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GRRRRRR!GRRRRR!GROWL I GROWL FOXXI GROWLS!>:
Lexxii:So true!I tho am one of those ppl who won't change no matter what my flaw is.I don't really like changing.I hate change..well sometimes.It makes me feel old,but I don't like changing for ppl.If u don't like me the way I am and the way I was born then we gonna has problemos.xD AMG I thought that was a word when I first saw that!xDD But yeah me too.And liek everything is so inflated.Plus I poor so I lefted.xD Seiki: Oh cool!I liek u're style.May I steal?xD |
Restraint? What's that?! O_O *looks all innocent*
@Foxxi - Haha True, but living like that will never make yourself happy either. I changed for ME. Maybe it's selfish. But it's always the best reason and the most sustainable reason I think. ^^ It isn't as if I'm going to love absolutely everyone. I still bear grudges to certain people either on Mene or on Gaia. But moving past that is always the best. If you really hate someone, the best way to rub things in their faces is to become successful and build friendships while they wallow in their hatred of you. In many ways, me having a Halo now on Gaia is a middle finger to those that either disliked me for reasons I couldn't control or just plain hated me over whatever selfish reasons they had, many including jealousy and distrust. You're not poor! XD you're able to change your avatar like a ton of times a day. That to me means you're well-off enough to be awesome. :3 I will always be poor no matter the gold I have, because I can't sit still with it and buy a lot of items. I'll end up being the next Mene person with a million gold sitting around doing nothing for me. XD |
some gaian's stereotype people v/ easily =="
one called me emo because i said i was upset or somethin like that -this was like a few years ago- DUR LAFE GOES BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW DX -dies- -never saw Foxxshi's posty- AMFG I'M SEWW GUD. |
Its my style Foxxi! Promise you'll give it back when you're done? :emo:
Alexi, restraint I tell you! Restraint is the way to.. happiness xD |
LOL My brother always says that Apathy is the only reason he can live. XD
@Leafey - Ew school. D: And internet peoplez can be quite mean sometimes. |
; w; I learnt that the hard way...
I THINK I HAD SOME HOMEWORK AND I LEFT ALL MY BOOKS AT SCHOOL XD |
Some people are nice though! :3 So you can take solace in that I suppose.
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I know * O*
I found really nice people after i came back to gaia after my loooooooong hiatus from it :3 |
lol I found really bad ones. D: Not all of them are new. But a good majority are.
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Hey Alexi! How's it going tonight?
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Lexxiii:Well I mean the only thing that rly bothers me about myself is that I'm easily angered and that I'm short,but we won't get into that.>__> xD
I mean I have changed this past year actually for the worst since I've became meaner and more hateful that I used to be where I was always smilling no matter what anyone said,but I used to hold in a lot of anger wich is rly bad since when ever I was on the edge I always lashed out at the person I was angry at.I'VE BECAME A HORRIBLE PERSON!:gonk: :gonk: :gonk: Ikno,but it takes me along time to get over thing partly because I nvr really deal with them.I just let it go in a way that's it still there just not tormenting me.lol WOW THAT IS EXCELLENT ADVICE!U should become someone liek Oprah!o: xD lol well..I'M NOT POAR!WOOOOO!xD Seiki: NO!BWHA! |
I don't know how people can be permanently apathetic. Its incredible to me. I would go mad I think :yes:
Foxxi, THENUCANTHAVEIT! -hides- |
Doing great Chi, if a bit tired. XD How are you? :3
@Foxxi - lol Being annoyed that you're short makes me think of Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist. XD Yeah holding in anger is a horrible thing! D: It just makes the explosion that will eventually come even worse. I know this for a fact! I dunno how to suggest any way of dealing with it, but I found that I can mask or even ignore that anger when I do things that are constructive that I've always wanted to do. :0 Like finding music online and letting that drown out the voices that tell me to hate everyone. Or uh, shopping around for clothes! :3 Also, talking with people helps, if you have to vent to someone at least find a person that you can believe will still like you even if you vent to them privately. I'm drawing a lot now, focusing my energy on that. Or you can even do physical things to get your aggression out! I went to a rock concert and was in the mosh pit and you wouldn't believe how thrilling that was, and how exhausted I was after. XD Oh btw welcome to Alexi's walls of texts. :3 I'm famous for them. Hehe You can't be poor with that little V-day lollipop anyway. ;3 @Seiki - I think my brother is saying basically that if he let things get to him, like criticism, the fact that he has always had to chase after me in terms of popularity and school, struggling to be noticed as a unique person, break-ups, anger at messing up, anger at himself (he hates a lot of things about himself, and even hurts himself sometime by punching a wall or his own head) - all these things are reasons why apathy helps him deal with it. In many ways, I feel though that it isn't really apathy that drives him to be better than me, and in many ways he's succeeded at it. It's that competitive edge, tempered with just enough reason that even if he fails, he finds a way to get back up and try again instead of collapsing from the pressure and emotion. The reason that I'm in the situation I'm in right now is because I cared too much. When the dominos started to fall, I couldn't keep them from falling and I felt like the world was ending. In many ways, that feeling became the reason that I actually did very poorly for awhile, both in school and with my life as a whole. I'm better now. :3 I think I've learned that caring a lot about things is a good thing. But caring too much can be bad. |
