@morgankgoodwi: Its all really confusing O_o we split up because he thought we couldnt make each other happy, it actually changed last night after we went to the bar with all our roomys and had alot of fun and now hes telling me he still loves me... its confusing >.< I'm still moving out because we both think it would be best for our relationship.


@my diary xD

Thursday December, 31st, 2009
Dear Diary,
Wow... just wow... last night after he got home I tried just talking with him and I was still feeling that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach... But today its subsided a little and I should be really happy about what happened but more than anything I am still so confused! so heres what happened....

Last night he got home and we talked a little about each others day and all that other random stuff you try to start conversations with... well I was feeling pretty hungry and decided I would leave him be and go get food... well I was stopped in the living room and asked if i wanted to go with everyone to the bar and get my food there and just hang out with them and have fun, I agreed since i needed a night out and i didnt mind that he would be there too.

So we all headed out to the one down the road and snagged a table near the bar as soon as we got there, well im 20 mind you and as soon as the bartender brang the pitcher of beer he handed everyone including me a glass didnt card me or anything I guess its because two of the people we were with are regulars there and he just figured I was old enough... so yea I was stoked on getting drinks at the bar ^_^ it only happens to me every so often!

Anyways about six pitchers and a round of shots later we're all just having a good time, it was really fun I dont think I have had that much fun in a while because of my job so it was a really nice break... anyways we were there for about four hours... yea time flys when your having fun and we finally headed home

Me and him still sleep in the same bed..... yea i know thats a little wierd for a couple that split but I have nowhere else to go untill I find another place... so we started talking again but it wasnt as awkward and he opened up more and was telling me he still loves me, he still wants to be with me forever, and he was so happy I came out with them tonight because it made him see that we can make each other happy... but we are not actually back together, we are taking it slow again. I'm still moving into my new place, but now we are going to go out on a date once a week and work on ourselves instead of on each other... It still confuses me actually but I hope its going to work out because I really love him.

Off that subject and on to new years, Im going to get drunk and have fun tonight, I dont usually drink this much but its that time of year, its just funner to have a few drinks, I want to try to go to the strip and wander around the casinos if I cant get in there i'm still going to go over to my friends house and have fun there. Well I will be back tomorrow to tell you all about my adventures. <3 Syn