-scratches Boo behind the ear-

star2000shadow: What's the good news, Star-dear? Also, may I inquire as to what you did to make yourself quite so sore? I do highly recommend Tiger Balm. That is what I use for my sore muscles. It has a pleasant scent, but be careful not to get any on your face or near your eyes.

oh its not a SORE muscle its a Open wound in my leg.. i've been fighting to get it to close for hte past four months.. its finally almost healed. basically think of hte dip an ice cream scoup makes in an untouched container of ice cream.. well if you'v eheated the scoup anywyas.. that's basically what an infection did to my leg.. the infections gone but hte muscle and tissue has had to heal starting from the bottom up..

Ouch. Well, if you were with me I would make a saline (salt water) irrigation to get out any physical 'stuff', then I have medical grade antiseptic/pre surgical wash in a small bottle and I would use that, and I have butterfly wound closures... and surgical sutures, an needle that comes in the 'camping' version of the first aid kit refills, I would sterilize the needle of course, and I would also get you to drink alcohol since I don't have any anisthetic... I have a rather extensive first aid kit.

But you did say it was more like a 'scoop', what caused that anyways, just the infection? I must be -knocks on wood- good because even though I've cut myself over 100 times and at times had dozens, plural of lacerations on me due to anxiety I have never had an infection... I sterilize my knives before and after use... and I've also just dumped full bottles of rubbing alcohol down my pock-marked back.

OCHIES.. well I'm not in the habit of getting to many wounds, jus thte ones i get.. definetly do do a number on me 'shrugs'
but so far I'm doing pretty good.. well semi good anywyas.. i have slow circulation so it takes longer for me to heal..

Between my face and my back/neck/shoulders there are nights that I have woken from non restful attempts at sleep to find myself bleeding in at least 20 different places simultaneously. I take the alcohol, my neosporin, and the spot bandages into the bathroom for about half an hour with my shirt off dealing with the damage. I think I can recall doing that in about every residence I've lived at since I've graduated from my University. It's part of my anxiety disorder. I pick. If I cut my nails deeper it's worse because then I dig all the more... without thinking about it.

I never got acne as a teenager. I suppose that is why the main ingredient in most acne medications: Salicylic Acid does absolutely NOTHING for me. I'm going on thirty and I still get the occasional lump in the middle of my forehead -_-. The best solution is to have a normal routine of using skin cleansers for oily skin etc but sometimes I have trouble eating and having clean clothes and making it to my therapist appointments -shoots self in head with hand-

i pull on my clothes.. a lot.. it annoy speople..well for one i cna't AFFORD a lot of clothes.. specially now a days i've had friend shelp me out..so i can see why they'd get upset at the tugging and pulling i do out of my own form of anxiety.. large crowds.. make me uncomfortable.. unless im near the exit or have a wall to my back..i get really tense and fiddle.. used to carrie a stuffed bear around to help.. you know.. pull on the ears.. thearms.. squezze the neck..but to many people kept making COMMENTS about it and going 'why not try something smaller' oh gee.. cause nothing SMALLER HELPS..>_< and the anxiety meds do nothing for me.. heck they actually make it worse..so i stay away from them..

-Boo wakes up with a 100 gold coin stuck in one of her ears for falling asleep on the pile of shinies-
The 237-sided dice lands on 107
-Phobos then presents Star with http://images.menewsha.com/items/thu...4a0b595661.gif Bernice's Hair to help her feel better.-

Lately we've been generous to the former whitelisted. Kind of like "New User's First Stop Memorial Day"... or something.

I have anxiety as well and I'm maxxed out on my meds for the eve. I suppose in 45 minutes time I could technically take my morning meds.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow which I know will require at the least drilling a cavity if not a root canal. On top of that beforehand I need to refuel my car which is on empty and go to the bank to get money to pay rent and make the copay at the dentist's office. I also need to not sleep through it which will be damn hard considering I've been trying to sleep for the last eight and a quarter hours.

I took a bath to help alleviate my pain but then that made the skin on the bottom of my feet soft, so I started picking at the heels of one of my feet, though not the usual one, usually the right one takes the damage, this time it is the left. I cannot stop until it is all 'even', and I eat the skin because they are like giant hangnails, and also I just took a bath so it is at least CLEAN skin. I can't stop, it's an oval in inches no matter which way you measure it. Sometimes I pull off too many layers and it bleeds and I limp for a day. I haven't encountered that problem (yet). But yes, I self-cannibalize. It's mostly because I KNOW I have to get up for something important and my sleep/wake patterns are... far from perfect, especially because last week I fell off one of my meds. I was almost back to normal, but when I have heightened anxiety like this, it throws a wrench in everything...

