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-   -   Thoughts on Romance (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68065)

Secret 09-28-2007 10:17 PM

Thoughts on Romance
 
  • I was chatting with some of the ladies of Menewsha last night, and got on the topic of romance and being a complete dork for my girlfriend. I've heard that not all girls are into that. The flowers, the little notes tucked into your car visor, surprise gifts for no reason at all..

    I've always gone out of my way to bring romance to my relationship. My guy friends are always bagging on me, saying I'm whipped or whatever. But I don't feel that way at all. I do it because, I love her. Because I want her to feel special, to feel like the only girl in my life, to make her blush. All that cheesy stuff.

    My mom always said the way to keep a girl is by putting yourself out there and sweep her off her feet. Because she'll remember the times you surprised her with her favorite candy, or sat outside her window and sang and sang until she agrees to go on that first date.

    So, ladies. Discuss! How do you feel about guys being romantic? And to the gents of the site, do you bother to try such silly acts of love to make a girl smile? Is it lame? Romantic? Sweet? Only for the geeks?

    <edit> I've been with my girl five years. I didn't just fall in love overnight. It took time. Just so everyone knows. ^_^

BrokenHearted 09-28-2007 10:19 PM

Being suprised with candy and flowers is always good but sitting outside a window and not leaving until someone agrees to something is a little bit creepy to me. ^^;

I don't think you should stop trying to be romantic, I think you should just tailor your approach for each different girl you try to woo. <3

Secret 09-28-2007 10:21 PM

  • Haha. I've only thrown myself at one girls mercy. I was outside her window for about an hour, only to find out.. she wasn't home! She left her light on. But when she finally did pull up, she totally ignored me for 10 minutes, then came down, and agreed to go out with me.

    I guess she likes the creepy guys.

Sanctuary 09-28-2007 10:24 PM


I thnk it's sweet to do little things like that, but be careful not to do them to often.

If you do, she will start to expect it and will think of it as necessity instead of kindness.

Shadowfflur 09-28-2007 10:25 PM

Little surprises are always nice, but when its done constantly and can seem a bit much. Especially if the relationship is new or unstable.

I have to admit though, that some of the best memories I have are just going out and doing something with my husband. Like I'll always remember when we first moved to the east coast, and he drove me out to the beach just in time for the sun to set and us to touch the water. It was so sweet and even though we got totally attacked by a million bugs, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Knerd 09-28-2007 10:35 PM

I like a fair amount.

The only problem with a romantic boyfriend is that they tend to 'surprise' you all too often, and you take many of their gifts for granted. A girl can only appreciate flowers every once in a while. Give her a new bouquet each week, and she'll learn not to notice it after a while. It just won't be special anymore.

I love it when guys bust out with the romance on special occasions. It makes me feel loved. But to be showered with attention all the time can be both uncomfortable and annoying.

Dystopia 09-28-2007 10:39 PM

I haven't really had a boy act that way toward me at any time, so the most stupid things that went out of date five years ago can make my day brighter than it was. I wouldn't think it was cheesy if a boy came up to me and slipped me a love note, or taped a rose on my locker for me to find when I got there. I would be charmed that I was getting attention, and honestly, I think I need it. I'm not that sure of myself when it comes to my love life, and if it ever got to that point, I think I'd be beyond paranoid about loosing him. ._.;;

But there's also that factor of overdoing the entire thing. If you don't give her a moment's peace with the entire matter, she'll either get sick of it or just stop apprecating it as a special treat. So... Just keep up what you're doing, just... Tone it down a bit. If that makes sense, at least.

Amo_Angelus 09-28-2007 10:47 PM

I think it's wonderful! I feel special everytime my bloke does things like that and I'm sure your girl does too. Don't stop! The world needs more men like you!

Secret 09-28-2007 10:52 PM

  • Well yes, in moderation of course. If I gave her something everyday day, or every week even, I'd imagine she would get rather bored or think I was doing it out of habit.

mangacatgirl 09-28-2007 10:54 PM

Personally (This is just my opinion, so don't take it to heart) I think romance is great... on paper. Generally early on romance turns out to be nothing more than a nice way to snag a girl and possibly get what you want out of her (Or the other way around for a girl to get a guy... but generally guys don't care so much about it so we'll stick to the guy romancing the girl scenario). And even when sincere... it never lasts. It may last a year... maybe two... But it wont last for the rest of your lives. At best it'll last a while, die down, then at some point it'll be brought back into the relationship again... at least until it dies another time around. : /

Maybe I'm just a bitter old biddy though... But this has been my experience and these are my views on what I've seen happen and experienced happen. So... Take it for what it is, I suppose ^.^; Just don't take it personally.

Dystopia 09-28-2007 10:57 PM

In that case, you're worrying too much. I wouldn't mind a nice man that paid attention to me like that!

Secret 09-28-2007 11:00 PM

  • I know what you mean, Manga. I hope I can beat the odds and still excite my girlfriend for years to come. But I'm still young, and horribly optimistic.

Aliena 09-28-2007 11:04 PM

I love romance and have found in my own life that while the little gestures may not come as often as they did in the dating phase, they still come and each time they do, I feel a warm fuzzy. I've been with my guy...wow...almost 10 years? We'll have been married 8 years come January.

Secret - I think what you're doing is wonderful! I think it should be from the heart, certainly - doing it not because you feel that's what will keep a girl, but because you know that's something that makes her smile. I've found that through the years, romance doesn't have to die. It may not be all the flowers/candy that it once was, but it manifests itself in different ways...a foot rub...a surprise gift from your favorite store...merely just sitting in silence, content in each other's company, and not having to say a word...holding hands. :)

Yep, total sucker for the small things!

