OMG I'm homeschooled, and the only other person in my "school" is my older sister, who is TOTALLY a pothead in every sense except the actual smoking kind.

I was talking to some people after swim practice one night, and I made a joke about the fact that my "school" only has two students, this one totally awesome sophomore and this other lame, suckish, senior. We laughed SO HARD at that....

My friends and I were hanging out eating pizza one time, and this guy Josh all of a sudden put his cold soda can right on my neck, so I totally flipped out and started flailing my arms, which unfortunately managed to get Dr. Pepper on my shirt, and a HUGE stain on my jeans. I could have killed him I was so mad. So I was like "Why the hell did you do that?!" and he basically said that it was my fault for freaking out. So then I said, well, what did he expect me to do when something really cold got placed on my neck all of a sudden. He didn't really have a good answer for that, but you could tell he was thinking "Not freak out".

I also find it interesting that another friend, who happens to be blonde, and has a lot of blonde moments (I have to explain things to her on a regular basis, and it can take her a while to get a joke, but she's my best friend anyways 'cause she's so cool) knows and finds hilarious almost every blonde joke ever. She also knows most of the "a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead...." jokes, and finds those hilarious too, which is a strange coincidence since her oldest sister is a redhead, her next sister is a brunette, and she's a blonde..... it's odd.....

:offtopic:

@ Thoughtful

I see that you have posted somthing that does fit the requirements of this thread.... Though I must ask, WHY MUST YOU SHOW UP ON A LOT OF MY THREADS!?!?!?

I am STILL angry at you for your total unhelpfulness on my other thread and your "pothead in every sense except she doesn't smoke" comment is, in my opinion a very rude thing to say about someone, especially about your older sister.

These two things combined lead me to believe that you are not a particularly nice person in real life.

I am actually quite a nice person in life, just a little cynical and sarcastic, with a quick wit that can get me into trouble (or REALLY burn the other person....). I just have a penchant for annoying my older sister..... It's a younger sibling thing that you might not get unless you are a younger sibling.

I suppose you and I are just interested in similar things. And I really would like to apologize about the other post..... that was entirely rude of me.

I would also like to put forth a suggestion: Use spell check. No offense, but misspelled words are particularly bothersome and annoying to me. I have a friend who claims he doesn't need to know how to spell because he can just use spell check. Unfortunately not everyone feels they ought to check things over and spell them correctly. Pity.

Haha, most of the weird lines actually come from me.

"An egg is like an ego," my attempt to help a friend with an essay about comparisons.

About the only think I can think of, sorry. XD But I know a lot of strange things my friends and I have exchanged...many of which we should have written down a long time ago.

I have witnessed all of these and repeated none:

"I like to take my VW out on weekends and oppress jews." -N

"You know what I think of when I see boobs? Brushing my teeth." -W

"Well I've always wanted to do homework and masturbate and I can't do that unless I have my own room. So that's why I go to the library" - M

"You're like an M&M cookie in the shape of a teddy bear! But with a hair in it... so I get a surprise every once in a while, and it's not always what I expect." - D

Person one: "I am happy now that anywhere you go I can find work... unless you go somewhere that doesn't have schools."
Responder: "Australia!"

"I could be doing a lot worse stuff than Tetris... like heroin." -S

I have horrible friends.

well between my friends and i we call each other hookers and strippers and stuff
my friend pam is a skank(not really part of the joke) kaylas a whore, kristas a slut, im a hooker, brendans a manwhore/ prostitute, and my step brothers a stripper XD

another is me and kayla went to the mall and there were alot of hot guys and when we see hot guys we shout randomly 'i want him in my bed!' and then we start laughing.

A friend of mine once yelled out "Hot doooog!<3" to a really hot guy once. I thought is was hilarious. So then after that for a while I'd just bust out yelling hot dog from time to time. XD
Then one of them once said it would be cool to flash a cop. I talked them out of it. ;3

yeah.......... my sister and I jokingly call each other Ho.

Yeah my friend Jessica calls me THE WHORE XD I know I shouldn't laugh because its not very nice but I honestly don't care because I know what I am and am not..


Krazy things... Well once me and my friend Fish had a long conversation at walmart about killing people.. i was explaining to her how you have to compensate for distance, speed/height of victim and so on and i think we scared a couple of employees...
I think i'll say just about anything to make Fish laugh.. I love that girl lol she's great...

I went to a freerunning event a while back with some guys I met online, where stopped at a friends place where we were spending the night and my friend Marshall sat down. After a long day working out and stuff a muscle in his leg was spazzing. We were all talking to our friend Eugene with our backs to Marshall when he yells out. "Ummm guys this is weird my leg is moving." We through he was walking up to the rest of the group at the time so one of the other guys with us was like, "Dude your a free runner your legs move a lot whats so weird about it." It wasn't until we turned around and ended up helping him to his feet to the figured our ignorance to the situation was so funny.

my friend has a habit of saying plain, simple things, and then taking them in the wrong way. one day, she was acting weird, so i asked her if her mind has a mind of it's own. she replied "all of me has a mind of it's own", then took that in such a wrong way.
the funniest she ever did was the one dealing with semi trucks. we were on the school bus, waiting for cars to pass by, and she was making it look likes she was eating the passing cars. i told her a semi was coming and she said "i don't think i can open my mouth that wide". then, she covered up her mouth, freaked out that she said that. since then, she has hated semis with a passion. =^_^=

Every conversation I have with my friends is weird and crazy so it is hard to pin point one such line of our dialogue.

