The hinge on this laptop is ready to break, but I'm beyond hopeful it'll keep together until I get something better. Cole working tonight really does help the finances, as it's time and a half for the 8 hours of OT he'll have put in by the time he's done.

I could have started the new job earlier, but I felt that doing it while closing a house and moving was too much. The employer is being up front and saying the three months of training may end up being more than 40 hours a week sometimes. I'll be doing a lot of shadowing into the evenings, for example. I figure, so long as I'm salaried, I'll put faith that it's not going to be 50+ on a normal basis. And once I'm out of training, I make my own schedule, so... if I worked that much it would be because I wanted to. It's one of those "work more get more" pay scales in terms of billable hours spent with clients. My base pay that I get no matter what is more than I make now, so I'm okay with it.

We'll keep our fingers crossed that the laptop holds out. I'm glad Cole is getting those extra hours. :D

Alright, time for me to head to bed. Goodnight hon!

Sleep well! <3

Sounds like things are on the up and up for you, Chi! That's awesome!!

I hope the work colleague is OK. *sighs* You're right though...crisis doesn't force suicide...I just wish they realized (and cared) how much it fucks up other people's lives. I've been on both sides of the fence and when you're majorly depressed you could really give a rat's ass about anyone else, let alone yourself.

I'm hanging in there. Haven't managed more than 5 hours sleep in the past week any given night, so I feel like I could crash any day. Having some drama at work, but it's minor stuff...Lets just say I learned and got burned and know not to trust the person to follow through. She did offer me her time today, but after much monkeying about and at that point it's like yeah I don't want to work that bad...

Aaron will be mad because I basically threw 5 hours out the window, but eh.

Sooooo glad it's the weekend!!! I could use a couple days to unwind.

I'm with you--SO glad it's the weekend. I'm working from home today, but the tasks are so few I consider it a day off. So much so that it honestly feels like Saturday. At some point we'll clean the apartment, but we've not been cleaning as much as we normally would. For me, it's because I don't care about deep cleaning if we're moving in a few weeks. I seriously doubt it'll be much more than a month from now. We'll know for sure today or early next week if the underwriters officially approve everything. The only thing I do know is we are approved if they accept explanations for things. Their requests were odd to me, but whatever. If all they need is to see student transcripts showing graduation and explanations of deposits, I'm good with that.

I think the work colleague will be okay. The last I heard this morning was she's likely ready to be discharged from the hospital, but they weren't sure if she'd be discharged into an inpatient facility until she's more mentally stable, or if she's mentally stable enough to be discharged home with a referral for counseling. My gut says she'll kill herself if she doesn't go inpatient first. :\

Anyway... happier stuff!

Keep chugging through work. It is disappointing that workers have to go by a CYOA mentality, but it's true. If we don't cover our own asses first, no one else will. :(

Yeah...I let the bosses know the situation, but honestly with partial shifts they don't technically belong to me until we sign off in chat. I'm really hoping that this person doesn't spread shit about me though to make it where people aren't trusting of me, but at the same time I just can't cover for her anymore. I'll try to pick up the days next week I said I would but she's got to be there when she says she is so I can get said hours and not BS me around until the last minute and say oh yeah hey you want it?

Chuck has found a way to get out of the house...through a hole in the screen window. I'm hoping he isn't going to try to do that with the other windows in the house. If he does we all the sudden have a problem...and one without an easy solution. I may have to just follow his ass around with a water spritzer and train him not to poke around there. There isn't any lasting damage, it's just annoying and if someone else in the park gets wind of it...it could cause issues.

Aaron's been pretty stressed out as of late. Hoping he gets a good nights sleep today. Yesterday they did some impromptu waterline work just a house or two down and were jackhammering and digging all morning/afternoon. This was the same afternoon he had literally a 6 hour window to sleep before he had to make a car trip up to see Tristan play in his concert. Needless to say he slept like crap and this morning he's like you know I don't remember hardly anything that happened...it was all a blur. He still went into work, did his full shift then came home and cook me breakfast. At the concert he did have me worried, though, as he broke out in a rash around his neck and upper part of his chest...almost looked like hives. He said he at one point felt like he was going to be physically sick at the concert, but he said after we left he was 'ok'. I'm going to keep an eye on him and maybe push him to see a doctor if he doesn't start perking up.

