In my Canadian Families class, we had a discussion on gay men and women in sports. Now that's just fine and dandy, I don't have ANY problem with gay people, I don't think I'd consider it for myself, although I used to think I was gay, and so I know the pressures. But one girl said, "Why do gay people have to say they are gay?"

I agree with her, because a straight person doesn't have to stand up and say, "Oh hey guys, I'm straight." Being gay is different, I get that, but we shouldn't be concerned with people who are different. We should be concerned about their personalities. I guess it's kind of that dream of a perfect world, kind of thing, where differences are forgotten, or embraced.

What's your opinion on what the girl said?

Yea I agree with the girl. I mean why throw a mini parade saying your gay? You don't see straight people or any one who likes to be labeled saying what they are.

Originally Posted by FreeHugChick

Yea I agree with the girl. I mean why throw a mini parade saying your gay? You don't see straight people or any one who likes to be labeled saying what they are.

Exactly.
It's not as though we should have to advertise our sexualities. I get that people have pride and want to raise awareness, but if that's not everyone's goal, it might not happen.

I believe they say they are gay, just for attention. Because look at how many people jump when someone shouts they are gay. Me personally I'm happily(ish) married with a son. I once thought I was Bi. But that didn't last. I don't have anything against gays either, but if I see them making out near my son, I'mma pitch a big ass fit. That's just something a 3(almost 4) year old needs to see, yah? But seriously. Maybe us straight people should start a big straight person thing lol. Maybe they'd get the point? Nah, doubt it.

People come out of the closet and announce their sexuality because that is the only way that society will ever view them as the person that they are. :yes:

Right now, being straight is the default. If you meet a new person, that's the assumption that you automatically make about their sexuality. We see it as "normal" and "regular." There's no reason for a person to ever announce that they are straight because everyone already knew that they were. But for a person who is gay or bisexual, that can hurt. A lot. It isn't right for anyone to make that presumption when we're all supposedly so aware of alternative sexualities.

Coming out of the closet is a way of challenging our society's heteronormativity. I can guarantee you that it isn't for attention, it isn't to feel special, and it isn't just for the sake of being different. Our society today is incredibly heteronormative and this is a huuuuuuge problem for us right now. It's going to take a lot of work for communities everywhere to get out of that mindset. ;)

I don't automaticly assume someone's straight or gay. I don't really care if they are or not. But to me, when someone's flaunting that they are gay or bi, they are asking for attention. I'm terrably sorry if what I said offended anyone. I don't honestly care. I know being gay isn't a choice, but it's not something I want my son seeing or hearing everywhere. Children should not be subjected to that. I understand that everyone has their own rights. But how are we all supposed to live in this world together, when one or the other is ALWAYS making a BIG deal about nothing. If everyone has to live in this world together, and if we are setting the world for our children to grow up in, shouldn't we be more worried about what's not approperate for them?

I don't think sexuality should be a defining feature of who someone is, it's not a defining feature for me at least. I think every single person is more than just a sexdrive, if they want to be.

Now, I have no problem with people "coming out of the closet." That's a very important moment, to learn one's sexuality, and be able to share it with others...But I don't think every person you meet or know, needs/wants to know. I don't think you should have to tell them, at least. I think it's a very personal thing, and not everyone needs to know. It's one thing for your best friends, or your parents to know, but lets say you just met someone, do you instantly have to tell them you're gay? No. You don't.
Though, I think depending on the situation, it might matter and be appropriate. Like, if you were on a dating site, or looking to meet someone at a bar, it's a lot more appropriate then to be all, "hey this is what I'm into."

But it's almost like talking about your penis/vagina in public, you know? >__>;;

I think people who tell everyone and repeat themselves about being gay a lot, are just looking for attention....However I know not every gay person does that, and I don't want to give the assumption that I think all gay people do it.

Originally Posted by Royal Knight

Children should not be subjected to that. I understand that everyone has their own rights. But how are we all supposed to live in this world together, when one or the other is ALWAYS making a BIG deal about nothing. If everyone has to live in this world together, and if we are setting the world for our children to grow up in, shouldn't we be more worried about what's not approperate for them?

So, gay isn't appropriate for children? By saying this, you're also saying that gay people should not have children because being gay isn't something for children to be around. If openly gay couples shouldn't be affectionate around kids, straight couples shouldn't be affectionate around kids either. There's no difference between the two PDA situations besides one not being understood by you.