hmmm


My friend's sister in law just turned 16, we were throwing a party for her (halloween themed) and a few days before the party she asked if there was anything special that we were gonna to for her party.
My friend said "Yeah, we're gonna go downtown and have a Hobo Scavenger Hunt, play Tease the Crack Whore and then we're gonna come back here and play Pin the Penis on the Asian with your little boyfriend!" (she has a crush on an Asian guy he's a few years older than she is, and we were being assholes and making stereotype jokes about him)

There is a woman I work with that smells REALLY BAD and she is NASTY. Her breath is foul, she doesn't wear deodorant, she never washes her hair...and once LP (loss prevention) had to make her go home and change because she started her period and she didnt know, but she had a whole mess down between her legs that we could all see and smell....
...anyways that we have over 9000 nicknames for that woman, and the other day at work on break (yay break time), my friend was listening to Outkast's "Stankonia" and we were talking about the smelly woman because she was assigned to work with me in my area and I didn't want her there. After a brief silence in our conversation my friend says "The Underground Smellroad" (she's singing the song) and I turned to her and said, in all seriousness "Is that what you're calling her now?"
the entire table started laughing. We all sat there, laughing so hard that people started to turn and look at us.

@ Sindima

OMG I have a friend who thinks that ever time you walk into a Walmart your IQ drops, like, 50 pts. And that the number increases for every hour you spend in there. Which would explain why all those people seem perfectly content to work there....... they've had their IQs lowered beyond any hope of saving them, lol.

And then there was the time we (me and some other friends) decided that when you walk through those "check if you're stealing something" things they put at the entrances to practically every chain store, it plants some kind of parasite or something into your brain. I forgot the whole bit but it was very strange and convoluted.

I also have a friend who, all in the course of one day:

1. Didn't know who..... I think it was Garth Brooks or Toby Keith, I forget which, was
2. Thought Rosa Parks had been HIT by a bus
3. Thought the Super Bowl was the World Series
4. And, while we were playing Apples to Apples (the best card game EVER), couldn't decide what to put down for "Delicious" (See brief explanation of Apples to Apples below), so I managed to convince her to put down "Crystal Balls", since we had been making a LOT of jokes about "balls" that day..... And she didn't really get the joke...... But I love her to pieces anyways.

-----

Apples to Apples is a game where you get 7 red cards with items or places or people (mostly celebrities) on them, and then the judge for that round pulls a green card that has a word on it. You can either try to put down a card that would represent that word (Like putting down the Grand Canyon for "Scenic") or you could try and be funny (Like playing "Smelly Socks", or "Orlando Bloom" instead) when everyone has played a card the judge looks at them all and picks a winner. It's really hilarious!!!

Weed brownies are delicious! Try 'em sometime~ :drool:<33

*dies* where to start?
"death by boooob slashing!"- voice dubing house of flying daggers
"cats with flys for arms..."-my friend sam said in her sleep
me-I'd kill to have a little japanese in me.
Ti-would you die for a big japanese in you?
"The bulge is real!" -about david bowe in the labrynth
"David Bowe's soul is made of spandex and glitter."
"sex on a list...list"
me-say i'm a piece of toast!
Co-i'm a piece of toast?
Me-no tell ME i'm a piece of toast!
Co-your a piece of toast.
Me-OMG i'm a piece of toast! *chomp*
togi- what is she on?
everyone- Air!

"What are you on and why aren't you sharing"
"hey guys! I'm a blood fountain!"-me getting my ears pierced at home
"it hurts to ow!"
Me-well your logic sucks!
Co-*buuuuuuuuuurp*
"this is kinda comfy no wonder dead people lay like this." rea in the trunk of the van.

"I'll let you hold my cheese" XD

Ahhhh, over the course of the years many stupid things have been said....
Mostly by me.
I think the best was in Physics one day.
Just imagine it's one of those revision sessions, that you're not taking much interest in. You've got your i-pod in one ear, and your friend to the left. Out of boredom, you rifle through the friend's pencil case, and find a sharpie!
Out of delight you examine it further, you know test it out, look at it etc etc.
Then, you turn around and say to the friend "_________ <(insert name here) What colour's you'r orange sharpie pen?"

i have a really wierd friend kelsi but she is a funny person the wierdest thing she has ever said was when she said (lets take our bags and go) then she grabbed hair but and left it was really wierd but it made me and my other friends laugh :D

Wow.

Just goes to show you how funny it can get when friends are weird.....

lol this thread is awesome
my friend max said one time: "don't be a glum plum, be a spunky punky!" :D still makes me laugh
and like two minutes ago i was on the phone with another of my friends, stephen, and he was being add-ish while playing a video game and i heard over the phone: "HIII!! my hair is tickling my eyes OMG KILL HIM!! i want to sing a song will you sing a song with me? my ferret is.. where'd you get that gun? OH NOOES I DIED!!! i had coffee earlier...." it was awesomely random ;)

I don't even know where to begin. My friends and I have the most epically weird conversations ever. I'll rattle off what I can remember right now~

"YOU COULD SEE UP HER LEAF!"

"I like pretending to be a vacuum cleaner. ... But it doesn't taste very nice."

There are heaps more, but I can't remember them right now haha =w=;

hmmmm let see, oh yea one time i was playing call of duty with my friends and she shoots, and then out of nowhere she says "No! No more cream puffs for you!!!" i fell off my seat i was laughing so hard.

"Your mom has tentacles" ... lol.