Yes I realize this is similiar to another thread..That's what got me thinking. IF you are the type who falls into the minority and are a true niche person, how do you handle it?...Do you stay single because you can't find your match or do you compromise?...And what and how far are you willing to compromise?...What to compromise is an ongoing dl
This is partly why I am single. lema.



I feel the biggest conflict is Interests VS values.
Do you get someone who shares your interests so you can do things together and not share a value system OR do you find your soul mate who shares your value system and never do anything together because you don't share interests.

Example: Feel free to discuss your own reasons and dillemas concerning being a niche type.

For instance, I can't imagine dating an omnivore who eats sentient animals...It's eweee, yuck...I don't want to kiss up to a person who feeds on dead , tortured sentient animals. I want to lie with my own kind, another herbivore. Someone who values sentient life.

OK, so I look for herbivores and suddenly I discover there's no playful herbivores. FUn?...what's that?...OH NO>.....
Being playful is fundamental to who I am...I cannot imagine any other way. AND now I'm going to hook up to a boring herbivore?....I dunno about this.. OK, we both vlaue sentient life and we are going to sit together tapping our feet being bored out of our minds.

So I am back to finding playful people and of course when I find a match who shares my interests it's an omnivore. Then I'm back to eweee...I can't like an omnivore who eats sentient beings in "that way"...so it doesn't get off the ground even if we have fun.
I know nobody who feels it's OK to lock pigs up in cages they can't turn out for their entire life and then be brutally slaughtered is really going to be someone I can relate to on a deeper level.
Omnivore?...friend...Yeah...I am a tolerant person and I can go there...Lover?...I don't think so. Sorry...there's a line to be drawn.

Gosh, these are just TWO issues that are conflicting....There's much much more.
I know what I want and that i:
Sexual equality oriented, athesist, non sentient animal eating/compassiate, playful and honest person. You can't find all these qualities in ONE person..
People who are into sexual equality are rare.
People who respect sentient animals are rare.
Playful people are somewhat rare.
Athesists are rare.

I would compromise. Everyone has their disagreements, in your case you're a vegetarian and it seems like you're not willing to date a person who eats meat. You can either tolerate a meat eater, or continue searching for another vegetarian.

Not that I think you're wrong, I personally probably could never date someone who was pro abortion or anti gay marriage. I'd like to find someone who shares those beliefs, but I think if they're not the passionate kind then I could compromise. We could just agree not to talk about those things and I'd be fine. I don't mind their opinions, I just hate it when they're forced upon me.

No matter what, you're going to have to compromise with someone. No two people are the same, but I see what you mean about how far one is willing to go. I'm pretty open, so I've never had a problem with compromising.

your always going to have to comprimise

I would say i dont want someone that has the exact same interests as me because that would be boring. My husband enjoys and respects my interests and vice versa, we do things together and enjoy it because we are together and i take interest in what he likes and i learn alot of new things

If being with someone that eats meat is a no go, then by all means dont go for someone that does. Dont be so sure that there isnt someone that is a vegetarian out there for you that isnt playful, you may accidentally write of someone that could be incredibly shy. Give everyone a chance. Why do they have to be atheist? You may find someone with ALL the qualitys but, honestly thats pretty restricting, you wouldnt be happy with someone that respects and supports you, even if they may not share the exact beliefs?

I just noticed: atheists and non sentient animal eating/compassiate
Isn't that kind of contradictory?

And there are a lot more atheists out there then you think, same with vegetarians. I've yet to meet a boring a vegetarian, most of the ones I know are the smart, nerdy type, yet they're funny.

i guess it would depend on her area too, i know where i live doesnt have alot of vegetarians at all and the few that are....well, they are not exactly appealing...neither in personality or looks

yeah, I guess that's true, well I don't think vegetarians are that appealing since they don't get the protein that the need. A lot of them are skin and bones *shiver* it's kind of scary

When I was single, as now I am off the dating market, I was oretty open to everything, but I had two major rules,

He had to smell nice, so smokers were out, although I had a boyfriend that took up smoking again after we started dating, but by then I was in love and put up with it. And, he had to make me laugh. If you can't make me laugh you are just too depressed and I can not handle it.

Those were my only two rules, and so I would date anyone, but no one ever asked me. I was really lonely, with low standards. Weird huh?

I would not class myself as a minority, but there are some things I cannot compromise on.
I could not date a religious or right-wing-leaning person. I can be best friends with people like that, but when it comes to a significant other, I need to match up with them on something like that.
I could never ever date (or even be friends with) a homophobe. Ever. It's no different than racism.
I probably couldn't date one of those people that are like "lol I don't read reading's dumb I'll see the movie," but not so much because they don't share interests so much as because people who are like that are just not people I get along with very well to begin with. It just tends to indicate a type of personality that can get on my nerves.

Well I meant minority as is being a minority in something. Not sure what else to call it.
Most people are religious so being an atheist is a minority.
I know if I were with a religious person, sooner or later I would make a wise crack about their fantasy lifestyle concerning a super natural being perched in the sky among other details about this complex fantasy...And I think it would be over then.
Watching Nova on Educational TV, I don't understand how so many people can be wrapped up in this bizarre fantasy life, but so it is.

