Things not to say to a cop:

1.I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2.Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you that guy from the Village People?.

4.I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

5.Bad cop! No donut!

6.You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?.

7.Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?.

8.Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

9.What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

10.Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Post your funny things to not say to cops.

I had a friend of mine, who I was driving home from a bar, tell the cop he was "drunk off his ass" before when I got pulled over for a headlight being out. I was like "Really, shut up and just go to sleep or something". The cop just laughed and told me that I had to get my light replaced.

Originally Posted by Mystic

I had a friend of mine, who I was driving home from a bar, tell the cop he was "drunk off his ass" before when I got pulled over for a headlight being out. I was like "Really, shut up and just go to sleep or something". The cop just laughed and told me that I had to get my light replaced.

lol, I would have told my friend the same thing if I was in your position.

reminds me of two facebook likes

Cop: sir your eyes are red have you been drinking?
driver: officer your eyes look glazed have you been eating donuts?

or

When a cop tells you you have 'the right to remain silent anything you say will be used as evidence in a court of law' your next line should be 'please officer don't hit me again!'

1. If a cop asks you if you know how fast you were going, say "I dunno, you tell me"

2. If you see a cop yell "Oh shit! Cops! Run!" and then you just start running (works better if you're both on foot)

Originally Posted by Syraannabelle

reminds me of two facebook likes


or

Lmfao, the second one is funny as hell.
All of the ones you guys posted are super funny.

Oh gosh.
I'm always lucky enough to be the designated driver for my friends.
So, this one time they were stoned horridly.
And I was driving them to the mall and my friend has his head out at a stop light.
A police car was next to mine, the conversation went something like this:

Dumbass: Hey! HEY! I'm talking to you rubber neck!
Police guy: ...
Dumbass: Fawk the police! GO ELLA GO!

Luckily, the cop was cool enough to ignore my idiot friend.