It looks like work is going to start slowing down a bit...apparently on both jobs. I'm hoping I can balance them enough to make ends meet financially. It's going to be interesting on how we work this summer too with Aaron on thirds. He's been inquiring around work about any openings but right now there's nothing. Oh well someone in his department got a promotion who was on firsts, but then they moved that position to a second shift and Aaron refuses to take it since Pam lives with us...So he's on the lookout for first shift work.

I can't imagine Aaron's work schedule is helping. I wonder if the hives were anxiety-induced?

First shift is best. We're making it work with Cole doing nights. I feel confident in how we manage it right now. But when I switch to my job, I don't know WHAT I'll be working. Seriously! o.O Point being, it's stressful. I hope you guys find a way that works around for all.

Izumi, I really hope you guys find a way to make ends meet. And that Chuck leaves the windows alone.
I made myself sick with anxiety again today. Had to call in to work. Although I do have a 99 degree fever again, so perhaps I'm also actually sick.

It's hard to tell since fever can cause the anxiety too. What's weighing on your mind? :(

It's May. Life weighs on my mind. I don't want to see anyone or do anything. But I do have to tutor in about half an hour so I should eat and get dressed. Be back later.

I thought it was that, but with how everything is chaotic, I didn't dare assume it. I've had one of those weeks where it's better I ask. >_>;;

Have a good tutoring session. Hang in there hon... I'm thinking of you!

Haha, indeed. Luckily, I've rarely been the suicidal type. I mean, if I could guarantee a coma, I'd go for it. I have desperately wanted comas (all the sleep I can get with none of the worrying about life business). But since there is no way to guarantee a coma, I've never even tried. My biggest issue is that I have a hard time dealing with life and the anxiety of trying to handle life gets to me when my depression is very bad. I make myself sick and stop taking care of myself.

*sends hugs steel's way* I know how you feel about the whole suicidal thing. I'm on the same level, too, but at the same token I don't think I could do it to my friends and family...Especially after loosing my brother. It's really rough on a person to grieve for a loved one after a suicide. It's just...you really start to search for times or ways you could of intervened and perhaps they would of lived. Eventually I had to shelve it and realize that there wasn't any stopping it...

Anyways the finances will work out in the end...just nothing is guaranteed. Nothing in life is.

Chi, it sounds like you have a boatload of stress...but it's all means to an end and in a couple of months you could be really on the up and up. I do hope everything goes as smoothly as possible and I'm really happy to hear that both the job and the house are coming along nicely. :3

Looks like Pam went to bed early, so Aaron and I get a little one on one time. :3

Thanks for the support, hon. I appreciate it.

Hooray for alone time!

Yep yep!! This only happens once or twice a week at most like this...Usually it's "Hi dear" then "bye dear" 15 minute chunks. He's in the shower right now, but waiting for him to finish up. I think we may go cuddle and play iOS games together...so nerdy. :3

And so adorable! I'm so glad you guys are getting some time together. It will probably help you guys destress immensely.

Quality time is a good thing. Enjoy it, Izumi!

Steel, I hope you get feeling better soon too. <3

Thank you sweety. I am making myself a bit better by reading funny annotated fairytales.

I hope all is well. <3 It's been a whirlwind here still...

I feel like my depression is getting a bit better. Fingers crossed!

Arggh...I deleted my post by accident...somehow.

Just wanted to say I'm glad you're feeling better, Steel.

I'm doing...OK...I guess.

Thank you sweetie. I hope things look up for you!

I'm glad it's doing a bit better. <33

Haha, Izumi. That's exactly how I feel today. "Okay. I guess."

It turns out the kitty doesn't have cancer! He had a trichoblastoma. The tumor is slow growing so it's considered benign and it looks like they got the whole thing removed. I think that has improved my mood greatly.

Yay for kitty, Steel!! I would be worried too as I'm attached to my little furbabies.

And yeah..Chi, I'm not feeling bad or anything...Just had a semi rough day at work and tired. Glad it's over. I'm just trying to motivate myself to put in some time in the other job so I can have a sweet payout next month. This month is going to be like $70...big whoop...Of course April was extremely chaotic with the dog hurting his back and Chuck finding his way back home and having to get him acclimatized to the house and the other animals. I'm surprised I didn't lose my sanity at any point...Having to deal with both husband and stepdaughter telling me how much Chuck stresses them out and they didn't want him. Made me feel really lousy as I was the only one pushing for it. Now things have settled down and the only really bad thing he's done lately is put a hole in the bedroom screen. :/