Just remember your adaptability. <3 You've been through tons and come out on top.

Cole's off to his (I think last) clinical shift. It's just the baby and me. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, but she's low key tonight... just laying on the couch and chilling. I had class directly after interning tonight (and a presentation to give). To boot, my friend is having a... beyond difficult time. We've been in school together for three years. Children born. Stories shared. To make a long story short her husband is being deployed for over a year to Iraq and she's moving with her kiddos out of state. Her youngest--just a year old, has a massive health issue that's just been recently diagnosed (within the past week). Scary shit.

I think Terra could set the apartment on fire tonight and I'd appreciate her simply for being alive and healthy. :(

That's really sad about your friend. :( It's a shame she can't stay behind while he does his time. I know it isn't ideal for her, and the kids will miss their dad but honestly I think moving kids around does more harm than good. I've had to make a couple of major moves and it was always a very difficult adjustment making friends and feeling comfortable.

I think when I finally do hit the bed I'm going to pass out for a LONG time. I need it.

I'm so hoping the interview goes well tomorrow. Many fingers crossed.

---------- Post added 04-24-2013 at 07:45 PM ----------

And I know I've been on a roller coaster. I guess it will help me appreciate what I have more when I get off the damn ride.

---------- Post added 04-24-2013 at 07:47 PM ----------

Also - SOOOO happy no small kids are around me right now as I think I'd be in the same boat. I'd be like "just let me know ahead of time so I can find another bed before you burn this one, mmkay?"...

They have family where they're going. She's going to get support from family for both her and the kids, in hopes she can finish her internship there. She hopes to come back some day, but at least a year or two from now. I just feel sick thinking about it, more so about the baby. It can lead to death, depending. Risk of cancer is significant enough that I'd be a wreck. :s

Many fingers crossed for tomorrow!

Well it's been a couple days since I've last posted. We were suppose to hear about that position today, but the temp agency never got back. I'm wondering if the company going through the temp agency is having to re-evaluate their methods. Aaron went in on Thursday morning and was given a 10 question 'quiz' that he described being something you could of gotten your associates in electrical engineering, and still struggle. He said he answered it as best as he could, but said at best he got 50% right. He felt pretty defeated and I felt rather depressed.

We're still waiting to hear back on a few other applications he's submitted. It's been pretty dead. I guess Aaron is expecting to have two more weeks at Walmart and then go on unemployment and go absolutely nuts posting places. We'll see.

Today we went out and had a little fun. It's a week before Aaron's birthday, and we both needed to spend some time together. It was fun, but we spent more than we should have. I guess another tight week is ahead of us. This isn't anything we haven't been through before

Tomorrow we're going over to a friend's house so Aaron can jam on the guitar, and I'll hang out for a little bit just to get out of the house and socialize. Aaron's friend's wife has something for me she's bringing and says it's really neat and I'll be excited.

i hope y'all hear good news, Izzie

We're both hoping to hear something good, soon. Not holding our breath though.

I'm keeping fingers crossed..

Thanks, Chi. Won't hear anything until at least Monday.

Ugh, only 2 more weeks of this crappy schedule. I will be estactic once it is over.

Have you begun the phone work?

That starts tomorrow. :(

Ah... :(

Don't tolerate unhappiness for long. Maybe the adjustment period won't be long, and you'll like it after all?

I don't think it's a case of me not liking it. I mean there will be those asshole callers as there always was, but it's just chat support it was easier to mask me not being in a good mood. With being on the phones it will be a little bit more tricky as they can hear the tone in my voice. I'll still do it, and I know what people want to hear without doing anything against policy.

In all honesty I would enjoy doing my current gig then working with cellphones. I've already done that type of work and it's not much fun. With this job I can sit and chatter about videogames and it's all cool because it is work related. :)

I gotcha. It sounds doable then.

I have such a massive headache. I need to head out in about an hour for dinner with friends. We're meeting to give our friend a sendoff, since she's moving states away.

I hope you feel better soon. I also wish your friend the best of luck. I hope she can finish up her training in the new state, and that her child gets better.

I need to get going too as we're going out to meet some friends of ours.

It was a nice outing. I feel better. My back is still killing me, but emotionally I'm centered. I think I'll have some decaf and relax. Terra went to sleep about 10 minutes ago--I took her to bed as soon as I got home.

I'm going to do some paperwork-y stuff that I've been procrastinating doing. For some reason, in my head I've been consistently doing my math wrong for my internship stuff. Nothing is amiss, but I'm setting myself up for more hours than I need, if that makes sense. Out of our 900 total, 360 of those need to be direct service with clients. This means, at minimum, I need 12 direct hours a week. For some reason my brain thought I needed 13 a week.

One hour probably doesn't sound like a big deal. When it's cumulative it's huge. A couple weeks in the winter months I had just 5-6 direct hours due to poor weather, for example. This week I ended up with over 17 direct hours and my average is higher than 11 but lower than 12.

tl;dr; I need to do some math-fu to get my projected "I'm outta here" date, and see how many more groups I need to schedule to boost my direct hours a bit. This requires Ben and Jerry, two guys I rarely if ever consult. Coffee Heath Bar Crunch!