I understand what you're getting at, I agree with not making a huge deal out of being gay at all hours of the day. I don't agree that simply bringing it up from time to time 'making a big deal about it' or seeking attention. As Knerd said, if you don't say you're gay, people won't know. Not only is it not something to be ashamed of and hidden, but it's love. Someone might not be able to find love unless someone knows they're gay. Straight people often bring up being single the same way gay people bring up being gay. It's not just for attention, they're getting themselves out there because people want love.

I made a whole rant in another thread about not making being gay their defining feature, but that doesn't mean hiding it.

I don't get those people that randomly announce their sexuality regardless of what it is. If you meet someone that's an interest then I get it because you can't find a partner if you don't know if they're interested. I get hit on by guys all the time so I tell them I'm gay and to go look for another romatic interest. I see nothing wrong with that since I'd get pretty pissed off if a guy kept hitting on me so I do tell them right up front in situations like that.

However, most people don't even know I date women unless they see me with my girlfriend. I agree that those people who go around announcing their gay are looking for attention for the most part. Pride events are awesome though. The reason that I see nothing wrong with them is that there is a lot of violence and hatred towards the community and when there's an event it's a chance to be who you are without having to worry about someone making a remark about how same sex couples shouldn't be together or having someone try to start a fight with you over it.

I don't know a lot of gays who go out and say it to just anyone, for the most part they'll mention it casually if someone asks and then never again

I know this one guy, Todd, who has SUCH an active libido he almost brags about being gay just in case someone says 'hey me too' and then he can propose they go have sex somewhere

but as for the people who flat out say it, I find some of the types to do this are just recently out of the closet, or just recently discovered it and are still getting used to accepting it themselves

Originally Posted by Jovial

So, gay isn't appropriate for children? By saying this, you're also saying that gay people should not have children because being gay isn't something for children to be around. If openly gay couples shouldn't be affectionate around kids, straight couples shouldn't be affectionate around kids either. There's no difference between the two PDA situations besides one not being understood by you.

I understand what you're getting at, I agree with not making a huge deal out of being gay at all hours of the day. I don't agree that simply bringing it up from time to time 'making a big deal about it' or seeking attention. As Knerd said, if you don't say you're gay, people won't know. Not only is it not something to be ashamed of and hidden, but it's love. Someone might not be able to find love unless someone knows they're gay. Straight people often bring up being single the same way gay people bring up being gay. It's not just for attention, they're getting themselves out there because people want love.

I made a whole rant in another thread about not making being gay their defining feature, but that doesn't mean hiding it.

I'm not saying the shouldn't have children. Everyone has that right. But the child of a straight couple, shouldn't have to ask what those two men were doing on the park bench. I'm saying that the ones who constantly go on and on about beign gay, are the ones making a bid deal about it. I mean honestly, you've already said your gay. That's all we need to know. I understand it's love. Everyone has the right to love. I'm just saying. The ones that scream they are gay, and then make law-suits about it when they don't get their way, those are the ones I don't like. But the regular everyday ones who state they are gay, and just go about their lives like normal, those are the alright ones. Like I said, I'm sorry if my thoughts and opinions offend anyone. I just thought everyone was supposed to share their thoughts and opinions. I know not everyone agrees on everything, but that doesn't mean that someone can be bashed because they see things differently. I'm not saying anyone's bashing me, I'm just stating a fact.

Gay's can have children all they want. One of my friends is the daughter of a lesbian. It doens't bother me, because her parents never flaunted it. All I'm trying to say, is that the ones who flaunt it, like making out on the park bench, are the ones I'm talking about.

I'm not saying that couples can't be affectionate around children. I'm saying that I don't want to take my son to walmart and have him ask why those two men were kissing.

A child that grows up in a gay home, will understand gayness better than a child who didn't. My aunt is Bi and I don't judge her.

i agree why should people announce their sexuality at a random time. it's not right to assume someone's gay or straight. thats for them to tell you if they choose. That person just simply put it out there that's all

I honestly don't care if someone is gay or straight, that doesn't mean a thing to me. You're straight? Great. You're gay? Wonderful.

After a while, it does tend to get annoying. I get that people have a sense of pride in their sexuality, skin color, nationality, and whatnot, that's fine and dandy -- I won't stop you from it. But I really think that, unless someone asks or it's really obvious, please don't bring it up at a random time. Especally if it doesn't really pertain to the disscussion at hand.

Originally Posted by Royal Knight

I'm not saying that couples can't be affectionate around children. I'm saying that I don't want to take my son to walmart and have him ask why those two men were kissing.

