Is there anybody that wonders why there are guys that sing love songs about the most important girl in the life and yet, there's not many like that in real life?

I've noticed since most of my friends are guys that they aren't very good with girls at all... like... they say some really messed up things about there ex's and stuff to me (I guess I'm just one of those people guys like talking to o.O; ). I've never actually felt brave enough to ask them though why they never stick with one girl or why they talk bad about girls around their friends just to seem cool. What's so cool about it?
I'm in the 12th grade and boys are still like that... it's sad. I can't believe some of the things some of my guy friends say to me and when their friends are around. (My point is, they are very nice to their girlfriends outside of school).

So do you think that a lot of guys do this? And why do you think they do it?
And if you are a guy... what's the deal with that?

I don't think guys really mature until their late 20's and even then, they say the maturity between guys and girls is 5-7 years or something like that. So I believe it should be ok to date a few years older guys once a girl is around 20. That way she'll find a little more respectful guy than she could in high school.

My mother claims that my dad didn't really mature until he was 40...
I do hope it won't be that long but it is true. Those songs are ideals and people need to realize that they aren't going to just happen. I wish it was possible because there is one song I would love to see as well. Still, you work with what you can and realize, they will change. However, always remember that even as they age and change, it may not always be for the best or even mature.

The most disillusioning thing I have ever discovered in life is that all humanity are liars. I have to admit, I have never really had any of those horrific and horrible things happen to me, like my fiance has never cheated that I know of (and I am not suspicious of him either), he has never emotionally abused me (like my best friend who was cheated on, left pregnant and arrested for "assault"- please. She literally gave him a shove so he called the cops? Grow some balls!), he does not lie to me about important things (and usually comes clean about the little fibs too), and I believe he really does love me; yet I have the most cynical view of men ever. (Of course, my fiance is also five years older than me! lol) I do not really understand where my disillusionment came from, but whenever I hear those incredibly sappy and stupid songs by both male and female artists, I get so irritated. I also get irritated about all those hip-hop songs that turn women into sex object too though, so.... I mean, come on. Does anyone really listen to those lyrics? They are so... degrading! And they turn women into objects just like... a car or something. GRR! I am worth more than that, I'm not just here to spread 'em. lawls. But then most young women these days do not really fight that sex-object picture. And most men really do not support that fairytale love image. I hate it when I hear those songs, they are so flaky.

Stupid long post, I am sorry if it is tl;dr!

While those sort of guys are outnumbered, they're not actually all that rare, they're just not usually all that attractive. In my experiance, popular guys tend to be more inclined to be Jerks, afterall they have good looks to fall back on, but guys without the looks tend to have really sweet personalities because that's all they have to get them through a social life.

Pretty much everyone I know are the guys who would sing love songs if they could sing. Only they generally can't...and even then some of them still try.

Sorry guys, but musical talent =/= genuine maturity. It just means that they have a way with words and are able to market it. When we hear a romantic song on the radio we suddenly start associating the performing with all these amazing attributes, but reality just doesn't work that way.

Everyone matures at their own rate. Give it time and you'll start finding that more and more people are ready to begin taking relationships seriously. It's not just guys - It's everyone who has ever been a teenager.

Like Knerd said, everyone matures at their own rate. There are some mature guys, but I haven't really met that many. There are people still stuck in their teen years when they're far past them.

My dad's 62 and I still think he's immature. XD That should say something right there.

Guys have a way with words. Their songs don't really mean that's how they really feel, as horrible as it sounds. But it's true in a bunch of cases. Girls pour their hearts out for a guy, and well, guys don't always do the same.

People definitely mature at their own rate. I have met a lot of older men whom were the most immature that I have ever come across. Whereas, I've met some around my age, and even younger, that are very mature.

Personally, I think girls are just as bad as boys.

We're whiny, bitchy, catty, hypocritical, clingy, and over-idealistic. Half the girls I know start writting "I LUV ____" and "ME & ____ 4EVA" within a few months of dating them. So it's no wonder when guys break up with girls, they always have the "My ex was fucking CRAZY, dude!" stories, and girls have the "WHAT AN ASSHOLE HE BROKE MY HEART" stories.

It goes both ways. You just have to watch out.

Well really you just need to look at the bands singing the songs too. I noticed it with Good Charlotte. Joel had all these songs on his new CD about love and being with the perfect person, then he breaks up with the girl he wrote all those songs with and gets with someone else.

Even the guys who write the songs are the same as any other guy. They're just immature and flick back and forth between different girls who are all "the one".

