My family is huge on no sex before marriage, I'm also that way, so I was wondering, Once you're married is it ok to be a little kinky? I asked my mom (Awkward) and she said that it was ok, as long as it was only the two partners, so I'm wondering where does it cross the line for those of the Christian faith? How about any other religions?

And remember guys! PG-13! (saving the Mods)

(If this topic is to much, please delete it. Thanks!)

Well, what two people do behind closed doors is their own business.
It doesn't cross the line until one partner is forced to do something he/she is not comfortable with.

I can see that. I suppose I should clarify something though. Where is it to far for 'Christians'?

I'm Catholic, not a good one, but one to boot.
I don't know. There aren't really guidelines for something like that.
I guess it stops at manag a trois.

Lol I had to look that up. Isn't that sad? :P

I'm guessing that's where it might end too.

Originally Posted by Panic

Lol I had to look that up. Isn't that sad? :P

I'm guessing that's where it might end too.

That's fine. I probably spelled it wrong.
Well, who would know if you took it too far anyway?
Doesn't that depend on the people?

That's more of a Catholic thing than a Christan thing. Christianity is a general term for the religion.

But I have to tell you, Catholics pressed with that rule tend to break it anyway. One of my old roomies was one such person. She got pregnant her freshman year and dropped out. But from what I understand that really isn't that uncommon for those who are Catholic's from the bible belt (meaning sex before marriage).

Personally I favor the "marriage before sex" idea, but not because of religious reason. In fact I could really care less for religion, not saying I'm atheist, but all the same, I don't pay much attention to the faith I'm technically a part of (Methodist? can't even tell you what I am XP ). I just respect my body to much to be sexually active with anyone but a person I absolutely love and trust and know it's not just a flying thing.

That's a really good question, and I'm sure it was very awkward to ask your mother about. I know it'd be definitely awkward for me to ask my Mother about. I'm a Christian, but I don't go to church every Sunday, and I don't pray at every meal, etc. But I have my beliefs and I'm happy the way I am.

But as far as what draws the line for a Christian...I would agree with Scarling Zombie. I mean...even though I'm still a virgin and plan on being one for a while, I won't say that I'm 100% innocent. I've fooled around some, and I've enjoyed it.

For Christians...I suppose it would be when a third person is added to the mix or when oen of the two is uncomfortable with something the other insists they do, or something along those lines.

But Scarling Zombie is right; what two people do behind closed doors is their business, and their business alone. I know when my doors are shut after I get that ring on my finger...oh my. x)

I know some freaky/kinky married people.

*giggle* This topic made me laugh at first. I'm not christian. I'm far from it. But, I doubt what two people do in their bedroom [or other areas if involved?] is completely up to them. I don't think there's a rule about whether you can do one thing and cant do another. That's like making a law stating that you can only do Missionary... O_o;;

In truth nothing crosses the line. If your ok with it and the person your with it ok with it then there really is no line in sight. Its when you start trying to guess that other people exspect form that. dose that 'line' appear. I personality think that if your having fun and your safe, you shouldnt care what other think about the things your doing in bed. It none of their bussiness anyways.

I thought Christians aren't allowed to be kinky?

I've grown up in the Christian religion all my life pretty much, even went to a Christian private academy. Anyway, my parents agree with the whole "no sex before marriage" idea. I can't say that I have practiced that, lol, but my mom told me that she disagrees with adding any other partners and (I don't know how to say this without being blunt, sry) sex involving the "backdoor". Because, being Christian, she believes that God created us the way He did for a reason, meaning the "backdoor" was created to be an exit only, lol. Other than that, it's two peoples' business what they do.

Well, I was brought up LDS, and they're very strict no-sex-before-marriage-types.
Even though I'm not in that religion any more, I was told in sunday school classes that it was okay to be as experimental as you like with regards to sex, as long as it's only between you and your husband.

My best friend growing up is LDS and married now, and I know that they are into role-playing and dressing up.

maybe you should ask your priest (yeah i know they don't have sex) or some other religious figure?

No, it isn't. The boundaries are with what's natural and not sinful.

This is actually one of the interesting things that I think many Christians don't know/think about. Just because you're married to the person doesn't mean you can sin your brains out with them. The natural act isn't a sin if you're married to the person, so then you can do THAT... but there is a LOT of stuff that's wrong no matter if you're married to the person or not, because it's simply wrong in ITSELF, such as violence, the unnatural sin... those kinds of things are ALWAYS wrong, married or not, because they're intrinsically wrong.

From what I've read from Song of Solomon, being kinky (after marriage) is not only acceptable, but kind of ideal. (It is in the bible.)

I believe there are some lines worth not crossing. Involving others, including animals, probably not the best idea. Murder should probably not be involved, either.

Other then that, it's between a person and their partner.

Originally Posted by Yorihiko

No, it isn't. The boundaries are with what's natural and not sinful.