Well I've got a couple of things about me that aren't true of the majority. One of them is the same as yours, I'm a vegetarian. The other is that I'm Wiccan. And I know this isn't exactly a minority thing, but with the kind of people I tend to gravitate towards it can be, but I've never smoked (either pot or cigarettes) or done any illegal drugs and I don't ever plan on it. My boyfriend eats meat, is an Atheist, and smokes.

It only works because neither of us tries to tell the other what to do. We respect each others beliefs, even though they are very different in some regards.

What about an omnivore who likes fun and feeds on animals, but only animals that have been allowed a good life? (Farms approved by animal cruelty groups that raise their animals in a more natural enviroment, eggs from chickens who are allowed to roam, ect.)

Originally Posted by Claudia

Well I meant minority as is being a minority in something. Not sure what else to call it.
Most people are religious so being an atheist is a minority.
I know if I were with a religious person, sooner or later I would make a wise crack about their fantasy lifestyle concerning a super natural being perched in the sky among other details about this complex fantasy...And I think it would be over then.
Watching Nova on Educational TV, I don't understand how so many people can be wrapped up in this bizarre fantasy life, but so it is.

that would be incredibly disrespectful

and if you dont respect who your with then it isnt going to work out anyway. Why should you expect someone to respect your beliefs when you obviously think theirs are ridiculous and dont respect them

Now i see why your are trying so hard to find someone that matches all of your beliefs, good luck to you

Originally Posted by Ses

What about an omnivore who likes fun and feeds on animals, but only animals that have been allowed a good life? (Farms approved by animal cruelty groups that raise their animals in a more natural enviroment, eggs from chickens who are allowed to roam, ect.)

The only problem with that is it's very difficult to know for sure when you are buying eggs or meat that are actually free range, where the animals are allowed a good life. Unless you're lucky enough to know someone personally who has livestock and has enough extra to sell some, you aren't going to see the process, just the carton of eggs that says free range organic (for example).

I'm not saying that it's right to not like someone just because they eat meat, but if you don't like people who eat meat...them buying free range organic products in a grocery store might not make a huge difference. (If that's what you meant.)

Originally Posted by Claudia

Well I meant minority as is being a minority in something. Not sure what else to call it.

Yes, I know what you meant. I just don't think of myself as a minority. It leads to too many victim-complexes. I know plenty of non-religious people, and Atheists aren't incredibly hard to find, so I don't choose to think of myself of being in a minority.
I'm a straight, white teenager from the suburbs, I'm pretty sure that I'd well deserve to be beat up if I called myself minority just because of all that it implies. xD

Sayhn. Yep it would be. It's not because we hate each other, it's because some people are more compatible then others.
Why even without religious groups, they find it neccessary to find a match...So not only does it matter if one is religious or not, it matters what kind.
Like someone here posted about how Orthadox Jews didn't want non Jewish people for a relationship.

To a religious person it's not fantasy and from our perspective an atheist is basically someone who believes there's no value to life, we die and become soil. If that's the case why even live? I find it hard not to believe in 'God' because I want my life to mean something. Also something had to put us on this earth we didn't just 'create' ourselves. Even the big bang theory had to be started by something.

And Sayn's right, being that picky about a guy lessons your chances. I don't mind athiests as long as they keep that belief to themselves and not make fun of mine. It's that type of respect which forms a relationship.

As for a minority, I'm not really one since I'm pretty normal, but I'm half Asian XD

back to the minority thing, my friend who is majoring in Japanese culture/language told me that most Japanese won't date outside their race.

Also, most Indian boys won't date non-Indian's either

Of course, there are some like me (I'm Indian btw) who are extremly weird and won't date my own race XD

though, like you said it goes back to culture and all.
Most Indian boys are very traditional and eew like that =P

I'm very anti-traditional XD


I do think that we can all get over all differences =3 even religion

though religion can become more of a problem the more radical one's faith is and once children get involved.

then parents fight about which religion to teach their children =P

Whats wrong with dating someone who claims a religion?
Aethism really isn't rare, I know many, many people who have no interest or bel;ief in a god.
And if where you're from they happen to be rare then I think you should look for someone who is open to other peoples religions. Like me, I'm a spirtualist and I hate and can't stand the Christian or Catholic religion, but I don't hate Christians or Catholics.

I agree. I love playful guys, but there just doesn't seem to be any on hand. :<

I don't want the guy I'm dating to be exactly like me...
I have many quirks and such but I don't expect each of them to be matched exactly. I am a vegetarian, formerly vegan even, and I am fine with meat eaters as long as they don't try to talk me into eating meat. I am agnostic, I guess, but I am open to all sorts of religions as long as they are tolerant and do not try to convert me. I think the only niche I'm a part of that I absolutely need in a relationship is Dominance and kink. :sweat: It's more of a factor with their general personality and our compatibility in the bedroom though. I have rather high standards, but they are more intuitive standards than anything I could list. Intelligence, good sense of humor, and good looks are the main requirements.

Respect is key.

So you find these sort of thing a niche or minority being into bondage( not sure what to call this?) type activities?.

I'm not sure what you were asking
but
I don't specifically seek out anything. I basically just mean they have to have a dominant, assertive personality and be willing to play hard in bed, which are more personality traits than interests or anything learned/acquired, per se.