And the sad thing is, I don't care. I could never feel love for my dad, because he is a mentally abusive jerk. I know that other people have even worse parents, but I've just been so happy with him out of my life. Hopefully he won't change his mind and prod back in. I really hate him.

Discuss:
Do you have a bad parent? Are most dads the bad parent? Etc etc.

P.S.: Please don't call me "heartless" or a "bad child" for feeling the way I do about my dad. You don't know him, nor do you know me, so don't be judgmental. I'd appreciate it, thanks.

Don't worry you are not heartless.
The same thing pretty much happens with me and my father.
For some reasons, daughters always seem to somehow clash with their fathers.
Of course.. There are alot of fathers like mine, meaning they are Alcoholic, abusive, selfish, spoiled, and of course violent.

I don't blame you for feeling any hatred towards your father, because I know what it is like too.

@DarkxLorelei: Yeah. I'm not a girl, I just use girl avatars on most sites though. xD; But I'm really sorry that happened to you. =/ I'm pretty screwed up in the mental department (not totally insane, but I need medication) and it's because of my dad's mental abuse. >_<; I hope he'll stay out of my life, he's so mean to me. :/ Yet he says he loves me. As if.

Oh my, The father is usually also rough when it comes to the sons.
So you probably have it pretty bad.

Well I mean, My father never once told me he loved me, and denies all claims of me being his daughter XD But that is alright, I am over that.

Yeah I can totally relate to you Dark & Varnish. My dad was/[[somtimes still]] is abusive. Up till last year when I was 13 I had major plans on running away that same summer. I seriously couldn't take it anymore, me & my best friend planned out every thing, but then I threatened my dad that I would call the police on him & get him arrested & ever since then.. I think hes trying to change, but still..sometimes I hate both my parents so much.. especially when they have fights they always blame ME for their problems & I'll be like >___> I wasn't even involved.. but..yeah.

Yeaaahh... I don't hate my dad but we're just not the type of people that should be living together. We both have short tempers and instead of bonding over similarities, we just snap at eachother. He gets angry for no reason and that just frustrates me, so we both stay mad and fume. <__<; Mostly now we just avoid eachother and that works pretty well, we used to physically fight and that wasn't cool.

I love my mom, though. I'm not like a momma's boy, but she's always there for me but still respects that I am 17 and able to take care of myself. Like, I was ridiculously sick last night and mom got up at 5am to make me feel better and help me out. ; 3;

My parents aren't... bad.

There are just some times with my mom, though. She doesn't realize it, but she's verbally and emotionally abusive. I've gone through my own psychoanalysis of her and come to my own conclusion.

I look like her. I have the same eyes, the same hair, the same chin, same skin. I came out of her. She sees me as a part of her in every way, shape, and form.

Except that I am also my dad. Where I inherited my mother's blue eyes and blonde hair, I inherited my father's build. My mother is a very skinny woman: the product of both genetics and choice (she's a former anorexic and sometimes falls into a relapse.)

She sees my wide build and doesn't take my father's genetics into consideration. She thinks that its a dietary choice and that I'm heading down a very bad road towards diabetes and other related diseases.

So she will often tell me that I'm fat. She has been doing this since I was in grade school. I finally got the cajones to tell her that I don't appreciate that kind of talk. Now she tells me that I stink. Because "girls don't sweat" is about as true as "girls don't fart." She'll tell me that I stink after I've been exercising. Well.. of course I do. I've been doing the thing that you keep telling me to do! So I lose either way. And if I tell her that I don't appreciate being told that I smell, she's likely to start telling me that I made a poor career choice. Or that I'm dumb. Or, if she finds out that I'm gay, she'll start that mess.

I'm so glad I moved out...

Me and my dad are cool, though. He's famous for saying things like "well... I'm not a cannibal... but today is only Thursday." And "You know, the part about gay people that gay haters hate... you're only that for about an hour out of your day. And that you do in your own home where no one has to see it. So... all these gay friends I have that keep wondering if I'm banishing them to hell in my mind? That's what I tell them."

@Varnish: WoW I think that's very sad every child needs there father. But in your case you have your reasons to feel the way you do. There is only so much one person can take, I say live your life keep your head up, and try to give up on your self. He gave up on you, so its up to you to prove to him that you don't need him. I wish you the best of luck.

Well I seen my share of parents, But I happy to the you mines are very nice to me, I am there last child and they love me like the do my brother, and sisters.

My dad is everything to me he treats my like his princess, and my mom does the same.

Every parents have there good days and bad days, so I use to the madness that happens sometimes.

Originally Posted by Varnish

And the sad thing is, I don't care. I could never feel love for my dad, because he is a mentally abusive jerk. I know that other people have even worse parents, but I've just been so happy with him out of my life. Hopefully he won't change his mind and prod back in. I really hate him.

Discuss:
Do you have a bad parent? Are most dads the bad parent? Etc etc.