I think i would to..[go mad if I was apathetic]
I had so much anger locked away in me in the beginning of Year 7 and the whole of year 6 |
Walls of text are good things. Despite rising belief, reading is good for you. :B
As for me? Doing well. I just got done playing a bit of Final Fantasy VII. I haven't played it in at least 10 years. It's a bit of nostalgia since I remember about 5% total of the plot. Heheheh. What are you up to? |
Seiki: AMGNOUDIDN'T!FOXXI EAT U NOW!o:
Lexxiiuh: lol Yeah he's awesome!Crap!I forgot to record it last night.Even tho I've seen every episode.It's still interesting and funny!xD lol I love listening to music!And singing.Even though I get all embarrassed singing in front of ppl.xD No American Idol for me!xD lol I have a vent bestii!Tell her and him everything.But the gurl makes me hate the person even more somehow.She just has that way of saying something that makes me hate the person even more.But the dude just listens and be all liek "AMG R U SRS" i love them!can't imagine my liek without my Brandi and Alex.xDD lol I see that!U're making me wall of txt.I NVR DO THIS!xD And the only one I don't have is the pin..*claws at u'res* xDD |
I get the sense that having pent-up anger is something a lot of people, if not everyone, has experienced at some point. o_o *jots down for things to think philosophically about later*
@Chi - Hehe I remember when I posted those on Gaia. Either I missed someone and they were so pissed at me just because I happened to miss them out of the ten other people I replied to, or they felt that I was writing too much for them to bother checking. Though, at the same time, I was able to make a lot of friends during those times of turmoil. :3 Ooh honestly I LOVE the story behind Final Fantasy VII, and yet I've never played it through completely. I never even played much through the first part of it - I think I only got a playstation 2 after it was out for a long time. (My family was always very frugal) I actually wrote my research paper based on Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and the way it inspired me to write about philosophical ideas, namely the meaning of life and how to deal with it. But I told you about this before. :3 So you know what I was writing. ^^ I'm uhhhh just spending some time on Mene chatting it up with people. :3 I'm thinking of taking a shower and then getting some food and drawing. But other than that, I am probably going to have to sleep early so that I can make it to class tomorrow morning at 7:30 like I've had to for the last month. EDIT @ Foxxi - XD Maybe you can win a Pin at the Giving back auctions? I don't know how they work. Though I imagine a V-day pin that's the last one would go for a lot of money! lol Yeah having ties with at least one or two people is important. ^^ But ultimately if you find ways to pass the time that makes you happy and avoid contact with people that don't make you happy enough so that you can find the good in them, it ultimately makes you a much more pleasant person to be around and a much more fulfilled person inside. :3 haha I tend to do that to people! o_o Some people find that it's annoying to write a wall of text back but I'm glad you think that it's amusing. ;3 What series were you watching that you wanted to record? o_o |
I... actually haven't seen Advent Children yet. It's on my "summer vacation" list. I figured I should play the game first. :XD I'll play Crisis Core sometime as well, and Dirge of Cerberus (no way I'll get through everything before classes pick back up in September though).
My family was frugal, but I guess when I think about it, it was out of necessity. My mother worked 2-3 jobs when my sister and I were little. By the time I was thirteen I began buying and selling online (exchanging, essentially) to make my pocket money. I bought my video games that way. :yes: I still don't know how you do the 7:30am class. I'd have to go to bed at 9pm in order to be able to do it. x_X I'd need a shower and coffee before rolling into class. |
Competition can only be so healthy. I think what you and your brother have in terms of competing to be the better person (which I think is silly because no one can be the best, but only do their best to be who they are) is kind of ironic, because in my opinion, why would you want to compare yourself to someone else? That just gives you reasons to not like yourself. I've compared myself to others for so long that I've found so many things about myself that I don't like. I've always been a very insecure person, but I don't let my insecurities change my perspective on who I am and where I'm going and what I want to achieve.
