Crying spells? What is it about that causes it? Is it just his mental condition or is it something much deeper? If the latter then it's really hard to let it go for too long. I hope things work out, it sounds like he may suffer from clinical depression. I get food stamps right now and I see people look down on me and sometimes the cashiers that are college students at the grocery stores. It doesn't really bother me, I think a lot of people for the most part arond here understand what it is like not to be able to make ends meet without some kind of assistance. People need to realize that you can lose everything in a blink of an eye. Poverty is never far around the corner for most of us.

I'm diagnosed officially, as a MD-NOS, however, I think they need to change the diagnosis, because, my "episodes" go in cycles of weeks/months & I have full blown hallucinations and disillusions during my "manic" phases now that I'm off my meds (I had been on medication from 12-17, and now that they're out of my system over the past year and a half it's been more apparent that it's not just a mood disorder).

It does sound like they need to change your diagnoses. Have you looked into making this happen? And also! Welcome to the thread. It's nice to meet you. :)

There are days when my emotional state is too fragile to deal with those kind of snide remarks and I'm afraid of crying in public, Locke.

I have emotionally fragile states myself when I get really sad but it doesn't happen too often. My partner however; he almost never cries about anything, his up bringing saying crying is for people who are weak really pisses me off. Tells me that because I'm a boy that I'm not supposed to cry and usually I get really mad and tell him he's a piece of shit when he does. I usually at that point let me emotions run wild and that isn't always a good thing. He is back on his medicine but he still has a lot to deal with before we can start getting him back on an even keel.

I've been on bipolar meds for about nine months, after I tried to kill myself for the third time. Our new doctor finally caught it, because my old one told me Bi-polar disorder didn't exist.
it's genetic in my family. As far as we can tell, my grandmother had it, my uncle has it, and I have it.
People deal with it in different ways. I usually never cry. Crying isn't a sign of weakness. it's a sign that you're more sensitive, and it's a safe way of releasing frustration.
People who get mad at other people for crying, I believe, are just mad becuase they want to find the strength to cry themselves, but can't.

Ugh, bad doctors. :stare: It's good that your new doctor caught what was happening.

Very well said, IadulDraculai, and welcome to the thread. :)

I just wanted to point out a little something. Most of us with mental issues, diagnosis, medications, and etc. probably often feel that we're alone. We feel afraid to let our bosses know for fear that they may suddenly think we're unreliable. We may be afraid of telling potential partners for fear that they will either see it as too much baggage or want to help but not know how.

That's another great thing about online anonyminity. Scribbled mentioned that this thread was expected to 'die off' but lo and behold, it keeps attracting more and more people each day. Here, you don't face the same judgements. The people likely to click the title of the thread probably do have something similar going on to you. Though each individual's plight (and help received and/or lackthereof) is unique, you will find many people here with more in common with you than you could have imagined.

If you've seen me elsewhere on the site, could you have imagined that I've been through my beforementioned medication rollercoaster (and I'm still on a moderate to high level of meds)? My guess is no.

At least you won't receive the dreaded "tired old advice from those who don't understand" here. Nobody will tell you to "stop thinking about the past" "pick yourself up and move on with your life" "think happy thoughts instead of the negative"

Anyways, virtual kudos, Scribbled.

Welcome to the thread, Kizzy!

And, oh my! Thank you, Crow. :sweat: But you're totally right - it wasn't until I was in the actual psych ward that I met other people who had bipolar disorder and now I go to a support group for people with bipolar. I never imagined there were so many other people who struggled with similar problems. Sure, I knew about the statistics but statistics are just that - statistics. They're not people you meet in group and in the waiting room of the therapist's office.

So I'm glad the thread hasn't died off even though I had expected it to. It's wonderful meeting each and every one of you. :)

That's wonderful, Kizzy.

In my experiences I've lost friends because of being bipolar. A lot of the times they couldn't understand what was going on with me and they eventually just blamed it on my personality. (Which might not be terribly wrong since I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but still.)

GeminiKizzy: - I know about chemical depression. It goes back at least five generations on my father's side of the family. I have depression. My father has had depression that I can remember from about age 6 on. His mother has always been depressed and one time they put her on medication and did better but when she found out what it was she stopped taking it and became depressed. Her mother was catatonic, would sit and stare. Then my great grandfather died in a mental institution because they didn't have the happy little zoloft bubble back in the day.

I currently take 60 mg cymbalta - SNRI + 20 mg Paxil/paroxitine.

Dude - totally hear ya. I'm on 120mg of Cymbalta plus buspar if that doesn't cut it. Most of the time I'm fine. I've been around long enough to learn helpful tools and have a wonderful support system. However, sometimes meds aren't enough. They are great tools but episodes can still happen. It drives me crazy when I have an episode and someone asks "haven't you been taking your meds? Maybe you need a different dose." Ugh! Sorry - mini-rant over. ;p

This is the place for those kinds of mini rants! Or big rants too.

I dislike how once people learn about your illness suddenly everything - mostly negative, some positive - is attributed to it.

I've had practically zero success with medication for my depression. I already had the feeling before I started that it wouldn't do anything and I turned out to be correct. I think my mind is too resilient to those kinds of influence. I got side effects of anti-depressants (such as night sweats and being unable to produce tears) but never any mood benefit. Thankfully I improved enough from two courses of CBT that I was able to drop the drugs entirely.

CBT, Darke?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Between my pain management and group recommendations at the county mental health facility I've had a few classes. As opposed to just going and venting which I've done for years, it teaches you how to identify your thoughts and try to change them, which is really damn easier said than done. That and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy are the two things that are actually proven to help with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I need to remember to ask about both of these when I'm in group on Tuesdays. :stare: :sweat:

I had to skip my CBT today, and I don't think I can return to that exact group until the cycle starts over. Last week I had somebody important with me and when two out of the eight people said one was worried about confidentiality and the other just said 'it's unusual'... it endedup with me having a panic attack, cryign for half an hour, wanting to punch a wall, I had to admit that I felt picked on and was developing a grudge to the two who 'voted against me'. The younger asian lady said she didn't know it had such a deep rooted impact and would be fine letting the person come back. The old lady, though I gave her helpful comments throughout the group (good job getting that positive feedback at work, etc), she never apologized or anything for giving me that much anguish. If i go back I will want to tip her chair (not cause serious harm) then refuse to apologize and act like nothing at all happened.

I couldn't let this happen so I went the avoidance route. I might have to see if my therapist has another group that's not on a tight time schedule that I can get in on until I wait for this one to cycle around again, but as long as that person is there I feel targeted, at odds, and not comfortable. I'm even pissed at myself for playing nice and not punching a wall or leaving the room myself. I played too nice. Nice people get stepped on by the rest of the world.

-grr-