Thanks Birdies! I didn't mean to absorb part of the shiny pile. lol. But thanks for letting me keep it. ^_^

*huggles Star and Crow* I used to have a lot of anxiety issues and I was medicated for them for years. I went off the medicine eight years ago and have since found other coping methods. The best way I have found to fight anxiety is through prayer and reading the Bible. Matthew 6:25-34 (I think...it may be a verse or two off in either direction) is particularly helpful when I am feeling myself start to get stressed or worried. Just thought I would share. ^_^ *huggles*

I hope you make it to your appointment Crow!

Stars working on re evening her meds as well she's kinda let a few drop >_< it doesn't help she has a friend who while well meaning.. is driving her friggen nuts.. star is try ign to lose weight.. but her friend focuses on it TO MUCH making it hard for star not to ethir snack.. or get anxiety issues.. she lost htirteen pounds in tw weeks but she's unsure if she can keep that going considering the anxiety issue.. its ethir i eat somethign or i chance damageing my nails again.. not htat i have nails at the moment.. and then theres the anxiety that while i like winter winte rmeans ice.. ice means a chance of dislocateing my knee agian.. and falling on my butt to boot.. -_- ugg.. yep.. hellow feeling like im going to throw up even though i haven't eaten all day.. >_< there goes the idea of lunch..

---------- Post added 10-05-2012 at 09:44 AM ----------

aww thanks Phobos and Deimos... that was awefull sweet of you [glomp]

Thirteen pounds in two weeks is a lot, maybe even too much, starving yourself won't lead to permanent weight loss and it can impede your already difficult healing process...did your doctor approve your diet? O_o' You need to eat, just try to eat healthy and control your portions of carbs and meat (fill up on steamed or raw vegetables so you don't feel hungry all the time) and get plenty of exercise. ^_^ *huggles* Good luck with your diet. Don't let your friend pressure you. *huggles*

it was a lot.. she was happy..and it wasn't like i planned on not eating i jsut sometimes CAN'T eat my throat closes up.. especially now a days with her pressureing me.. and her 'if i could I'd lose the weight for you' bull 'sigh'. shehas no clue how damaging that is.. i tend to over eat sometimes when beyond stressed.. its so i don't damage myself.. and star does eat veggies..she perfers frozen veggies.. spinich defiently is good just takes forever to cook from frozzen can't STAAAAND it canned its so.. so.. SLIMY in the cans >_<

Star has the opposite problem that Crow has. Everyone is trying to get Crow to GAIN weight. I was born 4 lbs even, dropped to 3 lbs 2 oz before I started to gain weight and had so many electrodes hooked up to me you could barely see ME. I was also born 2 western zodiac signs early and 1 eastern zodiac sign early.

In upper elementary school when I joined chorus in fourth grade I sat in the first row (shortest) of six rows, in the group of fourth to sixth graders. All the borderline-pubescent sixth graders were in the back. When I was in sixth grade, I was still in the first row. I think in 4th grade I weighed 52 and a half lbs and in fifth I was 53. In sixth I jumped to 63. In seventh I jumped to about 75 but that's when my spine went out of wack and I had my surgery. Post surgery I lost weight and dropped back down to 70 and my mom tried to make me drink the white ensure chalk in a can stuff for old people along with real meals. I remember trying to eat a taco from taco bell once because I liked the taste but I couldn't finish it because I had been in the hospital, my stomach had shrunk, and I cried in bloody frustration.

I was about 75 again when I moved to california but then had a secondary growth spurt I suppose because I jumped up to 96 lbs and stuff during the government testing during PE.

During my college years I was always 'about' 100, usually 100 exactly. 5'0" even and 100 lbs, I was a unit of measurement. 1 [birthname] long or two and half [birthname]s heavy. The MOST I ever saw a scale weigh for me was 110... soaking wet with my trechcoat and rocks in my pockets?

After University... on my own... I lost weight. Especially after my second surgery. I think i was down to 80 or something. I've been mostly at 85 but we're trying to push me to 90.