Cherry Who? 09-28-2007 11:07 PM

It's so adorable and sweet when guys do things like that. Sweet things like that just make my day.
But I don't think the girls should just sit back and receive all this and do nothing. I think that a girl should just do as many sweet things for her guy. Rub his back, cook him dinner, get HIM surprise gifts, that kind of thing.
And I don't think girls should expect everything their guy does to be completely perfect.
It disgusts me when women get mad at their husbands for not getting them a good ENOUGH gift. Like if a guy gets his girlfriend flowers for valentine's day, and she gets all pissy because she wanted chocolate.

Secret 09-28-2007 11:09 PM

  • My girl does the same things sometimes. The fact that it's few and far between make it all the more special for me. Sometimes I'll come home after working really late, and she'll be at my apartment and will have cooked me dinner, or she'll just stop by with a case of my favorite soda and cheetos (my favorite snack.) Small things like that, even though it didn't cost much, really make me happy. Even more so than big gifts. Because I know she was thinking of me.

Clara 09-28-2007 11:40 PM

Awww. :3 You're so sweet to her.
My fiance rarely tries to surprise me. >.>

Vickicat 09-28-2007 11:49 PM

Sweet.
 
I think it's sweet for guys to do little things like that. Reading this makes me want to do more little things for my boyfriend too. XD I don't think it's geeky at all and it's a lot nicer than some guys who think of nothing but getting in girl's pants. XD

mangacatgirl 09-28-2007 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherry Flavored Antacid

It disgusts me when women get mad at their husbands for not getting them a good ENOUGH gift. Like if a guy gets his girlfriend flowers for valentine's day, and she gets all pissy because she wanted chocolate.

Well at least I wont have to worry about that. I hate chocolate ^.^; I get my husband chocolate every year. He almost never gets anything at all for me though. Last year I think he bought chocolate in a box, knowing I don't like chocolate so he could eat it >.>; Not sure how that was supposed to work though... But apparently it was good for him. He got twice as much chocolate ^.^; But I always buy him the good stuff with the alcohol in it >.>;

Anyway yeah... On average I get nothing for Valentine's day ^.^; I still think it's a fun holiday though ^.^ All the diamond commercials are annoying though... Like guys go out and get diamond rings and necklaces for their girls on Valentine's day o.O; As if >.>; ... Same for mother's day... If I got a diamond anything for any holiday I think I'd have a heart attack XD

Luumi 09-29-2007 01:34 AM

Small little surprise gifts are, in my opinion, extremely sweet for a guy to give. Although giving larger gifts, or just giving gifts too often, may make girls feel awkward.

Anyway, the little things can matter the most in a relationship.

Trinitydoll 09-29-2007 02:39 AM

I love it when my baby does small things to surprise me like he leaves me a note on my laptop saying sweet things, or he finds me icons from carebears and things i like and changes my computer icon for one of these n_n without telling me ....sometimes he shows up with little pressies like a pencil he knows I will like or draws something on a board we have at the kitchen....he always takes off the slippers when I cannot find mines....awww so sweet...he always gives me the bigger piece of pie n_n;<333

Owl 09-29-2007 03:25 AM


  • Oooh, if a guy wrote me a poem or got me flowers or chocolate or sang to me I think I'd go on a date with him no matter what he looked like. <3 I was telling my friend today when we were baking cookies, "Ya know...if a guy baked me some cookies, I think I'd go out with him, just because that's so sweet and thoughtful. <3" I think it may be a little old fashioned, but I want to know that the guy is gonna treat me right! ;D Too many gifts is bad, though, but every once is a while surprizes are wonderful. <3

` Nitemare 09-29-2007 04:46 AM

Aww. :3
I assume that things worked out with the whole abortion thingy? :o
(Still is on the edge of waiting) loL

I love romantic stuff.
My boyfriend is the king of romance.
And the funny thing is, I'm his first and only girlfriend. <3
He does romantic things all the time and I never expect it either.
Giving me roses randomly, kisses on the hand whenever he leaves, wrote me a outstanding poem for me.
And all of these little things. <333
I love it and him so much. >w<

If we somehow broke up and was able to keep on living (completely doubt it) I would not accept anything else and lower of a guy.
I hate guys who aren't romantic and show their love for their girlfriends.
It makes me sad.
I'd hate to have a guy who isn't remotely romantic. </3
I find it adorable when a couple holds hands together or they do something romantic in public. It makes me happy. :3
Romance is something that is slowly fading away.
Either people are self-conscious of what others will think; they don't know how to be romantic; or they are starting to lose home in love. Or they just don't care. D:

woopdidoodoo 09-29-2007 05:46 AM

Secret you sound like a true gent and a sweetheart!
My other half is also quite the romantic and will do little things like run a bath for me and light candles so I can relax after work. Or he will give me chocolate and whatnot. Sometimes he and I will go on one of our favorite drives up the country and we will have a romantic picnic and feel like we are the only people on Earth.

green_freak07 09-29-2007 06:55 AM

actually i'm not really entertained by the topic romance.. i'd rather find something magical.. cause its cool. maybe i don't like romance topics because i'm not yet in lurve.. well.. whatever.

Chaoticness 09-29-2007 08:55 AM

aww thats so sweet of you to do that for your girlfriend.

Guys who give girls romantic suprises are genuinely rare to find nowadays (well it is where i live anyway) its great to hear that there are still some true gentlemen left in the world! My boyfriend never did anything like that, i attempted to give him nice little suprises like writ him notes make him a suprise lunch and things but he never seemed remotely interested or pleased so i gave up :(

Don't every change your attitude towards your relationship though and continue with the romanticness forever <33..but yeah i must admit the whole standing outside someones window singing and waiting for a long time does sound rather creepy lol.


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