Anyone have some of the rares I'm hunting for?

Ohhh Ben and Jerry's sounds DIVINE right now!!

I'm sorry I didn't get back with you until tonight. We were out at a friend's house until 3:30am in the morning. I was occasionally perusing the website on my iPad, and had read your post but didn't have the mental clarity to write anything intelligent. Aaron goes over once a week to jam with his friends at their house and I will follow along to socialize with the other roommates who live there. Basically it is a rented house that is split between 3 guys who work at the same company. Only one of them actually plays in the band, but the house is big enough and well kept that they can go in the basement and jam while the other two roommates and whomever else shows up can wander the house and chillout. There is one guy who is constantly cooking for everyone while there's company, and it has a real nice friendly yet mature(ish) atmosphere. The people here are mid 20s-50s who hang out, and there is a little bit of alcohol and sometimes some interesting bonfire stories nothing ever gets out of hand. :)

Anyways, I got to sleep about 4:30 this morning and got up at 10. I felt just fine, but ended up only working 10:30am-12:45am and then forced to jump off due to low call volume. Kind of sucks as I won't get paid, but also I would of just crashed on my friend's couch so Aaron could of had a little to drink and enjoy himself. He capped it at one and a pudding shot, then stayed out of it for the rest of the night so he could get us home legally. I Had a little bit more. Maybe 3 shots and a bacardi. It felt nice. :3

I was feeling alright until about 8:30pm tonight and then I started wigging out. I've been kind of worried about how things will pan out, and if my move to phone support is going to be plagued with jump offs and low check or if this is just a temporary thing? The boss says Sundays are just slow days typically, and I'm hoping that is all it was. Luckily, for the rest of the week I think the earliest I finish is 6:30pm, and it's usually pretty rare they start kicking people who are booked for that late to hop off. I'm hoping that this is the only time for the rest of the week as my paycheck is going to be clocking just shy of 60 hours for the 2 weeks. It isn't bad, but it isn't great. I should be getting 70+ to 80.

I was reading over your face time sessions and it looks like it was a good idea to get a little more heavy on it depending on the week and the season. I bet it will be easier to get that in when the weather is good and you're more mobile. I can also bet it feels fabulous to be finally at the tail end of your school time.

I keep on wondering on our end if things will ever start getting better. We're still waiting back on several leads, and I've kind of told myself to stop getting hopeful over every little glimmer of hope. Right now I got to get through 2 more weeks of these shitty shifts and then find out where that leads us. Worst case scenario he's on unemployment, but then he can concentrate his time on job hunting and also take some load off with the house responsibilities. Right now he's even admittedly said he's done nothing the past couple of weeks and I've been doing it all. (Although trying not to totally burn myself out...The house still looks like a pit even though I spent the past couple of my Fridays busting ass. Ugh! :P)

Anyways, I got a lot of my mental angst out when I called my dad this evening. I really do appreciate him listening to me and just listening, not trying to tell me what I'm not doing or make me feel like some how I'm just not living up to expectations. I'm sure there are things more I can do, but really when I call I want to vent and just get all that pent up emotional stuff off my chest and have him say 'hang in there honey, we love you.' That's all I could ask for.

To get that true form of listening is a godsend for sure. <3

If things don't pan out with your phone job, don't let it stop you. You have many talents to give. You're in your own way for a lot of it. Did I tell you about the six months I didn't leave the house? I was in my early twenties--long before we ever met. I had anxiety and depression like no other. I'll forever believe in the possibility of change because of that. So likely you'll hear me being one of those cheerleader-type roles for you in the end. ;)

I am in agreement about Sundays being a low key day for most people. See how this week goes and if it ends up paying too low, then don't let that get in your way of change--let it motivate you.

Still, I will cross fingers Aaron's job pans out and your job will average the hours you're looking for!

I'm hoping so!!

So far though I walk in and it's dead. Everyone finishing by 2pm is told to go home. I'm not too hopeful for Mondays....

I hope it won't be the case. :(

6pm or earlier now. :( I'm only hear until 7pm, so I'm expecting to be let go early today.

Bummer. I wish money weren't such a necessity. I want to learn how to grow a money tree, seriously!

When you figure it out, let me know. I need to grow my own money tree as well.

If this crap continues at work I'm going to file for unemployment. If things on our end don't somehow picking up, packing up and moving to my parents house is a definite option.

That may not be a bad option. It sounds like that overall you're stronger now and would be able to put up boundaries for any "crap" that might happen between your mother and you. If you can move, still work somewhat, and bring in enough money... why not? You'd be on a farm too, right? Or around farmland? That would be nice.

Yep they live on a farm. We would have to share a bedroom that is chucked full of my mom's projects and what not. It would just be temporary, until Aaron could find some form of permanent employment.