So, I'm very upset with our so called justice system right now.
I won't mention names, but I will tell you what happened.

My friend/s have 3 kids.
One of these three kids who's 7 told his teacher yesterday that his dad BEAT him with a belt, and that he's a monster.
So the principal called the CAA (Childrens aid) on them.
They questioned the kids without my friend being there...
Which to me is wrong.
And they didn't explain to the kids what exactly was going on when they took them to the police station...also wrong.

Long story sort of short:
The dad (who LOVES his kids) is now being charged with 3 counts of assault because he punished his 7 yr old son by hitting him on the hand with a flat cloth belt for not cleaning his room for 5 days.
They found NO MARKS on the other 2 kids either.

These people love their kids, treat them like gold, give them what they want, and now their seem as bad parents for punishing their kids in a non harsh manner.
They don't beat their kids.

And to make things worse, he can't have any contact with his kids for like a year...or more.

I honestly can't believe that this family is being destroyed over nothing.
I could see if they beat their kids, left welts on them, ect ect....but they don't.

And the charge is bogus too.
He did not assault his kids.

Anyways, after the Caa worker left, my friend had to explain to her kids what all just happened, because they didn't know.
They all broke down crying that they loved their dad and that they were sorry....if they were being abused, they wouldn't have cried and said they loved him and wanted him home.

What do you consider child abuse?

Neglect, beatings, constant verbal abuse (Way worse than a smack on the Bum if you ask me, and there is no law against it!) alcoholism, drug dependency... they usually lead to neglect. There is also the type of abuse that gives responsibility way too early. Have you seen the movie with Drew Barrimore, "Girls who ride in cars with boys" or something. That movie talks about the Mum being dependent on the son for cleaning, cooking etc.
On the other hand, constant pandering to a child's whims, giving them everything they demand and letting them think they are the center of the universe is also very damaging.
What happened to your friend is appalling. Surely a social worker is counseling him and getting to the bottom of it? Do they leave him to "Mend his wicked ways" all by himself? If not then the authorities will get to know him and find out the truth of the matter. Men are so often guilty til proven innocent. It is a terrible side effect of feminism. (That will upset a few people, sorry, but I do believe it. I was a teenager in the 80's and a saying was often quoted "All men are rapists" I saw it undermine the self confidence of so many young men, especially at teachers college.)

Yeah, it's sad that society does place a "guilty" sign on any man accused of a crime even if he's innocent.

They take the kids to the side without the parent because sometimes in actual abuse cases the abuser will intimidate the kids into not telling the truth. So no, having the kids alone is not wrong. It is sad that now a days you can hardly even punish your kids without someone accusing you of abuse. I see nothing wrong with a smack on the bum if the kid doesn't mind. There is a difference between a light smack and beating them and some people can't see the difference.

Hopefully things work out for your friend.

Thanks.
They don't beat their kids, they both love their kids.
I just don't understand how these days you basically can't punish your child and have to let them walk all over you.
I'm sorry, but just telling a kid "No" or "go stand in the corner" isn't effective as punishment.
I'm not saying beating kids is ok, it's far from ok.
But this family rarely ever punishes their kids, and one smack on the hand and it's all over for them.

I don't know, I'm mad and frustrated at the whole situation.

Yea, one of the managers where I work had child protection called on her because she smacked her kid on the bottom. She spoils her kid and doesn't beat her but they treated it like an abuse case because of what this lady in a parking lot of a CVS said. It was sad. Luckily, the whole thing was thrown out due to "lack of evidence". People jsut need to mind their own sometimes.

I think parents have the right to bring up their children how they want to--to an extent, no permanent/long term damage. A red bum from a spanking = ok. Bruises/broken bones = NO!

Spankings and a good whap once in a while might be "harsh" but some kids are just incredibly unruly and nothing else will get their attention, or remind them that it's not a good thing to do.
Kids also lie, chances are that boy heard one of his classmates, teachers, or someone on TV say that's what happened to them or to so and so, and so he decided to exaggerate and make up a good story for attention. He probably does not realize the ramifications that may happen to him and his family, and that he may get thrown into foster care and worse may be done to him.