P.S.: Please don't call me "heartless" or a "bad child" for feeling the way I do about my dad. You don't know him, nor do you know me, so don't be judgmental. I'd appreciate it, thanks.

It's kind of hard to be judgmental when you haven't given any specifics :), and I certainly wouldn't call you heartless or a bad child just because you and your dad don't get along (to say the least, I'm sure).

Do/did I have a bad parent? Neither of my parents were all that wonderful. I used to really hate my dad, thanks to my mom :sarcasm:. Then I moved out, joined the Army, came back, and met him on different terms. He's been dead for many years now, but before his death, I can say that most of my hard feelings towards him had changed. Looking back, I now see him as the better parent. Mom is in a category all to herself. I stuck by her for many years, regardless of the hell she put us all through with her ways until something she did right before my husband died. Though I love my mother, and have finally moved to within mere miles of her, I rarely see her or even call her. I guess all the pain and hurt she heaped on in my younger years boiled over with that final stab and I can't seem to find any way to get past it.

Are most dads the bad parent? I don't know. I think everyone's situation is different. My husband was a great dad to our kids, I don't think they could have had better. I think that if my dad had been given more of a chance and the circumstances of the times had been different, he'd have been a really good dad.

I do think that sons have a harder time with their dads than daughters though, and most definitely girls and their moms can be hell on one another. You really can't have two women in the same household (so once that girl becomes a teen/young woman, watch out :)!).

Well for your sake I hope he doesn't prod back in either, sounds like you'd do a lot better without him in your life. Nobody needs to stay around abuse of any kind.

As for your question, with my family the dad is the bad parent, my mother is somewhat better but in someways close to being worse. My father was all well and good and for many years he was as close to the 'ideal' father as I had heard of compared to other people's dad's. He put family first, spent time with his kids, made sure everything was going the best that it could for them, and just generally cared.

Then he got remarried and is now owned by my stepmother. She has seen it her goal to make him ignore his two kids to the point that they don't want anything to do with him anymore. She's completely changed his way of thinking in life so that everything revolves around her and he's becoming mentally abusive towards his own kids. He's even planning to take better care of grandkids (if they are to exist) like he just gave up on us and is moving on to the next generation.

My friend feels the same way toward both her parents. She's called after fights and once her Dad almost got physically abusive while she was on the phone with me. Her brother actually stepped in and stopped him for once though.

D: He's creepy too, I was talking with another friend and he was driving us to the movies (my friend was in her mom's car, it was a 14th birthday) and we were talking about anime people we 'claimed'. Her dad suddenly is saying "So do you two know these people in real life?" >>' We explain to him that they AREN'T real people, just fictional characters and he tells we still need to be careful because they could be online sex predators...

I severely pity my friend for having to deal with this guy for another 2 years until she goes to college.

I've had to call the police on my dad before. He wouldn't let my mom out of the driveway, and kept screaming in her face, making her cry, and turning off her car. It tore my heart out, I couldn't take it when they started walking down the street and it looked like my dad was going to start hurting her. I wasn't the only one who called the police, either. =/ I'm so glad my mom has such a loving, kind boyfriend now. <3

I don't have any real connection with my real dad.
Basically from 5th grade to high school I was just, "another mouth to feed." I would go over to his house every other weekend but his solution was to give me a computer or let me play a video game system so that he didn't really have to deal with me.
The year after I graduated he winded up moving to a bigger house and his girlfriend and him supposedly had three kids (different ages), so naturally, I wasn't given a room to stay in and had to sleep on the couches. At that point I just pretty much gave up on trying to maintain a real connection.
It's probably been about a year now that I haven't talked to him, well more than a year. Bt he doesn't call or even email to ask how things are going, so, I don't really care to know what's going on with him since he doesn't want anything to do with me.

Growing up, though, before he and my mum divorced wasn't entirely pleasant. He was an alcoholic and always mentally abusing my mum. I never really got to see him and he would make all sorts of promises with me and break them. Though, he winded up dating one of the woman he cheated on my mum with.

Though, the guy my mum married is more of a dad then I've ever had. So... I'm glad for that.

I never actually met my real dad. He didn't want a daughter apparently, only sons. My mom said he was a bad person anyways. I've had a step dad for the past 17 years(I'm 21) and he's always taken care of me alright. Emotionally he's never really been there, but I know he cares. He's just not good with emotions. My mom was actually the problem for me. After her and my step dad split up, she got worse into the drugs and all that. A lot of bad stuff happened that I won't get into. I moved out at 16 and feel like my life is better now because of it. She's okay now that she's sober, but it sucked living with her for a while there.

My mom is a lot like your dad. You see, I didn't meet my dad until my high school graduation, and even then, my day was so F***ed up, I couldn't care less. My mom, I guess you could say, has always been the abusive one in my life. She's always been the one person who found ways to add an insult to a compliment, so I can understand sort of where you're coming from.

