My ex boyfriend (I cry when I call him that cause I really liked him) broke up with me because his mom made him because I'm not jewish.

He said he didn't want to, but didn't want to make his mom mad.

Why do people judge other people by what they are, and not who they are?

Coming from a Jewish family, I can almost see where the mother in question's coming from. See, kids are, according to Jewish law, to be raised as the religion of the mother.

Not that I condone her actions or her son's actions, but...perspective.

Originally Posted by MaryKay

Why do people judge other people by what they are, and not who they are?

That's called discrimination. It's sad, I know.

But, extremely orthodox Jewish families who want Jewish children need their sons to find Jewish wives. (The family line is continued through the mother, hence her reasoning)
Well it's not really discrimination for no reason. It's a cultural thing.
*Hugs* Maybe she'll let up?
I know that goys or gentiles (non-jewish people) can become a jewish person by studying with a Rabbi and then having a Bat Mitzvah at the end of the studies.
I myself am not Jewish, but I lived with a Jewish bisexual for a little over a year. We celebrated Pesach (Passover) and Channukah.

that's really different from normal racism
but that's the way the culture is
as far as racism, well, i know that too, and it's the kinda thing that can't be helped
it make people feel better about themselves when there is always somebody, or a group of people, to blame all their problems on, or believe that they are less
that's not the case here though
it's a preference, and it isn't that she hates you or anything

Well, I can see her perspective actually. I was raised an Orthodox Jew until I converted to LDS (or Mormon. however you prefer) And lineage is really important to us, or well Jews... (I'm not Jewish anymore but I still say "us", it's pride thing *woot*) And it's not really racism... b/c she's not discriminating against your race, technically, it's your religion that's the problem, but it's not only that... religion just isn't something you believe in, it's a way of life, it's part of their culture.

I can't really blame the mom, she's just doing what she believe is best for her kid and his future family. --Not to say you're innadequate, but it's just to preserve their heritage. My dad married a gentile, (much to the dismay of my grandmother) and look what happened to us (the grandkids) We're no longer Jewish, and that's what his mom is afraid of. My dad almost went into cardiac arrest when I converted, and almost killed me when I ate unkosher foods. :|But he's a douche, so it doesn't matter

Life sucks doesn't it? Racism will always be a major problem in our world. It will never change. So get used to it. I know its hard, but maybe when he is older, and able to go out with who he wants, then maybe you guys will hook up again. Don't end the friendship though.

@ Insanester: But it's not really Racism. It's a cultural/religious thing. Racism is hating someone just because of their race. If the mother were not as strict with her desire for grandchildren who were jewish, then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe the boyfriend might also want jewish children. *shrug*
I mean, I can't get married in a catholic church, because I wasn't baptized, and I'm not Catholic. So if I wanted to marry my Catholic boyfriend in a Catholic Church, I have to jump through a lot of paperwork and would have to go through a similar process, probably having to be baptized and the whole nine yards.
Religion makes things mucky; but this isn't all Racism.

I agree with Jenova. I think you've mixed up your definitions of Rascism and Cultural Differences.

And can you and him not simply be togehter, in private/secret? Does true love not conquer all?

>.< That's a serious thing for them, because they have very strong beliefs. Dont' take it too personally, it isn't because they don't like you. To them, it's a heritage thing. You can be married into it, but at your age she probably wouldn't have bothered with the suggestion. You're too young to really take converting into a different religion and culture seriously (In her eyes), but she might think differently about you when you are older.

If it was meant to be you guys would pull through. It'a hard in situations like that because as mentioned, it is so deeply rooted int heir culture. Hopefully things work out well for you in the end.

I don't get why people discriminate either, but that's just how some people think.

mm dont take it to heart, sadly some people can be small minded it when it comes to stuff like that you know. but then again,...that's how some people are brought up, into certain religions and such.

you guys can still try you know, if you guys have really strong feelings for each other, then you guys can keep it on the DL.

Because we live in a close-minded world that is heading for destruction based on the inability to get along.

To me, sounds like the mother wants the 'best' for her son. By him not standing by his choice in dating you. Then that is his loss and you are better to move on. That is my opinion though.