That said, I was beaten, and no matter how many times I told people about it, showed bruises, showed where my hair had been ripped right from my head, nothing was done.
My dad spanked me (which sucked, but I accepted, because I was a fucking monster child and I knew it), but the nanny my parents hired before they died, beat me after they died and my brother never did shit about it. She was "let go" not because she was beating me, but because my brother didn't want to pay her anymore. And then the other woman he had hired, started sexually harassing me (slapping my ass and groping my breasts) until I screamed at her about it. But now its just evolved to: every time I go home she hits me if I say anything to her she doesn't like, and if I so much as raise my voice, she gets me in assloads of trouble....Neither of which ANYTHING helps for. I've told my brother, I've tried speaking to her. But it just gets her angier and she makes up even more elaborate stories.

So, yeah. There are real cases of abuse, that go unnoticed or unbelieved, and cases that are just kids being kids. I wish I knew how to filter out the different situations, find the real abusers from the disciplinarians... but...:(

*sigh* This is why parents should ALWAYS read up on what is or isn't legal with regards to punishing their children BEFORE deciding upon which punishments to use. We've all got internet access; look it up. The information's there.

While it does seem that in this particular case the punishment of the parents was way too harsh, it's not like it's hard to research what is or isn't legal in your area. For example, I personally would never hit my child, under any circumstances (not because I believe it's abusive, just because in our house we teach that hitting is unacceptable and we lead by example, not hypocrisy)... but I still know that in my country, it is illegal to hit a child with anything other than an open palm (no fists, no implements) and never above the shoulders. It's not even relevant to me, but I still took the time to research it, because it's the kind of thing a parent should know.

And I know a lot of people will disagree with me here, but I've worked with children and with social services before, and no, I don't believe it's wrong that the children were questioned without their parents present. Children that are abused will often only admit to their abuse when their parents are not present, because they fear punishment if their parents know they've told someone. It's very, very common.
Also yes, many abused children do still love their parents and don't want to be taken away from them. That's very common, too. A friend of mine once fostered a pair of little boys whose mother abused them horribly, including burning their upper thighs with a lighter as a punishment, and they still cried to go home to her.

But anyway, in the case described in the OP, no, I don't believe it was child abuse. But it does seem odd that the children were taken away without evidence, such as marks and bruises etc. Isn't there a way to contest it?

As someone who was really rescued from an abusive parent, I find your story, xMinkzx, absolutely appalling! It's just AWFUL. I met with psychologists, child therapists, police, etc., so that they could get a better understanding of what truly was happening to me. Granted, though, I can understand why they weren't in the presence of a parent at the time they were questioned. Truly abused children would be too afraid to speak to someone if they were around an abusive parent- and/or a parent might try to speak for the child in defense for themselves.

However, when I was questioned, it didn't matter that my family wasn't with me, I was still very afraid to talk to them and it took me a while to open up. These children don't sound like they were abused, but it does seem like they were a bit willful.

wow thats sad...thats just not right.
I have seen REAL child abuse and thats not it!!

Originally Posted by monstahh`

But now its just evolved to: every time I go home she hits me if I say anything to her she doesn't like, and if I so much as raise my voice, she gets me in assloads of trouble....Neither of which ANYTHING helps for. I've told my brother, I've tried speaking to her. But it just gets her angier and she makes up even more elaborate stories.

Monstahh that's terrible, have you gone to the police, or a social worker? Are you old enough to live somewhere else?

If you smack your kid for being a dumbass, it's called parenting.

If you smack your kid for just being a kid, it's called child abuse.

Originally Posted by carzeemumbear

Monstahh that's terrible, have you gone to the police, or a social worker? Are you old enough to live somewhere else?

