I think I found love. [heart] I don't know though, so we'll see what happens from there. ^_^;

Wait? What?! Don't make comments like that and disappear! What are you talking about? Like love love? I hope you did. You have me really curious now.

'peeks into thread' hey 'waves'

*hugs on Star* It's good to see you!

Sorry, I was just hanging out with a friend that might be a boyfriend. Sorry I hadn't been here for a while, just been busy taking care of family. At least this friend brighten my day yesterday. ^_^;

OOoo, that's awesome! I hope it all works out for you two. ;D

I hope so too, if not that will be okay. At least I gained a friend that won't dump me in the trash. XD!

No kidding. I'm so excited for you! I'm envious.

Kultura: sama I missed you!

Crow has been undergoing a medication change, a slow one that has been having nasty side effects. It feels like 10% of hir torso is covered with bloody wounds and every night Crow has bloody fingers... has always been unable to leave imperfections alone but was unable to tell pre the half mark if it was general anxiety or there is apparently a side effect to the new medication of rashes... and to sleep on the back is pain and therefore no sleep... and then it is spreading to places where there is almost never any wounds, like on the back of the neck where tiger balm needs to go, otherwise it stings. There is leftover hospital grade wound cleanser to use as a sort of body wash over these but it is horrid. Also Crow has 'picked' since before xe can remember and at the last doctor's appointment, the doctor said "just stop scratching' without perscribing any ointments, pills, or anything at all to help. Also there have been days where at first I cannot walk five steps without being dizzy or can do nothing but 'zone out' really right after another decrease in my old medication.

Crow doesn't fear bleeding all over the place. Due to hir anxiety xe has woken up and had to cover up 20 wounds... but these have beenhere for weeks and crow does fear infection. Also for someone who has cut themselves over 100 times and never been infected from those wounds either... because they sterilize the blade before and after. Somebody is a first-aid freak. Will even dump straight rubbing alcohol around their back and chest on a regular basis despite the pain just to keep things infection-free... -_-; But now all the alcohol is mysteriously used up!

*huggles crow-sama*
I know how you feel about the picking. I do the same thing and have lots of scars from the process.

=( Crow that doesn't sound like a good thing at all. Is there another medication the doctor could put you on that wouldn't have the same side effect?

Oh wow Crow, I am glad you do not fear what you have. I could never do that.

*huggles Crow* I hope the side effects get more bearable or they change you to a better med soon. That sounds awful.

I am still alive everyone. [heart] I hope everyone is doing well. ^_^; Whew... my roll-coaster has stopped. [:P] I am all right though for those that are concern.

I am glad you are still okay. I would be upset if you weren't.

Yeah, you and a whole line of people. [heart] Of course not a line line but a crowd of people. ^_^; **hands out the last of her Pocky**

*gasps and takes a stick* Thank you, thank you. So are you looking forward to the winter event?

Yes I am, although I hope I can post often since my family from DC will be here. [:)]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I will probably be at my grandparents.

It's amazing... I'm still the networking diety to most people but such simple things can put me off. I had gift cards to buy things food stamps couldn't (alcohol; band-aids; aleve for headaches; flintstones vitamins) and I was by customer service bending over to get out of my list and some rude old woman said 'excuse me can you move your cart' WHILE shoving it into me, keeping in mind that I have the equivalent of two metal broomsticks fused to either side of my spine hence can't absorb shock and am in chronic pain... and I collapsed to the ground, thankfully my legs just folded rather indian style and I rather glared at her for asking AND PUSHING at the same time.

My therapist called in perscription strength benydryl to help with my wounds and to try to help sleep... and I stopped taking the medication which was the cause and the wounds seem to be healing now... slowly... because I still pick like hell. I had taken a benydrl before shopping... I crashed when I got home at 5 PM and didn't wake up until 2 PM the next day and didn't know what day it was again.

I must have talked during my sleep because I tried 'talking' to my dad but couldn't. Had a nightmare about my EX ABUSIVE STEP mother and accused her of giving me nightmares that affected my functionality before. I eventually rolled out of bed free fall and yelled for my roomate's help but he didn't hear me... so I used my arms and dragged myself to my doorway and opened it and then proceeded to be out of it until he fetched my pain medicine and the leftover bottle of powerade on my nightstand.

15 minutes later I could stand I think but was still in utter disbelief about what day it was as my dreams definately were the length of about 10 feature films. The only cool one was I had a Sherlock (BBC) dream that dealt with all the major characters, from a meeting with Moriarty, running and getting shot at, ditching a gun in wet mud that would cake over... getting yelled at for grabbing the wrong thing and getting shot again becoming a parapalegic at the legs... somehow getting to 221B Baker Street, Mrs. Hudson finding me but creepy orphanage children dressed in costumes had real weapons and there was a mini war, Lestrade, Sherlock, and John Watson actually just chloroformed me and threw me aside to keep me from getting hurt further. That was the only normal dream I had. There was even a cut scene of Sherlock, watson, and Molly finding the packed sand cypher on the airport tarmac where I was with moriarty, it was like a clock, going anti-clockwise back by two.... two to die... one of the things I was supposed to give Sherlock was a miniature I O U apple on a toothpick... 'twas the size of a christmas tree ornament. I couldn't gather everything as myself and about three other people running were getting shot at, and they kept taking the good hiding places like the episode of are you afraid of the dark, the tale of old man cochran, where the kids playhide and seek in the graveyard, all the open 'graves' were taken so I had to go up on a peak and then 'disappear' behind a tree because if he just saw me go behind a tree he'd know where I was _-_;

I was afraid to take the benadryl last night and hence barely slept.

Those are some crazy dreams, when I can remember mine mine are really weird too.

That is crazy Crow. I hope you start feeling better soon.

"Crazy"? No, that was the only normal and enjoyable dream I had. Unless you're talking about my inability to sleep properly for years in a row, yes ,that is crazy. I recall during high school my father being a bit of an insomniac, too. The difference is/was, he wasn't on a medicine cabinent full of drugs.

*shakes head* I'm sorry that you can't sleep well though. I know I can't sleep great either but still it sounds like you are having a way tougher time than I am.

*showers the thread with affection* *huggles Crow* *huggles everyone else*