That's tough situation.
It's definitely very important to his mother that he ends up with a Jewish lady.
If she believes that all the Judaism preachings are true,
that means that she believes that her son's children
won't be blessed by God if they aren't Jewish.

Therefore I recommend
If you love him, perhaps you should look into Judaism?
Otherwise, the parents will do everything in their power to make sure
nothing comes out of the relationship between you and your fine gent.

I come from a french catholic background, therefore my family
isn't nearly as strict as Jewish parents about their religion,
but I know very well that I have to marry a catholic.
It's a somewhat similar situation.

In my opinion, when you're discriminating people based on their religion, it's time to seek a mental health professional.

IMO, following an orthodox religious tradition is different from all out racism.
It certainly sucks, but it's not out of hatred.

Just as so many others are saying here. It's not a matter of racism. I know, since I am a racism. But not the bad kind. I'm just racism towards those that have deserved it. And in my case, it's mostly towards Arabian people. I know there are good ones, I even had Arabian friends, but it's mostly that, here in Sweden, they come to Sweden, they refuse to learn the language, or even learn some English, and then they live off our tax money without doing anything for it. Just because they come from another country, so the government gives them money, and since many of them get allot of time on their hands, they go around picking fights with random people on the streets. They rob people. And they're allowed to stand around and call people what they want to and we can't do anything about it, but if we say something back, they can sue us for everything we have. And not to mention the older perverted ones who can't tell male from female and sit around stroking your leg as if they can do what they want to. Those are the types you just want to punch in the face over here. Know it sounds bad, but you see my point. (And I don't want any nasty messages in my inbox. I have a reason for being this way. and it's a really good reason too) I know what Racism is, and so does allot of others here. But in your case, as so many have already said, it's not about Racism, it's about Religious indifference.

Try to either wait and hope for the best, or maybe even attempt to become Jewish if you like him that much. Or try to show the mother that you respect their Religion and Culture, but that you really like her son.

Sadly this shouldn't be classified under Racism. This just a problem of cultural differences. In some cultures religious groups have a certain qualification for women to have the same religion as the spouse. Yeah it definitely sucks but its something you have to deal. NOW racism is when your family denies you from dating a certain race of people. Like my parents would kill me if I dated an African American person. I don't know why though. I think its a Cuban thing. But I believe it happens in all races. The parents always expect you to marry a person of your race or of your religion.

*points at Ruu*

Yeah, there is that too. But I don't think my parents would mind if I dated an Asian person, or some one from Britannia.
And I wouldn't mind dating Ruu-chan... *known Ruu-chan for a long, long time*

I'll just be quiet now...

Originally Posted by Limbo

*points at Ruu*

Yeah, there is that too. But I don't think my parents would mind if I dated an Asian person, or some one from Britannia.
And I wouldn't mind dating Ruu-chan... *known Ruu-chan for a long, long time*

I'll just be quiet now...

I see romance in the air! 'w'

When I read you're title I was thinking 'redundant much?'
x' D

I don't see the big deal, in him DATING outside his religion/culture.
How is being jewish classified anyhow?
I thought it was a religious thing but....
If he's young enough for his mother to veto dating you, then he's too young to get married and she should allow him to date who ever he wants to.
If she really cares about the culture, she's ease off now, so he doesn't pull away from herr later, when he's searching for serious, get married, life long love.

I had a crush on a Jewish boy.
His mother had always been nice to me and so was the father.
I started to get a crush on him and they seemed to notice.
They had a talk with me, and kindly asked if I could try to find someone else.
I was shocked at first, and kinda hurt but I knew what they meant and how they wanted him to be with a jewish girl so I backed off in the respects of his parents.

We are still friends but I found out (from him) that he is actually gay.
He didn't tell anyone but me so it kinda makes me feel better in a way knowing he couldn't like me back not just because I wasn't Jewish but allso that he liked guys instead.

Wierd story, but I guess what I'm trying to say really think about it if it's just a crush admire from a safe distant or if it's real maybe wait a little longer and think about it before rushing.
But if you and him both know its love then you might be made for one another.