Really, it's because they are just songs.
They're fiction. No guy is perfect.
You shouldn't like a guy because you think he's somebody from a story. You should like him because he's him.

OMG I completely agree with Merrow

I have a girlfriend who thinks that every guy who dates her should not ever want to have other friends (Especially not girls, she got jealous of ME when I was friends with her BF), should always want to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it WITHOUT her telling him, that he should sing her crooning love songs and live, basically, for her. And when none of her boyfriends live up to the task, she gets completely psychotic about it.

Also, she ditches her friends whenever she's in a relationship and then expects a welcoming shoulder when she's through.

AND OH MY GOD talk about obsessive. It's little wonder that she thinks that her guy should plan his life around her, because she does that same thing. She's practically a stalker sometimes. One BF she claims to have been her "true love" because he was her first time, and she went back and forth between him and other guys for almost three years before she realized that he didn't care that much, and was getting tired of her pathetic emotional bursts and walk-outs.

She cried, emailed him tearful entries from her journal (Oh, that was how she broke up with him the first time to), called him, had her friends/sister try and call him, talked to his MOM, wnet to his house, and THEN, got engaged to his bestfriend whom she broke up with because she was "So in love" with the other guy. It was really annoying and pathetic the whole time.

I personally like the song by Ingrid Michaelson - "The Way I Am"

It makes me think that well, my guy doesn't have to be perfect, but I love him for who he is, and vice versa.

i don't know... i think it would be boring if you were with a guy who was perfect all the time. and everyone needs to vent sometimes, but if it gets to the point where it's a constant thing, then you have a problem. i have a friend who's been with his girlfriend for 8 months and broken up twice in that time, and all he does when we hang out is complain about her. it's really annoying.

Guys, nor girls are perfect, it is how the world is. Also while in love, "the one" is the person there by your side (as a girl), as a guy, it is something of a small topic of conversation later, but eventually they will get out of it. This is due to right now in high school everyone knows everyone, this changes a lot in college and with it comes something that involves less talking of the other people badly, and more poking fun at each other again, sometime people around them, but in a different tone than in high school.


As for the maturity level, the age gap in maturity decreases as one get to be in their late 20s, it is odd to say, but currently dating someone older was always a myth that i would never do, but i gave up on that cause dating someone my age never works out maturity level wise anyway so I run into issues.

Also girls also complain about guys all the time too. It goes both ways, that is when one wonders why they are together at all.

The bands like to sing about a 'perfect' love because they know it sells, after all that's what a lot of us are craving.
I genuinely got lucky and have met the kindest, most honest, sweet man and I am lucky enough to have him love me. We have our ups and downs, we argue like any healthy couple but we both know that we couldn't be the same without each other.

Oh yes~ I've noticed that whoever sings about the perfect love rocketes to a famous status and gain extra $$$. But it's very rare to hear someone singing about friendship, or anything not related to love [It's either I love you, I hate you for not loving me, I would like you to love me, or I hate you for breaking up with me].

But the guys that are like that [nice, mature, deep-thinkers] are scarce and invisible xD I have yet to find a guy like that... who has a girlfriend [that's why I think they're invisible 8D] So, the problem may not just be that guys aren't like that, but also because girls aren't really looking for that. Because if they were, they wouldn't fall for a handsome look and euphonic words.

PS: Syrionia is lucky! 8D

Anybody who thinks guys should/are like the ones in love songs are delusional twits. End of story. Life is full of compromises, and perfection and standards will never be met.

I agree muchly, I to have also met a sweet wonderful loving guy. Sure we have our differences, our small disagreement here & there & we have been through ALOT, i can tell you that, but i truly believe, if it wasn't for those differences & the road we have been down, we wouldn't have gotten so close. Only just a few weeks ago we had our 4 year anniversary & we are stronger than ever. I don't believe those love songs for a moment, but it is nice imagine. In some cases i can relate some songs to my relationship, but thats it, coincidental, It is also how you, as an individual, would perceive the song They can all have different meanings to everyone who hears it, so it will always be different.
Relationships are very hard to make work, but if you get lucky, then it will run its own course & you will see what true love really is.
The Maturity factor is something i don't fully agree with here. Sure, you get younger guys who are very immature & then you get the older guys, The "forbidden fruit"so to speak.
I find that dating someone your own age is probably very healthy & good for you.
For the guys, its not fair. If this really is the case, then think about it. During high school, they would be reduced to dating MUCH younger girls, giving the maturity gap, That can be classed as Pedophilia children. So they pretty much miss out if we had to follow these rules, & the for the ladies, Dating the older guy who is out of school, or just about to leave? Being the more experienced, the younger girls would be pressured to do certain things, they just wouldn't be ready for. Come on, we all know where that would lead, Even if the guy is older & more "mature"as everyone thinks they would be. In my eyes, i would see them as a danger. If you look at todays youth. All the girls are going for the older guys, ending up prego & then the guy leaves them. It was only meant to be a thrill for them, having this young innocent girl & being the "Big man" come on ladies, get with the program, Think of all the guys you left behind at high school, or your age? They are just blossoming lol. The early bird catches the worm lol. I would rather be the mature one in the relation ship, then be the sheep in a field of wolves. *strange analogy i know* but yeah. If you catch my drift.
Don't diss them just cause you don't think the are MATURE, stick with what you got. It will work out in the end, I promise =)

