Which is more attractive?

A quiet, soft female whose more on the shy side or a more agressive but spunky female?

A friend and I have argued, debated, made 'pros and cons' lists for this very question for god only knows how long. You see, one of us believes that a more "flashy personality" will always draw a crowd, where as the other firmly believe that though a "softer girl" will not be as widely noticed, she will catch better eyes.


So, i cast this question to you menewsha [specifically the male population here, but girls welcome too ^_^] which do you find more attractive? The spunky girl, whose always got an opinion, or the shy sweet girl?

I'd say a little of both. For example... around people we don't know or when meeting people for the first time, my friends and I are really quiet and shy and reserved and such, but by ourselves, we're really loud and out there and crazy. I think most people are like this, really. C:

I wouldn't really base it on a first glance. Say if I liked the spunky girl, she could have negetive qualities that aren't that attractive(and I don't mean physical; personality wise). The shy girl could have similar negetive qualities. So I wouldn't choose either. I'd get to know them a little more, then make my pick.

I suppose so, a good balance between the two is best... but people can't help being more one or the other, at least that is what I've come to notice. XD

@ rabbit embassy : ah, I can understand that. A stone can look good from one angel, but turn it around and there might be a spot we don't like.

I'd have to agree that a balance of the two is best. But if I had to choose...

I'm a pretty quiet and introverted myself, so I'm likely to have a lot more in common with the person who is outwardly shy. However, it can be pretty hard for two shy people to get to know each other. XD

This is a never ending debate isn't it lol. I think aswell that a mixture of both is the best. However, very few people are and they are very lucky. I'm a shy person and I find it hard to talk to people I don't know and try and get them to like me, so I don't meet people and make friends easily. I don't think thats good for me, but I am not attracted to really outgoing, loud people. I like shy people but they are harder to talk to. So yeah, a mixture.

Hmm... It seems that I am the only one here that thinks either extreme is good XD

Okay, The shy types are nice, [almost all of my friends are this type] but when it comes down to what I am attracted to is the louder more agresive [men, cause well even though this question is about women, I like the OPPOSITE gender XD] because I am the same type. I am loud and spunky, and really opinionated XD I need someone who can stand up and take my debate/argument moments without crumbling.

But the quiet type can have its advantages..... but it has to be the right kind of quiet that isn't .... well, shy I guess. They choose to be quiet, not that they have any real problem with people or being self concious.

So yup, thats my thoughts on it XD but honestly, i think when it comes to girls guys prefer the quiet type XD

One of my friends awhile back where I used to live had a little of both in her. She called herself shy, and she had a soft-raspyish voice. The kinda cute, yet not as widely noticed girl around school. But at the same time if you knew her personally, she was a hyperactive athlete that loved to run, fight, and go at everything full force.
People with both styles make for an interesting personality, I can tell ya that much.

I'm gay . w.

@Lark: I think the thing is, you need a person who complements your personality. Like you said, if you're loud, you need someone who can match you. And I think if you're quiet, you probably need to someone who won't overshadow you.

Ah, but why do guys prefer the quiet type? That's the question I want to know the answer to. XD

Not all loud people mix with loud people. That can lead to a competitive attitude between two dominant personalities. Quite a few times, there needs to be a balance. That's when opposites attract.

A shy, quiet girl will awaken the protective side of a guy, whether he realizes it or not. Alongside that, it's also an extremely feminine kind of personality, so that's likely why more are attracted to them.

Myself, I like girls that take initiative, and are leaders rather than followers. A girl who grabs life by the horns is more likely to actively pursue a good time rather than sitting and waiting for the fun come to them, as most shy girls do. Not to say there's anything wrong with an introverted personality or those who are attracted to it, it's just not my cup of tea :)

personally i would prefer the quite girl because the more you get to know and hang out usually i have found they are very out going when your in small groups of people you know.

I would have to go with more agressive but spunky female, mostly because I am the quiet side, so I would have ot have the spunkier female to balance me out.

On the other hand a good mix of both is extremley attractive in a female, but finding that balance is difficult :-P

I'm a girl and I LOVED a balance between the two when was dating another girl.... I'm a bit of a mix myself.

Oh rats, I thought you were talking about chicken wings sauce. And I read it as "sweet or spicy."

I prefer the sweet, tangy sauce, by the way. Hot sauce makes me go through through an ocean of water. Hoooot!

I've always gone for intelligence.
Regardless of "shy and quiet" or "outgoing and spunky".

It really depends on the situation or occasion as which personality trait I will display. I can be both at times.

The above are irrelevant, and both can be attractive on the right person. The most important part is to be witty, intelligent, and being able to flirt with skill and subtlety is extremely important!
Self-consciousness can bring out the protective side, but it gets old rather quickly. A good way to state the attractive version of shy is reserved. Someone who is self-confident, but not a jackass with attention issues.

I'm kind of a mix of both, leaning more towards saucyy
I'm not loud or rude or anything, but I am definitely outgoing. I can hold a good long conversation with someone the first time we meet, though I don't feel a need to constantly be talking... silence is fine, and in some instances, preferable. I'm very subtle about who I like, but if there's someone I want, I'll go for it.
I like my men a little obnoxious, kinda cocky, and above all, intelligent and opinionated.

It all depends. Both can be annoying in their own way.

Spunky! Someone with personality is definitely more attractive, in my eyes.

I myself am usually pretty "spunky" too, so I suppose that's why I think that way? :sarcasm: I dunno.

But I'd rather be able to hold an interesting conversation with someone easily than try to drag one out of somebody. Conversation is keyyy~

Not completely one or the other.

Wow, so apparently it falls to me. Most people are first shy, then more outgoing once they know someone. I actually tend to do the opposite. I go out there, say hi, make the first move, all that good stuff, but once I know the person I tend to become more... well, not shy, but definitely passive. I still can be outgoing to get something done, but... eh.

I'm not a guy so I dunno, but, I'm really shy in real life at first to everyone, but when I get to know people I open up alot more and am more fun and a bit crazy and pretty loud O_O but if I'm just with one person sometimes I can be more laid back and quiet, but not shy. xD