At the moment, I am living with my dad, and he hardly talks to me. When he does talk, it's serious stuff. It didn't always used to be like this. When I first move din, we joked, and laughed with each other. Lately I feel as though I'm only here to listen to his drama, and clean his house...though i don't think he's a bad parent.

When I was growing up, I used to dream of the day that I turned 18, and could get away from all of the bull shit. Now I am, and I sorta miss it.

I guess the moral of this long ass post is to tell you that it always gets worse before it gets better, but once it finally does get better, it REALLY gets better. One of these days, your dad will/may realize that he did you wrong, and then it'll be up to you to either say, "You know, you really hurt me! Please don't talk to me," or, "I don't like you, but you're my dad." And on that day, he better hope you say the former.

My father is also some what like yours though I like to believe he really means well but everything he said and does with me and my brother just turn into something nasty in the end if we are with him for too long. I use to get along rather well with him as a little kid but now I just find it easier to pretend he isn't there. He is just too darn controlling and verbally abusive to have any meaningful connection with. The reason why no one can stay around my dad for too long. My parents are much better off divorced.


And you shouldn't feel like you have no heart Varnish. My dad use to make me cry all the time but when I just gave up and stopped caring about my relationship with my dad. It didn't hurt so much. Though it isn’t all that nice for someone to call you fat practically every time they see you.

Well I'm unsure if there is much a scale that rates good parent from bad. Though I am going on a limn here and saying it is most likely the mom that raise the children since they are stuck with them until they are born and also their bodies produces a chemical that stimulates the feeling of love for their children [not sure if the baby has to breast feed for the chemical to be produced in the body]. I suppose there are just some people who weren’t meant to be parents.

Originally Posted by Varnish

And the sad thing is, I don't care. I could never feel love for my dad, because he is a mentally abusive jerk. I know that other people have even worse parents, but I've just been so happy with him out of my life. Hopefully he won't change his mind and prod back in. I really hate him.

Discuss:
Do you have a bad parent? Are most dads the bad parent? Etc etc.

P.S.: Please don't call me "heartless" or a "bad child" for feeling the way I do about my dad. You don't know him, nor do you know me, so don't be judgmental. I'd appreciate it, thanks.

I wouldn't ever call someone with feelings like this for their parent "Heartless" or a "bad child". Sometimes, people just can't forgive, and I totally get that. Your life is your's and mine is mine. Who am I to judge how you should feel. Honestly, that's not how it should go. YOU should know better than anyone how things make you feel. Good for you for sharing, actually. Report anyone who might disagree.

I've had some issues in the past with my dad... I actually haven't seen the man in person for almost 11 years. He did some bad things, and a lot of people were angry with him. Me personally, I don't know how to feel. Part of me feels I should be down right LIVID with the man, and the other part of me forgives and forgets.

I can't help but love my dad. He's changed for the better and is on a better track with his life. He has a new wife and their daughter (half sister) is about to be one. I can't help but love them all.


In my opinion, it's not a "MOST DAD's" thing. Yes, I believe males have more violent tendencies, but I think it could be called about even in the world today. More and more people are coming out with abuse stories, and a lot of those stories are now also mother's. I know someone who lives with their father because their mother was the abusive one.

My mom sucks too. real story. She was both mentaly and physicly abusive. Good thing Im 26 now and dont have to worry about living with her.

No, not all dads are bad. I love mine with all I am because he is the single best person I know! My mother abandoned us when I was just two and though she eventually came back she isn't a mother anyone would want! She is emotionally abusive,physically abusive, and an alcoholic. So if I had to choose one or the other of my parents I would take my dad! Though I am sorry that a lot of you have a bad Dads!

Me and my dad, I would love us to get along, but we have nothing in common, so we just don't talk to each other. My sister and my dad are both garage/car type people so they're always talking shop and stuff. My brother has a connection because he's the only boy, but nothing for me. We did get along quite well when I was in Welding in high school. He didn't know much about it, but he could figure it out better than my acting. But my grade 12 year I didn't have time to finish my project (which was way over my head) in my semester, so I gave up on it. My dad seemed really disappointed in me. It took me 3 months of 2nd sem. to get him to realize I wasn't going to finish the project. And now our relationship is pretty much we love each other due to blood and DNA. I hate it....

Both my father and my mother were highly abusive. Dad acually wanted me aborted and when mom refused he flipped and baddly beaten her (or so im told). They separated before i was born. I never have heared from him, nor do i care. Mom's abuse came mostly from her drug problem. She was very overemotional and high all the time, and would beat me then forgot everything she has done like 10 min later. When i was in middle-high school i moved in with my grandparents to escape all of that. It is kind of sad that so many parents end up turning bad. I only wish their were good parents out there :(

I kinda wish i had siblings too. It would had made things easier for me if i had someone to hang with growing up but that won't ever happen.