Originally Posted by Amo_Angelus

While those sort of guys are outnumbered, they're not actually all that rare, they're just not usually all that attractive. In my experiance, popular guys tend to be more inclined to be Jerks, afterall they have good looks to fall back on, but guys without the looks tend to have really sweet personalities because that's all they have to get them through a social life.

QFT.

I've seen it a million times with a million different people.
'Fabby, my last boyfriend was an asshole. Where are all the nice guys? I just want a guy who will be good to me!'
'Well, how about so-and-so? He's really nice.'
'Oh no! He's funny looking.'
'...'
People are so superficial when it comes to dating, I say.

Anyway. Songs don't exactly depict real life to a T. x__x

Guys are usually very slow to mature.
Hahaha.
And some are just plain bad with girls.
It all varies.
You just got lucky and found a bunch of guys that all either happen to be immature, just bad with girls, or both.
:)

It drives me crazy how guys act totally different when their not with their friends! D:
Like one time the guy I liked had a locker beside mine, cuz of alphabetical order and like when he's with his friends he acts like he's so cool, but when he's by himself he's a sweetheart, haha. xD

Its not just maturity that factors in to relationships as well, it's all about the attraction and the personalities too.
Alot of people don't really get together for the fact of being compatable in some way, it's more of hey she's pretty, she'll do. Also now a days it's not so much having things in common, its more about physical activities then actually doing things other then sex in a relationship.
If a girl doesnt put out or the guy doesnt either, things usually dont go over well, and when they break up they start stories and rumors.
Like people have said maturity comes at it's own pace.
Also not just maturity but it also helps because in high school people generally don't know what they necessarily really want in a significant other.

Originally Posted by Amo_Angelus

While those sort of guys are outnumbered, they're not actually all that rare, they're just not usually all that attractive. In my experiance, popular guys tend to be more inclined to be Jerks, afterall they have good looks to fall back on, but guys without the looks tend to have really sweet personalities because that's all they have to get them through a social life.

Pretty much everyone I know are the guys who would sing love songs if they could sing. Only they generally can't...and even then some of them still try.

you lucky monkey
unfortunately that is not the case where I am
I know plenty are considered by some people as unnattractive boys who are complete jerks which both surprises and irritates me
and the supposedly popular guys are also jerks
why is it every boy around me happen to have rudeness strewned into their brain? D=
It's like I attract mean boys to me like some weird smell people follow ._.
although I know two boys who have are decent in their behaviour towards girls which is good to know that at least there are some who are nice and good to be around=)

Originally Posted by Abunai Bijin

The most disillusioning thing I have ever discovered in life is that all humanity are liars. I have to admit, I have never really had any of those horrific and horrible things happen to me, like my fiance has never cheated that I know of (and I am not suspicious of him either), he has never emotionally abused me (like my best friend who was cheated on, left pregnant and arrested for "assault"- please. She literally gave him a shove so he called the cops? Grow some balls!), he does not lie to me about important things (and usually comes clean about the little fibs too), and I believe he really does love me; yet I have the most cynical view of men ever. (Of course, my fiance is also five years older than me! lol) I do not really understand where my disillusionment came from, but whenever I hear those incredibly sappy and stupid songs by both male and female artists, I get so irritated. I also get irritated about all those hip-hop songs that turn women into sex object too though, so.... I mean, come on. Does anyone really listen to those lyrics? They are so... degrading! And they turn women into objects just like... a car or something. GRR! I am worth more than that, I'm not just here to spread 'em. lawls. But then most young women these days do not really fight that sex-object picture. And most men really do not support that fairytale love image. I hate it when I hear those songs, they are so flaky.

Stupid long post, I am sorry if it is tl;dr!

I completely and totally agree. :)