This is actually one of the interesting things that I think many Christians don't know/think about. Just because you're married to the person doesn't mean you can sin your brains out with them. The natural act isn't a sin if you're married to the person, so then you can do THAT... but there is a LOT of stuff that's wrong no matter if you're married to the person or not, because it's simply wrong in ITSELF, such as violence, the unnatural sin... those kinds of things are ALWAYS wrong, married or not, because they're intrinsically wrong.

What do you mean by "the unnatural sin"?

Also, "wrong" is a subjective notion, especially with regards to sex and sexuality, so you can't really run around telling other people what is right and wrong, only judge for yourself.

And lots of things aren't a "natural" part of sex, but that doesn't automatically make them "wrong".

Originally Posted by Cherish

What do you mean by "the unnatural sin"?

Also, "wrong" is a subjective notion, especially with regards to sex and sexuality, so you can't really run around telling other people what is right and wrong, only judge for yourself.

Thank heavens this is bologna. If it weren't, the one and only atrocious thing in this world would be human law, for morality being subjective, everyone would be JUSTLY entitled to do whatever the heck they felt like doing, no one having the authority to impose their personal morality on anyone else. The law would be the one and only sin or wrong in existence, and every other "atrocity" would be perfectly moral, under the personal moral law of those who commit them.

In other words, I'm sure that if someone came in and started butchering you and carrying away all of your things... you wouldn't be so keen on "personal morality" or think it so subjective anymore. If morality is subjective, then you cannot draw lines and call ANYTHING wrong, because you are no better than the next person.

Fortunately, that's as insane as saying the ground under your feet is subjective. And if it isn't subjective, then people "telling other people what is right or wrong" would be no worse than telling them the answer to a math problem, or the directions of how to get somewhere. Objective morality, being based in fact, rather than opinion, suggests information that holds true for all human beings everywhere, and therefore is information we can (and should) rightly share, like any other objective truth.

I'm talking about a sense of morality with regards to sexuality, Silly. :roll:
You do know that's what the thread is about, right?

And by your reasoning, if any sexual acts were "intrinsically wrong" they would be illegal.
So for example, whether or not you think orgies or BDSM are "wrong" is up to you, but they're not illegal, so you would have no right to flounce around on a soapbox telling other people that it's wrong for them to practice it, only refrain from doing so yourself.
Do you understand what I'm saying?

In my opinion, something is only "wrong" if it negatively impacts or in some way harms another person. Most laws in most regions are in keeping with my opinion... not "THIS IS BAD BECAUSE IT'S WRONG AND I SAY SO!"

i'd assume it's something like
no poop
no pee
no self mutilation
no drinking bodily fluids or rubbing them lovingly on each other
and most definitely no shoving hamsters in unholy places.

Originally Posted by Cherish

I'm talking about a sense of morality with regards to sexuality, Silly. :roll:
You do know that's what the thread is about, right?

Yes. As the topic name suggests, a question of CHRISTIAN morality. And in the Christian religions, morality is not subjective in ANY department of your life. Which, I assume, is why the original poster was asking versus just going ahead and doing whatever felt great.

Originally Posted by Yorihiko

Yes. As the topic name suggests, a question of CHRISTIAN morality. And in the Christian religions, morality is not subjective in ANY department of your life. Which, I assume, is why the original poster was asking versus just going ahead and doing whatever felt great.

False.
There are many different branches of Christianity, many of which have completely differing descriptions of what is "right" and what is "WRONG".
For example, some accept homosexuality while others do not; some accept sex before marriage while others do not; some accept female priests while others do not etc.

There are also some branches that do not specify what is right or wrong with regards to anything that is not expressly described in the Bible (and for some only the New Testament) and allow their members to make their own minds up about other issues... like exactly what you can do with your spouse in the bedroom.

In fact, I have a Christian friend whose particular branch of Christianity asks only that they believe in Christ, and their religion does not preach at all about what is moral and what is not.

So I highly recommend that you stop trying to proclaim that all branches of Christianity are identical to whichever branch you practice, 'kay?

Why not decide how far it's "okay" to go for yourself, instead of asking other people to tell you as though there's an objective answer? <w<

I'm not going to proclaim any such thing. There was only one Christ. One, not one million. The only REAL Christianity is to follow what that one, real, true, historical and Divine Christ, and what that one, real Christ ACTUALLY did teach.

Welcome to reality. In spite of how badly we wish it were otherwise, it's not a multiple choice affair. It simply is what it is, and those who don't think so are either ignorant or insane. Reality is this mean, nasty, undemocratic, stubborn-as-hell thing that exists all round us, whether we like it or not. Which means unfortunately, I can't just, say... re-invent mathematics, because I find them difficult or unpleasant, or they're not my style, or I'd like something else a lot better. And I can't make them go away, by simply deciding I don't like them or want to believe in them anymore.

Strangely enough, ALL of reality is like this. Now, I know this may be hard for some people to come to terms with but... I'm afraid that since all of us are stuck here in the same "mean, nasty, stubborn, undemocratic" reality... that means NONE of us get to escape it by simply not liking it, re-inventing it in our own heads, disbelieving it, what have you.