You and your brother should stop trying to be better than other people and focus on just being who you want to be. And stop competing with each other. Its not fair to each other to have that kind of tension in the relationship. I can understand about getting off track because of emotional control though. I get very attached to things very quickly. I'm a bottler myself, but I bottle for very long periods of time. I've learned to take more and more criticism internally and hold onto it for longer periods of time, but its only when I get to a certain point in my life that I can't hold back anymore. And since I'm normally such an outgoing and accepting person, its hard for me when I go off on people because I'm mean when I let it all out. Foxxi, you fail! You'll never find me! |
-stealz all your v-day itums-
WHY WAS I NOT HERE FOR THE FIRST V-DAY EVENT? WAII FOXXSHI WHYY? -sobs- |
@Seiki
Good words. (I don't mean to butt in. :sweat:) Definitely hard to do in the teen years, but it gets easier over time. I don't even recognize the person I was 6-8 years ago. |
@Chi - You should really see it, it's breathtaking. ;O Really! It is AMAZING. The storyline might not be the "best" if you've never known about FFVII at all, but if you have, it's a great story. Even if you didn't know the backstory, the sheer quality of the animation is insane. o_O; I wish I had half the artistic mind that these people do, and the crazy thing is that it was their first full-length movie. They had only done very short clips before.
Wow that's intense - my family wasn't like...starving for money, we were okay - middle class and all. But we were trying to save up money for education and it always felt like we had to skimp out on things. I aim to do better, and maybe give back something to my parents for sacrificing so much for me. @Seiki - I don't think I was very clear about me and my brother. We're like the best of friends, and we're both participants in a relationship that's been helpful to us. It isn't that I lost all my dreams and hopes due to my comparison of me and him. It was my comparison to an ideal that I never could attain, something that others had dreamt for me. In many ways, it's because of that experience that I feel closer with my brother, because he had an idea that was set for him through me. And I felt that it was never fair for either of us. But I appreciate you trying to offer advice. :) It may not apply fully, but you're right about competition. When I compare myself to others, it's not a good idea. Being true to oneself and comparing yourself to who you were before is a much more healthy way to have an element of competition. When there's a camaraderie involved, that's when it's best. Fickle competition over "who's better" is not a good thing. So I hope you understand that in many ways, I find inspiration through my brother and he's found it through me. But I'm just saying that the pressure on both of us has been dealt with in different ways. My brother realized early on that he cared too much about things and so his "admitted" escape is apathy. I didn't realize it until it was too late, and my escape is throwing myself into more things that are healthier to care about. In some ways, he does that too: he tends to overachieve in areas because of that. And though I hate to admit it, perhaps some element of "not caring" is how I deal with things too. XD |
Allleexxiiiuh:Yup!I think the last one was liek 50k..or was the the boa..I dunno!xD But it has to be the last v-day pin or I can't bid on it.Tis the rules!o:
Yeah I guess u're right.But half the time she knows the person and she usual doesn't rly like them either.I mean if she doesn't know them then she won't say anything,but when she does it like "Me:GUR I HATE HIM/HUR. Her:ME TOO LET'S KEEL THEM! Me:OK!" lolol But I usually listen to music if I can't tlk them them which is nvr so yuh.xD lol It was at first,but it's kinda fun though yanno?xD The original.I haven't watched the BrotherHood one.Is Ed and Al even in that one?o: Seiki: NO!Y U BEING HERTFUL!;---; Leafness:I SO SORRY!I GIVE U IMAGINARY V-DAY ITUMS!O: |
Oh, we never went without the essentials. There were little extra luxuries though. :yes: (Probably explains why I'm $40k in debt for college, since my husband and I are doing it alone.) I'm also with you on the giving back mentality. After grad school I should have a fairly secure job. If we continue to live modestly like we are for 10 more years, my loans would be paid off and then some.
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I've seen advent children, it made me sob a leeeetle bit but it's awesome <3
Foxxhi ;; But i want real ones -must exchange to save up some GOLDIES- |
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