I did, but she "found nothing wrong" and then I "aged out" and she stopped coming.
I moved away, but every time I go home to visit them (because they are family and I want to love them and have good relationships with them), this whole line of shit starts up, and there's jack shit I can do. :gonk:

It's still frustrating though, I really really wish there was a better way to determine abuse, and a better way to help those who are being abused. I really truly do, as someone who has experienced it...It sucks.
And even from seeing it happen to others as well, there's only so little that can/will be done until someone gets horribly hurt, or even killed.

Wow. That really is crap. >:/
I hope somehow something can be figured out to prove his innocence?
It just goes to show that (assuming you're in the USA) you're GUILTY until proven innocent, not innocent until proven guilty.

Thats why you never hit a kid, even if it left no mark he still hit him...

Mental abuse: such as yelling at kids for really nothing..like, if they didn't clean their rooms for a few days. And by yelling; I mean straight in the face, military talk, even SPITTING in the kids face. That's mental abuse.
Physical abuse: Your kids did something, and you choose to take it out on the kid with touching them, throwing something hard at them, yeah.
I, know most about this, because I, go through it myself.
It actually gets worse if the parents are heavy alcoholics..because either they ignore you too much, or they're in your face too much to be all annoying, or just really want to hurt you for no reason.. I hate child abuse. I don't even like talking about it.

My father was definitely abusive. Besides the hitting and such he also would not let me bathe unless he was present, spanked me bareassed, and made me stand naked for hours while he sketched pictures of me. Is it incest? I certainly felt it was, even if he never actually raped me.

My stepfather was abusive also. He yelled at me constantly, sabotaged me at chore doing (would take cups I had just cleaned and put them back in the oily water), walked into my room unannounced when i was changing, and once even tried to strangle me.

Nonetheless I love my stepfather but despise my real father.

Now why is this?

When he wasn't yelling at me my stepfather did what he could to educate me. He would sit me down and play me classical music, explaining at length why one version of a piece was better than another in his opinion. He would recommend me books and movies and then listen to my opinion when I told him what I thought of them.

Years later he apologized for being abusive; "I was trying to straighten you out with a sledgehammer" but I told him it was all good.

My real father denies he did anything wrong by me. After all those years since we left to be in the care of my stepfather he did not try to contact me until I was an adult, and then only to try to find my brother thru me. When I told him I didn't need him in my life he continued to try to guilt trip me thru emails and rude comments on my webpage until I've had to block him on every social network.

What do you think? Which man was the worse of the two?

Quite frankly OP, You are fucking retarded. If a child is being abused in NO WAY should the parents EVER be notified until the END of the investigation. It is there to protect the children. If they did not do this and they are being abused the abuse will continue. I was a child who was abused growing up. I know how people act in front of family and friends when they are truly getting their high off it. I would prefer if you did not say the system was corrupt when you obviously have no fucking idea what its like or why it is there because you are to adsorb in protecting your friends appearance. There are thousands of kids out there everyday who get beat, hit, raped, emotionally and physically abused and YOU want the parents to know when an investigation opens? Pfft. You are in the same boat as the parent in my opinion. You have no concern for protecting the child, just the appearance of the parent.

If the CAA/CPS found nothing wrong with the living situation or didn't find anything to classify child/domestic abuse. Then your friend(s) have nothing to worry about. If they are restricting him then they found something. If CAA/CPS is taking his kids away from him, then they are most likely in a safer place. Since the investigations can take up to 30 days. I know this because I am going over the same thing with my sister right now and the household she is in right now. I get almost no sleep anymore cause I am so fucking worried. But you know what. How about I call that fuckstick she is with and tell him I opened an investigation so he can run off with her and continue to abuse her. Is that what you fucking want?

Go ahead and report me. Still doesn't neglect the fact you brought up a sensitive topic with a stupid opening and lack of any knowledge about how the Child Protective Services work in the United States of America. Along with the freedom of speech towards people like you. Welcome to America.