I guess it's difficult then for parents to think of something to do immediately while they're in public to remedy the situation, so they just allow it to continue? Another classic example I see often is while in the grocery store a parent will promise to by them x thing if 'they behave'. I guess it's a useful tactic but I would think if you're constantly doing that you're spending a lot of money for their behavior, and they come to expect it.

Gosh I'm glad I wasn't part of their lives very early on as I know I would have trouble with physical punishment too. I wouldn't dream of hitting either child, but they were 4 and 7 when I first got with Dad and by that time in my books it's getting a bit late in the game. Not only that but could you just imagine the shit fit that would happen if their mother found out. I can understand being upset as I was upset when I heard that the boyfriend pulled Tristan out of the car one day for crying over something. He must of been about 7-8 years old and even 3-4 years later he will still tell you how upset he was about it. That's not my goal -- to leave a lasting mistrust and hurt. More over trying to reinforce good, expected behavior.

I'm also glad that the taking away of privileges motivates both children to behave around here as I honestly would run out of positive incentives to give them. (Especially Tristan who is only here for the weekends now...) Pam we've already had the talk that the more mature and reliable she becomes, the more lenient we would be about her wanting to do things. She's already been threatened to have the Roku box removed from her room by dad over her grade dropping in history (turned out the teacher hadn't inputted all the grades yet, but it dropped from an A to a B- and Aaron is very much on top of that stuff...she had issues with not turning in assignments on time, or at all and hence the bad grades from at her mom's) and you should of seen her reaction. I spent the evening trying to console her as she felt dad was being 'too hard' on her. Letting her know she could easily be on the honor roll if she had the motivation and her dad wants to see her do that and that he's trying to keep up with her as the grades are changing to make sure she gets back up before it gets to the point where it's irreversible for the semester. She already has a ton of weight on her to perform from her mother....

Oh speaking of which the only grade I'm truly concerned about is her PE grade. She's been begging us to let her drop out of it as she hates it so much, but I'm trying to let her know if she gets it out of the way now she only has like two semesters in total she's got to take to meet graduation requirements. The stinky thing is they give grades and have tests (mine you either pass or fail...). The last 'test' she took she got a D on, and apparently it only has a 5% weight on her grade. Her final test apparently has a 50% weight. I've got to ask Aaron what else factors into it as we really want it to be a C or higher. It just stinks that that will more than likely be the grade that keeps her from making honor roll. :/