of htem as nothing more than just a friend, but they wouldn't let it just be that, they wouldn't understand that I didn't have the feelings for them that I had at first imagined that I had, or rather was tryin to make myself feel for them
and then they kept asking for sex after I told them I just wanted to be friends, he wouldn't leave me alone and tore at my already topling wall of emotional strength, I had scares that I hope I never go through again and I am just starting to get over them
I hate being attacked like that, and it wasn't physicaly, this person attacked me emotionaly and in the constant fragile state I am already in it nearly destroyed me.

I am with a very beautiful person. Intelligence to rival my own, but they are quite shy but are comfortable going out and doing things with me.

I usually make an earnest attempt at scarinig people away who want to date me. I mention all of the drugs I'm on and some of my less than pleasant stories. I also have PTSD so sometimes people have acidentally triggered landmines and that tends to freak everybody out (including myself) because I don't see it coming. I have even been known to pull knives on people and such. There are quite a few barriers I have erected, but once inside it is like a labyrinth because there are so many walls due to the years of depression and mental/emotional abuse.

Perhapes I am just stupid or something is broken in me, becuase no matter how many times I get hurt, I find another person who is nice at first, but then turns out they just wanted to use me, I iwsh I could find someone willing to stay with me even though I'm obviously broken, something has to be wrong with me
im intelligent, I just can't get that across most of the time
i'm actualy pretty introverted, if that's even the right word, I hate crowds, and strangers creep me out unless I feel ok around them, but most of them just scare me, it actualy hurts that I had perhapes one person willing to love me, but they ended up leaving because they thought it was better for me to hate them then miss them
they didn't even want to try
I wasn't abused by parents or anything like that, hell my mother refused to elive anytihng was wrong with me
we moved around so much I never go to really make a deep connection with anyone
and now i'm in an area where people only look at me like I'm crazy for following what I belive. I try to pretend that I don't care what other's think but I really do, and most nights I find that it hurts to be alone, I likepeople in small groups, but I have no one out here in this area that are willing to really hang out with me
my friends are all online or in other states and I just feel so unloved


I am actualy rahter suprised that I havn't had an emotional break down to hte point that I can't get my self back up.
I try not to let things get to me, but I hate being alone, but I also don't want to be around every one....i'm not even sure if you can understand, I want people, but I don't at the same time, I hate feeling alone, but I hate being around to many people, lots of people makes me feel overwhelmed and it's rathre frustrating.

I realise that we tend to goof off quite a bit in the forums with silliness back and forth, but when someone is sharing something serious, I hope everyone will remember to respect their voice, and their pain if applicable.

It basically comes down to: my thread is a safe place to share your thoughts.

Tana/Spazz- It does sound to me like the 'foundation' of your lament is the lack of a foundation and stability. Correct me if I'm wrong. But sometimes if you can identify the root of a problem and treat that, the 'symptoms' will lessen (for a more mundane example, I take pain and anti anxiety medication before going to bed instead of 'knock out sleep pills' because pain and racing thoughts are what keep me up).

It is, I lack stability that I so desperately want, and every time I get some semblance of it, someone comes into my life and tears it all down. The last person I broke up with I still think he has done something to me, certain event of that day still make me believe that he raped me in my sleep, I told my mother and all she told me was to not go to sleep with people in the room. My mother at times isn't very supportive, and or wants to believe that nothing is wrong.

No vex, it was my ex, big jerk

-flops onto thread-
I should really join some RP's Dx

I like to RP...but I don't think I'm very good at it

I love RPing, I like Yaoi best though, but I'm getting ready to go on the boat forawhile, and I'm not willing to give my boat mail to every one because I don't want everyone knowing my real name

I'm a sad sad Atollie muffin today.
How has everyone else been?

depressed to the point where I just blew my whole pay check...but I did get things that I needed too, along with sock that I wanted XD
Tana likes the socks at Hottopic

I'm addicted to it

Has Tana seen this sock website?

hello everyone! I'm Amber. How is everyone tonight? Did I hear someone mention RP's? I love RP's but I don't have time for them these days :(