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A Modest Proposal
Hopefully in your various literature classes you've heard of the satirical essay by Jonathan Swift in 1729, A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public. If you haven't, I'll tell you about it. Swift suggests that, in order for Ireland's economy to thrive, they should sell their children as food.
I think that, though tragic, it's funny. Instead of thinking up complex and seemingly impossible schemes for your problems, just go with the easiest one, no matter the ethical irresponsibility it has. What would be your "modest proposal"? I'll give you two examples I have thought up: 1. Evacuate everyone from Israel and Jerusalem, relocate them far away from the Middle East, then just bomb the whole place with nukes. Make it radioactive so NO ONE wants to live there. Why? Because I don't see why people are killing each other a piece of land. I know it's one of the oldest cities in the world. I know it's a holy city for Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. I myself wish to someday visit it and see all the historical sights, but again, I don't think it's worth even ONE life. 2. Forest fires? Easy fix: cut down all the forests. If you just get rid of the trees, then the fires will be gone and no one would get hurt! No more air pollution from all the smoke, no more homes being destroyed, no more fire fires and citizens getting killed from trying to control it. But, those are both crazy. My first one, well. Jerusalem has far too much importance as a holy city, and it would be a silly and unnecessary thing to move people away from their homes, give up on negotiations, and ruin it. My second one, forests are incredibly important and the benefits of having them far out weigh the benefits of just getting rid of them. |
This is funny, I had to write an essay in my English class where we wrote an essay similar to this one, but it had to be about something we felt strongly about and we said the opposite of what we felt.
For mine, I said that in order to longer have to protect the Gray Wolf, we should ship them all to Canada. We wouldn't have to worry about them eating people, or people killing them. The deer population would not have to be available for them to eat so we could use deer as stock animals and we can turn Yellowstone park into a hunting ground. And Canada will finally have something to be famous for. |
Ok, to present a "dark" one.
We re-distribute wealth and resources based on who is most deserving instead of who has the most wealth by chance or inheriting it.. So living quality is now based on morality. This will probably mean a large scale migration while people are sorted out according to their behavior. Most of the world's wealth will now go to the people who deserve it the most due to good, moral behavior. Of course I realize some of the traits of good moral behavior will mean they will share with the bad folks...hehe. Compassionate people, those who show empathy to others, are generious, and not being overly greedy, try to not over-consume the world's resources being wasteful, who help others, who promote justice, who devote their lives to positive and productive causes, who try to treat people as equallly as possible among other other positive traits. People who are less deserving will the ones who get to live in poverty and or starve to death. The bigots, the sexists, pedophiles, rapists, destructive people, greedy people, crimininals and such will be re-assinged to live in poverty. For the worst among soceity, people such as the ones who cause or contribute to genecide or threaten the survival of our species with nukes or other wide spread threats will be culled/humanely killed. The space and resources they occupied will be given to other species to reclaim some of the vanishing habitat due to people overpopulation issues. |
You know what Claudia? The sad part of your essay is that people's absolute unwillingness to do such isn't the only inconvenient xD
A modest proposal... I say we do like in China, and to control population we kill all robbers, rapist and killers who manage to make it to jail, so that we can use their kidneys for people with renal insuficiency who still can work and be productive, and sell the rest of organs as a way to improve our economy :'D Such a move would also inspire teens into studying the field of medicine, and less kids would want to drop out of school and/or do bad things that could lead them to jail. *Nazi-salutes everyone* |
My modest proposal is that if you catch someone doing something petty and illegal, say graffiti or stealing a candy bar, you have the right to beat them as much as you see fit.
Teach their asses a lesson if they run into me. :) |
i think you should post what the modest proposal was xD if people can remember that it is not serious, a few people in my english class didnt quite get what was going on
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@Sho- XD That's brilliant. There's tons of room in Canada!
@Claudia- Only problem with that is that different cultures have different morals. x.X Like some think honor killings are acceptable. @Jend- I know a lot of druggie's who'd be dead by now if that proposal went through. xD @Sayhn- e__e I did post it, it's in the second sentence. |
Alright, this one is really mean and really stupid, but it was the first on that came to mind.
End world hunger by killing all the hungry people. Why? Because without the hungry people around anymore, there would be enough to go around so that no one would ever need to be hungry again. Solve the problem by just getting rid of those experiencing it. |
I haven't thought of having any modest proposals, but it's a good conversational topic to think about.
Forest fires are healthy for the forest. As contradictory as it sounds now. |
I guess you're going to kill me because I have a big appetite/ need extra calories due to a metabolism problem so I'm hungry a lot.
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How to make those damn kids study hard in school? Simple, death penalty to anyone with a D grade or lower. It's like natural selection! :'D |
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I'd be dead. D; I got a D in my advanced biology class, but that's because my teacher was the devil. She actually called me stupid, for real. She hated me because I didn't dote on her like all the other students. She wasn't cool, she was a sex obsessed old lady with a giant boob job. e_e |
A modest proposal
Three strikes and you are out Any crime at all, you have three chances in your life, if you break the law three times and get caught, you die. It would weed out anyone of a rebellious nature and promote obedience. (love the kill everyone with a D idea) |
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