Now, Christ was REAL. God is REAL. Horror of horrors, that means He, too, belongs to that category of things that we can't do a darn thing about, and that we can't change by just not liking them, or re-inventing them. And, horror of horrors, even we make up our minds we don't like Him at all... like every other part of reality... He isn't going to disappear either! (GASP!)

What the heck am I going on about? Well, there is only ONE Christ. That is the reality. That REAL Christ founded only ONE, real Church. We're talking HISTORY here, not opinions. REALITY, not gooey emotions. Since Christ was real, and there is only one version of Him, there is only one "version" of what He really did teach. Again, HISTORICALLY. Not what we get when we're daydreaming on the couch after we've had a good meal. This means, horror of horrors, we can NOT invent any other "christ" or any other "version" of Christianity, or what Christ taught, because... HE WAS REAL. >gasp<

"Oh, doesn't this reality business just make you want to kick something?! How can it be so mean?! How can it ignore our personal freedom like this... Oh!" Well... I'm afraid that's just how it is.

Oh gosh... I guess that means there are an awful lot of counterfeit sects out there. Be that as it may, the fact is that in that reality I mentioned before... you know, the one we're all stuck in and can't just change by thinking hard enough... Christ is only what He is, and said only what He really said, and taught only what He really taught, and founded only the one Church He really did start.

I can't help it if a lot of men, hundreds of years after Christ founded His REAL Christianity, came along and decided they didn't like it and claimed to change it. That's called, "denying reality." But I also can't help it that the real article exists, and that it says what it says.

Just as there was only one Christ, there can be only one Christianity. He had one Church, not a million. We can say we don't like what He said, or whine and complain it's too hard to live up to, or try to pretend that by saying whatever we want, the reality changes... but sadly, it doesn't. Just like no other part of reality will change for us on a whim, and just like we can't make up our own "truth" about any other part of reality, and have IT become real.

What my response covers is what I know from THAT Church. (Not a million other churches made by random men later on.)

According to that Church, following it's guidance by the power of reason, the kinds of things suggested by the word "kinky" are prohibited. 1) they are against the godly virtue of chastity... which, for the ignorant, actually does mean more than just not sleeping around outside of marriage, but which rather refers to all behavior modest and proper to a soul belonging to God. 2) the sin of sodom was condemned QUITE explicitly in words along the lines of damnation. 3) anything along the lines of violence are prohibited because of the spirit of the law "thou shalt not kill," which ALSO covers doing any kind of bodily damage (not medical) to ourselves or others, because the body is meant to be the temple of the Holy Ghost.

Those who are familiar with the actual doctrine of that real, historical Christ (as opposed to the ones people invent like an imaginary friend... according to however they like to think of Him) , and the Church HE (not other men, later on) founded, will be able to verify those points. Anyone uncertain as to the accuracy of the doctrine, can read the many books of doctrine of historical antiquity that expound to the laity the teachings of Christ and the Bible about, among other things, matters of Christian purity, in and outside of marriage. Doctrine... not opinion. As in, "what Christ taught," not "what I feel like doing/thinking."

Far from spouting opinions, I couldn't give a rat's behind about opinions, my own, or anyone elses. If I want to get to heaven and not hell, opinions aren't worth a [email protected]#n. (Or rather, that's usually all they ARE worth.) If I want to get to the REAL Christ's REAL heaven, it's not hard for a rational mind to come to the conclusion that it will be on HIS (REAL) terms, and not according to whatever fantasy version of Him or His doctrine I liked best.

Fantasy, lies, errors, opinions... all of them are complete garbage, when it comes to any matter dealing with the reality in which we live. This is real life. Either we get to know reality, or reality kicks our butt. When human garbage smacks up against concrete reality, one of them gives way. And you can bet your bottom that it will be our butt, and not reality, that does the giving way. If everyone else on this earth was fine with living "however they want," and according to whatever garbage they can invent that makes them feel all good and gooey about themselves and their afterlife, that's their affair. For my part, I'm going to do like sane, rational, intelligent people do in every other area of life... look at reality, and go with that, even if it isn't fun, because those are the facts that will get the results.

It always makes me laugh when people say things like "that's just YOUR opinion." Or "that's YOUR choice." How much intelligence does it really take to look at the world around you, figure out that it doesn't change, no matter how we like it (or not), and then decide to do the only intelligent thing any rational person could do... learn the TRUTH, and live with it. Sorry, but... the world that exists around us isn't going to care what the heck we wanted. Everything real is simply what it is. Fantasy is great for having fun. But only an idiot would think of something as stupid as LIVING by it. (Whether it's your fantasy or someone else's.)

The fool who says there is no gravity, or who believes wholeheartedly that it will pull them up instead of down, will still fall, and be just as dead as the firmest believer in it. And that's why I don't do opinions when it comes to any part of reality. And this is an issue about that real God's real law.