I'm small so I don't eat alot most of the time. When I get depressed I don't eat. When I'm sleeping due to pain I don't eat. When I am dealing with PTSD I don't eat. I don't look in the mirror and say "I'm fat" nor do I ever throw up on purpose... it's just a... sad side effect from all the other junk in my life.

yeah we're definetly polar oposits.. i get depressed i lose track with how much i eat.... i also have health issues that attribute to my weight 'sigh'... im or was 475lb's then i lost 13 so im probably some where around 462lbs..I've always been big.. mostly in my youth i was like 280 to 300lbs..but with my mtoher pressureing me to lose weight, a whole school picking on me BECAUSE of my weight.. all the ups downs and side swipes we got in my elementry school life well.. it was hard.. come to find out i had some problem or other with my female part that makes us have a monthlie.. and i don't absorb insilun like i shkould.. which of corus eif its not absorbed turns to fat 'grumbles' cause as a teen ager i was active.. if i couldn't find a ride to the library, which was two miles form th ehouse, i'd walk. sure i was slow but i COULD walk two to three miles >_< I seem to lose weight if im just left alone in my apartment. i don't know if its becaus emy anxiety level drops or what.. but people are always tryign to drag me out.. 'oh you should get out and do more' 'its not good for you to be alone all the time' oi.. Then again maybe its because i drink more liquids and aint so hungery.. i can't eat breakfeast.. my throat closes up so im on a liquid breakfeast or i eat it when i should be having lunch.. i mention only eating one meal a day and people scold me going on about how that's not good for me and i should learn how to do this this and this or buy this this and this.. never mind i don't ahve the money to BUY a months worth of THAT.. it gets frustrateing i hav emy doctors telling me 'you need to lose weight' 'you should stay away from breads, grains, pastas, so forth so on' and yet the stuff that would be good for me costs to darn much.. it make sme want to scream in frustration.. because really how am i supposed to buy the things they want me to when at most that'd feed me for half the month and then i'd have no food the other half? people look at me and say 'oh you should lay off hte sweets'.. i don't buy sweets.. i can't I eat it all. as a youth i didnt' care, but now i don't buy it.. if i do its those little personal package sized thigns and then i only get one a month. i don't drink soda, well much i get one two litter at hte begining of the month and that's it. the rest of the month its milk, water, or coffee..

I am trying to lose weight as well. I was almost pushing 300 but now I am no where near that weight anymore. [yes] Although I might end up back at that point if I start slacking, so I should try to eat healthier and mainly exercise when I can. Sometimes that helps, but I have other medical issues that is putting weight on me. [:(]

i know how you feel Lizzy.. 'sigh'..it doesn't help when ones body is dictateing they gain weight..

Yeah, I might be a bit lighter if it wasn't for one medical condition... :S But I would still be over weight or something. Oh well, I'll get down to a 'healthier' weight in a little while. I am healthy but weight wise it wouldn't hurt me if I lose some pounds or more.

Definetly wouldn't hurt me.. its just taking so darn long.. though i discovered a pair of pants are so lose on me now that they are now relegated to the 'house' perminantly.. cause im just not big enough...its..kinda nice..

Yeah, I have some pants I might have to retire too. They are falling off of me. lol Only some of them can be belted on. Oh well, at least I know my size for now. Although if I buy clothes now, then when I lose weight, they won't fight and the whole cycle starts again. #_#;

Anyways I better get back to homework or attempt to do it after this role play post.

haha later Lizzy [hug]

One of you should take your weight, add it to mine, and then divide, and then we'd have two healthy people!

I'm not wearing any trousers right now. Seriously. Well I have a T-shirt, underwear, and a robe. Last night, unexpectedly one of my best friends from southern California (which for all intensive purposes I consider a separate state) left me a message saying he was in Oakland. I showered and my last pair of clean trousers was a pair of jeans that was donated to me. The length is about right but the size is "30x32" and unless I pay VERY carefull attention, after about five paces they fall down to my knees. My real jeans size is "24x30". ~_~ It is a good thing he's an old and casual friend of mine or else this could have been very awkward.

Crow needs a belt lol. ^_^'

*huggles everyone* We should make a support thread for people trying to diet and exercise. [yes]

That would be depressing thread I think.

Not is it was about supporting the effort and not about the results. *shrugs*

my friend.. she's about results.. instead of the effort its.. annoying.. and depressing. so supporting without judgeing.. would be good. 'tilts head' hey why don't you make it boo.. your all supportive and stuffers..