I hate to butt in and draw things out, but I have to ask: Why? Is it so difficult to explain to a child (especially keeping in mind that children are much more open-minded, as they are still learning about the world) that people are different? When two men kiss, it is no different than when a man kisses a woman. There isn't some deep, dark secret behind it; it's just a fact of life that not everyone is exactly the same. I would think that this would be a wonderful lesson for anyone who wants to raise an intelligent and tolerant child to teach. Would it also be a problem for him to see a man and a woman kissing? If not, then I am sensing some discomfort with the concept of homosexuality, despite what the rest of your post(s) may have stated.


As for the topic at hand, there is a reason that homosexuals are more prone to making a point of their orientation as opposed to heterosexuals. As has been explained in previous posts, they are not the norm and that causes a lot of issues in many situations. With all the negative attitudes that exist toward homosexuality, the only way to make people see it as more of a normal thing and not a big deal is to first get over the roadblock of making them notice it and see that it does happen and isn't hurting anyone--nor is it going to go away if they simply try to pretend that it doesn't exist. Also, announcing one's sexuality and getting it out in the open is a way of coping for many people and a way to ensure that they are accepted and understood by their peers. While "rubbing it in your face" may be annoying, some people are indeed trying to get used to the idea, themselves; it's not just about making sure you hear them.

Re: the first post:
I have actually had to say, on several occasions, "Oh hey guys, I'm straight"

I want to say I agree with the girl from your class. However I am wary she is not making the assertion from the same position as me. Although in saying that, I absolutely believe that people should not be required to declare their sexuality. My reasoning being that I do not think society should be heteronormative.

Originally Posted by Angel Song

I don't know a lot of gays who go out and say it to just anyone, for the most part they'll mention it casually if someone asks and then never again

This. I only know one gay person who likes to announce it. First of, I'd hate him regardless of sexuality because he's foolish and self centered. Besides, even he doesn't technically announce it, he just moulds himself to fit every possible stereotype of flamboyancy so that people know.
Anyways.
I don't think most gay people announce it, but when they're vaguely media integrated like an athlete would be, other people announce it for them.

And when I read "Why do gay people have to say they are gay?" I was like um.... Don't ask don't tell? Ew.

In my opinion, there are two kinds of people who acknowledge their homosexuality.

For instance, there's my best mate who only tells people he is gay if they ask him out and they're of the opposite gender.

Then there is this lesbian couple i used to know who would bring it up at every occasion and expect some form of sympathy for the 'tough time' they have.

The fact of the matter is, if its vital to mention it, say it. If it has sod all to do with the topic or situation, keep it under your hat.

I agree with Knerd.

If a gay men went into a bar with straight men. And looked no different. He'd probably have no luck whatsoever in finding himself a match. Because women would be attracted to all 3 (providing they were also looking for straight men of course)

I think Gay men annouce it and dress differently because its alot harder to be noticed if you just look and act like everybody else.

No, straight people don't walk around with a sign above their heads saying they're straight. But alot of gay people don't either. Those that want to meet a man, probably would make it more obvious. Unless their was a place just for the gay generation to go and hang out without having to proove who they were and what they were.


As for everything else. its too touchy for me to comment on. I have no problem with gay people having children, providing they intend to be just like any other good parent out there, and its not just for attention, or for an accesory, like Elton John seems to be giving the impression for recently.

Originally Posted by Lavinia

As for everything else. its too touchy for me to comment on. I have no problem with gay people having children, providing they intend to be just like any other good parent out there, and its not just for attention, or for an accesory, like Elton John seems to be giving the impression for recently.

XDD Just saying, Elton John isn't the only person to treat a baby like an accessory...See 16 and Pregnant on MTV. XP
Straight people can be bad parents too.

/just wanted to add that on there.

Royal Knight: I'm just trying to say that what you're saying is very contradictory. Couples can be affectionate around kids, just not yours? Only gay couples' kids? As Glitter said, it's not that hard to explain to a kid that some relationships are between a boy and a girl, some are between a boy and another boy, and some are between a girl and another girl, because they love each other. They have to learn eventually, otherwise you're feeding the ignorant intolerance problem, in my opinion.

You do have a right to your opinion, as we have a right to ours. I'm just trying to figure yours out because it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

also, a wonderful quote:

Today, I was at a restaurant with a friend of mine for lunch.
Two men walked in holding hands. A little girl said to her mom, “Mommy, why are they holding hands?” Her mother replied, “Because they’re in love with each other.”
Our new generation being taught same-sex love is okay GMH.